Underfell - An Unusual Visit
by AnUnusualVisitor
Summary: Auvie has made a promise. A promise that has driven her to travel dimensions in order to fulfill it. However, she's found herself in the wrong dimension. Can she escape, and what will she find while she's there? (Underfell!Sans/Self Insert, sfw but suggestive, trigger warning for mentions of emotional abuse, violence, also sweating and swearing)
1. Chapter 1: Ice to Meet You

**Author's Note** :

This fic uses a pre-existing self-insert character! Some information, like how her powers work and what she looks like, isn't present in this fic. I recommend that you check out the link left on my profile before reading.

It is possible to read this work without seeing the above link, it just won't make as much sense.

Also, this is based off of the _Underfell_ AU. You can find out more information about it on the official Underfell Tumblr blog. (Be sure to check out some of the side links for more details.)

The site keeps deleting my paragraph spacing, so here's how it'll work: one line is a time skip, one line with **x** s on either side is a perspective switch.

(Except for in the case of the Author's Notes.)

Thank you, and enjoy this fancy piece of garbage!

* * *

The white, tree-lined path was both very familiar and very foreign.

That was a worrying sign.

Auvie looked around, blade still in hand. Everything _seemed_ pretty much the same. The door was right behind her; the bushes were off to the left, though there weren't any leaves on the branches…

She recalled how, a year ago, she had walked down a similar snowy path, shivering in fear and anticipation. How every shadow had made her jump. How, at any moment, she had expected something nasty and terrifying to attack her.

That, of course, is when she had met Sans and Papyrus, who were anything but nasty.

It had been an accident. Early on, as she was just learning to use her powers, something went wrong and she was flung into their dimension. When they saw that she was essentially homeless, they had taken her under their wing and let her stay at their house until she was finally able to leave.

If it hadn't been for their help, she would be a frozen corpse right now.

Auvie walked down the path, snow crunching under her feet. She came here to visit them again, like she promised she would. She was _certain_ that she had gotten the correct dimension, having practiced her technique ever since that incident, but… this didn't seem right. She'd probably travelled to one of the neighboring dimensions instead.

This was alarming, but not a huge problem. She was usually able to find a way back home within a few days or so, depending on the dimension she was in. Dimensional travel was… complicated, to say the least, but if she poked around enough, she could find a shortcut.

When she was with Sans and Papyrus, however, the process had taken three months. And that was with Sans's help.

If this dimension was similar to Sans and Papyrus's, then there might be an issue.

 _I really need to stop trying to traverse dimensions like this_ , she thought grimly to herself. _They're really not worth the trouble. It's only a matter of time before I end up in a dimension that I won't be able to escape from, and_ _ **then**_ _what'll I do?_

That's what she always told herself.

But she had a promise to fulfill.

As she walked, she realized what was so different about this place. Everything seemed _sharper_ than before. The trees were all dead, and long icicles hung from their spiky branches. Even the snow seemed a little crunchier than she remembered. _It might just be my imagination. It's been a long time._

She stood still for a second and let the silence wash over her. It was eerie. She wasn't sure if it had always been this quiet or not. _Maybe this IS the same dimension, and all of the monsters escaped_ , she thought with a pang of hope. _Maybe they managed to break the barrier, and they're living on the surface now_.

She dwelled in the silence for a few moments, then kept walking. _Either way, I guess I'll soon find out._

It was only about a minute or so before Auvie found something else different. She stopped in her tracks, eyes widening.

It was Papyrus's bridge, except it wasn't. What once had been wood was now twisted, uneven metal. Where there should have been a railing, there was barbed wire. The bars were now covered in spikes.

They… were still too wide to stop anyone, though.

 _Well, either I'm in a separate dimension, or the monsters have decided to up their game_. Auvie took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"well, what do we have here?"

A chill ran down Auvie's spine. She spun around, bringing her blade in front of her.

The strangest sight met her eyes.

A skeleton of about Auvie's height stood a few yards away from her. He wore a black jacket with a yellow fur trim and a red turtleneck. His eyes glowed crimson, and a golden tooth glinted in his menacing, razor-sharp grin.

Auvie lowered her blade. " _Sans_?" A smile played at the edge of her mouth.

The skeleton seemed startled by the name. "y-yeah?"

An awkward silence stretched between them.

Auvie just kept staring. _This must be a separate dimension then; he doesn't recognize me_. God, he looked so _weird_. It was strange seeing someone so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, and Auvie had seen a lot of strange things.

His personality seemed pretty different, too, from what she could tell. There was a lot more uncertainty in his eyes.

The skeleton seemed to regain his composure. "…okay, so you know my name. that's pretty fucking creepy." He paused. "you gonna keep staring at me?"

 _This Sans cusses more_. Auvie remembered herself and looked away. "Sorry," she muttered, feeling sheepish.

" **snow** big deal, heh. guess you've never seen a talking skeleton like me before, huh?" His grin widened. "that said, you're a human, so I have to kill you now."

His hand glimmered with red magic.

Oh.

Auvie took a step back, a dull _clank_ sounding as she stepped onto the bridge. "Actually, I'd, uh… prefer not to. Die. Thanks."

"Sans" advanced, his left eye getting brighter. "sorry, I don't make the rules. if you hold still, though, I'll make it quick." His grin was downright malicious now.

Auvie kept backing up. _Shit, this is pretty bad._ She hadn't been anywhere near the other Sans in terms of power. If this Sans was just as powerful…

Her foot met the ground on the other side of the bridge. She brought her blade up in front of her. She tested the dimensional fabric; much to her relief, it was actually pretty thick. _Good, there's less likely to be repercussions if I use my powers here_. She might have a chance to get away, then.

Sans regarded the blade with curiosity. "that's a neat sword. what, did you humans figure out how to make weapons out of energy or something?"

"Something like that, yeah," Auvie replied. She prepared to cross the fabric.

"sweet. you might actually pose a challenge to me, then." He raised his hand above his head, and a glowing red bone appeared above him. " **let's go**."

"SANS!"

The grating voice startled the both of them. Auvie stumbled back a few steps. She looked up to see the magic bone gone, and Sans tucking his hands into his jacket pockets, eyes narrowed in annoyance.

She heard footsteps behind her. She turned around.

Whatever strange feelings she had felt upon seeing Sans had just been topped tenfold.

Before her, hands on his hips, was Papyrus. Or rather, what Papyrus would look like if he dressed up as a villain for Halloween. His armor was black and his cape was tattered. He had narrow eyes and jagged teeth. There were spikes _everywhere_.

He didn't look happy.

 _This is just too weird_ , Auvie thought. She stepped to the side and watched as Papyrus approach Sans. Sans seemed roughly just as happy to see him.

"SANS, YOU LEFT YOUR DIRTY SOCKS ALL OVER THE COUCH. AGAIN! WHY MUST I CLEAN UP AFTER ALL OF YOUR MESSES?" Papyrus tapped a bony finger on one of his belt spikes.

"bro, I'm a little busy here," Sans replied through gritted teeth. "why don't you yell at me later?"

"BUSY? SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BUSY? ALL YOU DO IS SLACK ABOUT ALL DAY, AVOIDING WORK! IT'S A MIRACLE YOU'RE EVEN A SENTRY! IF I WERE UNDYNE, YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN FIRED BY NOW!" Papyrus's belt tapping intensified.

"yeah, well, I just became employee of the month. check out what I found." Sans nodded in Auvie's direction.

Papyrus turned towards Auvie, squinting at her fiercely.

Auvie waved. "Hey, Papyrus."

Papyrus furrowed his skull in confusion. He returned his gaze to Sans. "SANS, WHY IS THAT STRANGE BLUE ROCK FORMATION TALKING? FURTHERMORE, WHY DOES IT KNOW MY NAME?"

Sans smirked. "it's not a rock formation, you numbskull, it's a human."

Papyrus shot upright. "A HU-" He whirled around and looked at Auvie a second time. "I SEE! EXCELLENT WORK, BROTHER! YOU HAVE CLEARLY DONE YOUR DUTY."

It was brief, but Auvie thought she caught a glimpse of some other emotion on Sans's face. He turned his face away before she could identify it, though.

Papyrus straightened his back and put a gloved hand on his chest. "SO, THE HUMANS HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO INVADE AND SENT YOU IN ADVANCE! WELL, YOU SHALL GET NO FURTHER! I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, WILL BE THE INSTRUMENT OF YOUR DEMISE!" Papyrus raised his hand to the sky.

Glowing bones with jagged edges erupted from the ground around Auvie. She started and moved to hold her blade at the ready, only to realize that it was no longer in her hand. _Dammit! I must have dismissed it earlier when I lost my focus._ She might be able to cross the fabric in time to get away, but-

"ANY LAST WORDS BEFORE YOUR DEATH, HUMAN?" Papyrus held a triumphant pose, prepared to deal the deathblow at any moment.

Sans stood off to the side, his expression smug. His eyes kept darting away as Auvie tried to meet them, though.

Auvie struggled to think. These two were clearly more aggressive than the other Sans and Papyrus. And because of the way monsters and their magical energy worked, that would mean that they were probably stronger, too. It wouldn't be wise to go up against them in an actual fight.

 _But I'm not sure I'd have much luck running away, either._ The two of them probably knew the terrain much better than her. Plus, she was sure that they weren't the only enemies she'd encounter.

It didn't seem as if she had many options.

Then she had an idea. _Maybe…_

"VERY WELL!" Papyrus brought his hand down. "PREPARE TO MEET YOUR-"

"Actually, I'm kind of disappointed."

Papyrus halted mid-attack. "I BEG YOUR PARDON?"

Auvie shrugged, trying not to look as fearful as she felt. "I only just got here, and it's obvious that your power is really impressive. I would have loved to see what other defenses you had set up, because I'm… sure they would have been great." It took a very conscious effort not to stumble over the last few words. _Please work, please work, please work…_

Papyrus seemed to contemplate these words.

The seconds ticked by.

"AS YOU WISH!" Papyrus waved his hand, and the bones disappeared. "I WILL HONOR YOUR FINAL REQUEST."

Auvie let out a slow sigh of relief.

Sans looked exasperated.

"HOWEVER, DO NOT RELAX, HUMAN! THE GAUNTLET IS ONLY SLIGHTLY LESS DEADLY AND TERRIFYING! YOU WILL MOST CERTAINLY DIE! AND I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL DELIVER YOUR SOUL TO THE CAPITAL AND BECOME A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD! CONTINUE FORWARD ONLY WHEN YOU ARE READY TO MEET YOUR FATE!" Papyrus let out a shrill, evil cackle, then scurried away.

 _Okay, at least I've bought myself some time_. Auvie inhaled deeply and smiled. Papyrus might have had a change in wardrobe and attitude, but he was still Papyrus. She turned to look at Sans, only to see that he was gone. _Yeah, typical Sans. Guess neither of them are really all that different from their other selves._

She started to follow Papyrus.

"think you're clever, huh?"

The voice came from behind her. Auvie's muscles froze.

"my bro's right, the gauntlet's no playground. you aren't really in a much better situation."

Auvie tried to tell her muscles to move. It didn't work.

"don't think you can weasel out of this, either. **I'll be watching.** "

Her muscles finally loosened. She turned around.

There was nobody there.

She could here a faint chuckle in the distance.

She took a deep breath.

Well.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

A few minutes later, after a couple of encounters with some "emodrakes" and a blind wolf sentry, Auvie walked past the line of snowy trees and out onto the rocky outcropping where Sans and Papyrus waited.

Papyrus was tapping his foot impatiently. He looked up as Auvie approached. "AT LAST YOU HAVE ARRIVED, HUMAN! BEHOLD, OUR DASTARDLY TRAP!" Papyrus spread his arms wide.

Auvie looked around the outcropping. "Okay, what is it?"

"'NOTHING', EH? THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE-" Papyrus blinked. His expression changed to a perplexed one. "WAIT, WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Sans sleepily opened one eye and gave Auvie a nonchalant look.

She stood a few seconds in confused silence before she realized that she might have missed a cue. She cleared her throat. "I mean, what are you talking about? There's nothing there."

Papyrus brightened up considerably, in his own malicious way. "THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK! WHAT YOU ARE GAZING UPON IS THE INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS MINEFIELD MAZE! ONE WRONG STEP, AND YOU'LL BE BLOWN SKY HIGH! YOU SURELY WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT PAST THIS!"

A row of jagged bones shot up from the ground behind Auvie.

"AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF ESCAPING! IF YOU TRY, MY BROTHER AND I WILL DECIMATE YOU INSTANTLY! YOU MUST FACE YOUR DEATH WITH COURAGE, HUMAN!"

"it was nice meeting you," Sans added, smirking.

Auvie carefully considered the trap before her. This was definitely more hazardous than the electricity maze from the other dimension. She might have been willing to go through the gauntlet the normal way if it had been easier, but she would probably die if she attempted that here. _Better not risk it_ , she thought.

Papyrus wore a sneer. "TAKE AS MUCH TIME AS YOU NEED TO, HUMAN. THE DECISION TO DIE IS NOT-"

"Done."

Surprised, Papyrus and Sans searched around before they saw her standing near the exit to the rest of the woods.

Oh, god, their faces were glorious. Auvie had a really hard time suppressing the urge to laugh at their utterly bewildered expressions. Even Sans, who just a few moments ago had been as smug as possible, looked like he had swallowed an entire lemon.

Auvie bit her lip in an attempt to disguise her amusement. "That was pretty tricky. What's the next one?"

Papyrus was the first to emerge from his stupor. "Y-YES! THE NEXT TRAP! YOU SURELY WON'T SURVIVE!" He ran ahead.

Auvie watched him go. _You know_ , she thought, _I might actually live through this._

"nice trick."

Auvie turned in the direction of the voice.

Sans was still there. He was wearing a bored expression, but there was something in his eyes that suggested otherwise. "where'd you pick up something like that? thought humans couldn't do magic."

"They can't," Auvie replied.

There was a long silence.

Finally, Sans's face twitched in agitation. "okay, don't tell me. don't know why I even asked." His malevolent grin returned. "point is, you can't keep doing it forever. you're gonna crack eventually. and I'm gonna enjoy it." He started walking away. "see ya."

She blinked and he was gone.

 _Yeah, we'll see_ , she thought. She shivered; her outfit wasn't doing a lot to protect her from the cold. She danced around a bit, steeled her nerves, then walked on into the woods. As she did so, she couldn't help but smile.

This might actually be fun.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans had to admit, he was mystified.

He had no idea who the hell this lady was or how she had accomplished what she did. He didn't know where she came from, he didn't know her name, and he didn't know how she knew theirs.

The way she had appeared and disappeared reminded him of his own powers, but it was different. The process was completely unrecognizable to him.

There were too many things he didn't know about her.

It pissed him off.

He looked over at her as she walked up to the hot chocolate vendor. She seemed to be shivering, which didn't surprise him. Her clothes were _abysmal_ for this cold. A tank top, in the snow? He was impressed she'd made it this far, actually.

 _more like amused_ , he corrected himself.

The vendor spoke to her, and she reached into her pants pockets, searching for something.

Sans's grin widened.

A few moments later, she straightened up and shook her head. The hot chocolate vendor shrugged. She waved to him and walked away.

Well. Wasn't that convenient.

He looked down at his own steaming cup of hot cocoa. _guess I can use this._

The thought filled him with a sadistic satisfaction.

She was coming this way.

"heya," he said as she walked up to him. "couldn't help but notice you trying to buy hot chocolate over there. what, you got no money?"

"Looks like it," she stated. She rubbed her shoulders.

"that's a shame," he replied. He took a long, luxurious swig from his cup, exaggerating his gulping noises at he did so. He finished, glancing at her face to see her reaction.

She looked mildly irritated, but not terribly surprised.

 _guess she's not a total idiot_ , Sans thought. He took another sip.

"Hey, can I ask you something?"

He raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "beats me. _can_ you?"

She ignored his comment. "Why is everyone like this? All the people I've met down here have acted really aggressive. What happened to make everyone act this way?"

 _what the fu_ \- He nearly choked on the air laughing. "what made everyone this way? what made- how about _years of fucking oppression by humans_? seriously, the hell kind of question is that?"

"Well, yeah, but even this seems…" She shook her head. "Never mind. I guess that was a stupid question."

"yeah."

There was yet another silence.

Sans was getting tired of the silences. "maybe you're right, though," he said. "maybe we could be less aggressive." He looked at his cup, which still had some hot chocolate in it. "you know, I'm done with this. do you want it?"

Her eyebrows went up. "Really?"

"yeah, sure." He extended the cup out to her.

She lifted her hand, then hesitated.

Sans shook the cup. "c'mon. I'm not gonna hold it out forever."

Slowly, she reached out for it.

Her fingers touched the cup's surface. She almost had it-

He dropped the cup.

The chocolaty contents spilled out across the snow. Steam rose from where it fell. The snow melted to create a sweet, watery mess.

"oops," Sans said.

Her expression was pure ambrosia. That was the most withering glare he had ever seen. She was _not_ amused.

It was incredible.

Sans shrugged, a snigger escaping from between his teeth. "you better get used to aggression, lady, because that's all you're getting down here. later." He turned around and walked away.

He tried not to think about how much her question bothered him.

* * *

It was about fifteen minutes before he reached the clearing where the next trap awaited.

Papyrus was waiting for him, tapping his belt.

Sans took his time making his way over. "sup."

"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, BROTHER?" Papyrus was irritated as always. "THE HUMAN COULD ARRIVE AT ANY SECOND!"

Sans grimaced. _happy to see you too, bro_. "yeah, I know. I was keeping an eye on her." He'd been trying to figure out her "disappearing trick", but she hadn't done it since the last trap. _does she know I'm watching? nah, couldn't be._ He shook his head. "she's on her way. should be here soon."

Papyrus glared into the distance. "SHE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN HERE FIVE MINUTES AGO! WHY IS SHE SO LATE? IS SHE WOUNDED?"

"not that I could tell. last time I saw her, she was still petting Lesser Dog. heard her say something about wanting to give both heads 'equal attention.'" Sans made a disgusted noise at the back of his lack-of-a-throat.

"LESSER DOG? BUT LESSER DOG NEVER ACCEPTS ATTENTION, ESPECIALLY NOT FROM OUTSIDERS." Papyrus's sockets narrowed. "THIS HUMAN IS CUNNING."

Sans wasn't sure he'd call it that, but whatever. "she's just lucky. she's not gonna last much longer."

The sound of feet attracted their attention. They looked up.

There she was. Wearing clothes that were terrible for the climate, walking up to a deadly trap designed to kill any human who came through, being watched by monsters who had every intent of destroying her.

She looked up at them, and smiled.

 _she's gotta be faking it_ , Sans thought. _she's gotta be terrified._ She'd been scared earlier, when Sans had first met her.

Had that fear gone away? Or had she just learned to hide it?

She gave no indication either way. "Hi. Is this the next trap?"

"YES." Papyrus gestured forward. "BEFORE YOU LIES THE…" He turned to Sans. "WHAT DID WE CALL THIS TRAP, SANS? I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME."

"the 'snaptrap,' or something stupid like that," Sans replied. He really wished he'd thought of a better name.

"RIGHT, THE SNAPTRAP." Papyrus returned his gaze to the human. "THIS TRAP IS MUCH MORE CHALLENGING THAN THE LAST ONE, HUMAN! FOR YOU SEE, IN ORDER TO PASS THIS TRIAL-"

 _wait_. "pap, don't-"

"-YOU WILL NEED TO PRESS ONE OF THESE SWITCHES THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU. HOWEVER, IF YOU PRESS THE WRONG SWITCH, YOU WILL RECEIVE A NASTY SURPRISE! CHOOSE CAREFULLY IF YOU WISH TO SUCCEED!" He paused. "WHICH YOU WON'T. BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO DIE."

Sans sighed. _well, at least he didn't specify the surprise_. That would have been _really_ fucking stupid.

The human looked a bit concerned- _good_ , Sans thought- as she looked over the switches. She bit their lip contemplatively.

 _she's screwed_. A satisfied smirk settled on his face. _even_ _ **I**_ _don't know the right switch to solve the puzzle. mainly because I just take a shortcut past it._ The smirk faded. _though, come to think of it, she could probably just pull off the same trick she did earlier. but if she could… she'd have done it by now, wouldn't she?_

Why wouldn't she?

The human still stood there, lost in thought. Finally, the human nodded, as if deciding upon something, and stooped down to the ground. She began to pick up snow.

 _what's she planning now?_ Sans looked over at Papyrus.

Papyrus seemed just as puzzled as Sans. "HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS THAT SNOW FOR?"

"I'm testing something." She was now bouncing the snow back and forth between her hands, slowly forming it into a ball. There was something weird about the way she was doing it; the air shimmered around the ball, and the snow never touched her gloved fingers. Once she had finished, she tossed the ball in the air once and threw it.

It smashed into the ground a couple of yards away from her.

The air was still.

A small wheeze exited Sans's mouth. He clamped his teeth together, shoulders shaking with laughter. _wow. what a shot._ What the hell was this lady _doing_?

The lady was equally unimpressed by her throw, judging by the expression on her face. She closed her eyes, inhaled, then bent down and started making another one.

"HUMAN, IF YOU WISH TO GIVE UP AND JUST LET US KILL YOU, THAT IS STILL AN OPTION." Papyrus crossed his arms. "DO NOT FEEL THE NEED TO HUMILIATE YOURSELF LIKE THIS."

She gave Papyrus a taste of that withering glare, then raised an eyebrow. "I'm not giving up." She eyed the switches as she continued to make the snowball.

A light bulb went off over Sans's head. _oh, so THAT's what she's doing._ Sans chuckled. _this oughta be good._ She was going to try to trigger the switches remotely. Smart idea. It wouldn't work, though; if he knew Papyrus at all, then he had some countermeasures installed for this very reason.

Except… Papyrus looked oddly stiff. His hands were clenched, and his jaw was set. His eyes also looked shifty, which was really impressive considering his eyeballs weren't visible.

 _don't tell me…_ Sans turned back towards the human.

She had finished making her second snowball. She squinted at the switches, angled her arm, and lobbed it.

It flew high through the air and landed with a splat on one of the middle switches.

Nothing happened.

"WELL, HUMAN," Papyrus said after a while, "I WILL IGNORE THE FACT THAT YOU JUST ATTEMPTED TO CHEAT MY-"

Suddenly, the switch compressed with a _click_ , and the spikes behind the two brothers lowered.

This silence was the longest by far.

The human, trembling with suppressed laughter, was the first to break it. "So, I think you have a design flaw in your puzzle-"

Papyrus threw up his hands. "GAH! FORGET ABOUT IT! THE NEXT TRAP WILL BE YOUR DEMISE FOR CERTAIN!" He stomped off.

Belatedly, Sans realized that he had been laughing, as well. He covered his mouth with his hand. Seeing Papyrus so frustrated… Sans had to admit, it was pretty funny. He swallowed a gulp of air to steady himself, then turned to face the human.

She was standing a few feet away from him, looking at him.

He hadn't seen her walk up to him. His face started to sweat. "what?"

The human quickly looked away. "I dunno."

Sans stared at her for a moment, then shrugged. "I'll be honest, that was pretty funny. I didn't expect to see pap taken off-guard like that. doesn't happen very often."

The human wore a small, sheepish smile. "Yeah. I almost felt a little bad, not going through the puzzle as I was supposed to."

"you felt **bad**?" Sans snorted derisively. "why? you're still alive."

"Not about _that_ part. It just seemed like he put a lot of time and energy into it." The human glanced back at the puzzle.

Sans stared at her for a second. _wow. this lady._ He grinned in a way that he hoped was ominous. "well, he's not gonna be disappointed for much longer. you survived on a fluke." He started walking away. "It's only a matter of time before you fail."

He took a shortcut to a nearby vantage point. He glanced back at the clearing, scoping out her reaction.

She just stood there for a few moments. Then she adjusted her hat and kept moving.

 _still not deterred, huh? well, that's fine._

It just meant that he'd get to watch her die.

* * *

Twenty minutes had passed, and Sans's amusement had turned into frustration.

The human had gotten through every obstacle so far.

She'd gotten past all of the traps, all of the barriers, and nearly all of the sentries in one piece. She'd used her "trick" to get past some of them, which would've made Sans feel better if it weren't for the fact that he _still_ had no idea how she did it. He'd seen it multiple times, and he just couldn't get it.

 _this human's wearing out her welcome._ Sans gritted his teeth and took a shortcut to the rock bridge.

Papyrus was tapping his foot. This time, however, his face wore an expression of unease.

 _guess the human's been getting to him, too._ "something wrong, bro? you look **rattled**." He braced himself for the usual backlash.

To his surprise, however, Papyrus ignored his pun. "SANS, I'M… CONCERNED. THIS HUMAN HAS SUCCESSFULLY AVOIDED DEATH AT THE HANDS OF MY TRAPS. I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THE INVASION FORCE MUST BE LIKE IF THIS IS JUST THEIR SCOUT."

Oh, right. He still thought that the humans were invading. "pretty sure there isn't an invasion force, pap. just her."

"IF THAT IS TRUE, THEN THAT'S A RELIEF." Papyrus face grew solemn. "STILL, EVEN JUST ONE HUMAN IS A HUGE PROBLEM."

Sans didn't know what to say to that. "yeah," he replied.

Papyrus tapped his chin thoughtfully. "YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING HER, HAVEN'T YOU, SANS? HOW DOES SHE _DO_ IT? THAT TRICK. IT LOOKS SIMILAR TO YOUR MAGIC."

"beats me." He ground his teeth together. "I can't figure it out, no matter how many times I watch it happen."

Papyrus seemed disturbed by this. He was quiet for a while. When he spoke again, it was in a lower voice – a lower voice for Papyrus, anyway. "WHAT IF SHE SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETES THE GAUNTLET, BROTHER? WHAT SHALL WE DO THEN?"

 _yeah, well, maybe you should have thought of that earlier, before you agreed to show her our defenses_. Sans didn't voice his thoughts. "relax, bro. this last trap is pretty much foolproof, even with her ability." _well, not foolproof, but…_

Papyrus didn't seem comforted by this.

Sans tried a slightly different tack. "besides, she said to me earlier that she regretted not going through your other puzzle the way she was meant to."

Papyrus looked astonished. "SHE DID?"

Sans cracked a wide grin. "yup. we can take advantage of that guilt, and her confidence." _she might not fall for it, but it's worth a shot._ "and even if none of that works, we can just kill her. that's never stopped being an option."

Papyrus mulled over these words. When he spoke, it was with finality. "IF IT COMES TO THAT, THEN I WILL GLADLY FIGHT HER."

Sans nodded, closing his eyes. _not much can get past pap. he's one tough skeleton._

"AT WHICH POINT, YOU MUST LEAVE, BROTHER."

Sans started. "huh?"

Papyrus stared straight ahead. "YOU ARE WEAK, SANS. YOU CANNOT ENGAGE HER. YOU MUST BE READY TO WARN THE VILLAGERS, JUST IN CASE."

 _oh, not this bullshit again._ Sans scowled at his brother. "like hell."

Papyrus turned and gave him a mighty glare.

 _dammit_. "okay, _fine_ , but it won't matter anyway. she's not gonna get past you."

Papyrus returned his gaze to the bridge, where a blue shape was approaching.

The human stopped when she reached the edge of the bridge. "Hey."

 _right on cue._ Sans briefly wondered if that was one of her abilities, too.

"HELLO, HUMAN." Papyrus's stance was rigid. "IT SEEMS WE HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE GAUNTLET."

"Really?" She looked down at the bridge. "What is it?"

"THIS TRAP," Papyrus responded, "IS CALLED 'THE CRUSHER.' "

The human looked at Papyrus expectantly.

Papyrus merely smirked. "THAT'S ALL I SHALL TELL YOU. THE REST IS FOR YOU TO FIND OUT."

 _looks like paps learned his lesson from last time_ , Sans thought. _that's good._

The human seemed unnerved by his words. She examined the bridge carefully, then looked back up at the two brothers.

"GO FORTH, HUMAN." Papyrus tilted his head ever so slightly. "I WOULD BE MOST DISAPPOINTED IF YOU DIDN'T AT LEAST ATTEMPT THIS… PUZZLE."

She frowned. She took a deep breath, then stepped forward. She waited.

Nothing happened.

She exhaled, and kept walking across the narrow walkway.

Still smiling, Papyrus pressed the first button on the remote in his hand.

The axes swung around from underneath the bridge. She started and began dodging them as well as she could. There were clearly a few times where she used her ability, but she seemed to make do without it, for the most part.

She had gotten past the axes.

Papyrus pressed the second button.

Now the saw blades were activated. They spun toward her. She managed to see them in time, and jumped over them.

 _that's two down_ , Sans thought.

Papyrus pressed the third button.

The spears shot up from the stone.

Sans remembered Papyrus telling him about how this last one was inspired by Undyne. He was very proud of it.

Still, the human seemed to dance around them. There were tiny ripples in the air where she pushed herself away from them.

 _she's doing well_ , Sans thought. _she might make it._ His sweating started. _fuck._ He wiped his skull with his sleeve. Stupid sweating problem. He was a skeleton, he shouldn't have to put _up_ with this.

She was almost at the end of the spears. She hopped past the last one.

It shot up, catching her pants leg.

She tripped.

Sans's sockets widened.

She was teetering on the edge of the bridge. For a few long moments, she was suspended there, caught between life and death.

He stopped breathing.

The air shimmered around her flailing arms. She pushed herself forward, regaining her footing.

Sans let out the air he had been holding. He wasn't sure whether he was disappointed or not.

Papyrus didn't seem at all affected by the incident. He was still staring straight ahead.

The human put her hands on her knees, catching her breath.

 _well, she did it_ , Sans thought.

She'd gotten through the entire Gauntlet.

Papyrus didn't move from where he was standing.

She straightened up and slowly walked forward, smiling. "Well, that was-"

Suddenly, there was a loud _snap_ , and Sans barely caught a glimpse of the human's frightened face before she was slammed between two walls of spikes.

He flinched back.

 _holy_ _ **fuck**_ _._

A set of _whirrs_ and _clicks_ sounded as various other weapons activated, penetrating through the stone walls and cementing her death.

Then the air filled with an unsettling quiet.

Sans stared in disbelief at the device. He hadn't known about that last one. _when did pap add that?_ He looked over at his brother.

At first, Papyrus was completely motionless. Then, gradually, he relaxed, like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. He turned to face Sans with a tentative smile.

Sans returned it, then looked back at the Crusher.

Wow.

It had been… so quick.

He could hardly believe it had happened.

The image of her frightened face flashed in his mind. He shuddered. _well. add that to the list of things I need to forget_. He had already accumulated plenty of memories to smother in the back of his skull; what was one more?

And yet, he couldn't really bring himself to look away.

Papyrus seemed to have the same issue. His eyes were stuck on the device, his mouth frowning.

They both stared at it in silence.

Sans couldn't bear looking at it anymore. _we need to tell the villagers, or something_. He hated being the one who had to run errands, but he'd do it if he had to.

"As I was saying…"

The voice sent a tremor through his entire body.

No.

It was impossible.

Sans whirled around.

Standing right there, just a short distance away, was the human. Her scarf was tattered, her hat had a hole in it, and there were red pinpricks on her arms; other than that, however, she seemed no worse for wear.

"…that was pretty tricky," she finished.

Sans just gaped at her. _she should be dead._ _ **I saw her die.**_ He closed his eyes. No, he was an idiot. She had gotten away at the last second due to her ability. _of course she did. why wouldn't she?_ He'd thought she didn't have time to get away, but obviously, she'd managed it.

Papyrus, on the other hand, seemed absolutely flabbergasted. He kept sputtering. "HOW- YOU- BUT-"

She just stood there, shit-eating grin plastered on her face, acting like she had just performed the world's greatest magic trick.

Sans half expected her to bow.

 _wow._ He clenched his fists, chuckling. _she really got us, didn't she. she made us look like total_ _ **boneheads**_ _._

He could feel the power building behind his left eye.

 _I can't wait to beat the shit out of her._

"Was that the last one?" She picked up a handful of snow, pressing it to her right shoulder. She winced. "If so, I have to get going. Your trap kind of got me."

Papyrus's hands fell to his sides. "…YES. THAT WAS THE LAST SECTION. YOU'VE SUCCESSFULLY PASSED THE GAUNTLET."

Sans shot Papyrus a look.

The human smiled, clearly relieved. "Great. Well, it was nice meeting you two. Guess I'll see you later." She began to walk away.

" **WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?** "

With a jolt, the human was yanked backwards onto the snowy ground. Her entire body was enveloped in a red glow.

Papyrus strode over to her. "BEFORE, I SAID THAT I WOULD SHOW YOU OUR DEFENSES. I NEVER SAID THAT I WOULD LET YOU LIVE IF YOU GOT PAST THEM."

The human wasn't moving. Her eyes were wide.

 _oh_. Sans's was filled with a cruel glee. _things are going to get_ _ **interesting**_ _._

Papyrus turned his face upwards to look at Sans. "BROTHER. LEAVE."

The smile left his face. _dammit._ "bro-"

" **NOW**."

Sans glowered. "I'm going." He walked a short distance away, glancing back at his brother.

Papyrus had returned his attention to the human. He had his arm raised, bones emerging from the ground around him.

Sans took the opportunity to teleport just out of sight to a place where he could watch. _there's no chance in hell that I'm missing this._

The bones floated above Papyrus's head. "YOU WERE A WORTHY ADVERSARY, HUMAN." His gaze was steely. "GOODBYE."

The human wasn't even attempting to struggle.

Papyrus threw his arm down.

The bones pierced empty air.

Papyrus quickly stood up and scanned his surroundings.

The human was on her feet. She was holding that glowing sword from earlier, the one that Sans had initially seen her with.

There was an expression on her face that was unlike any of the others.

The air felt chillier.

Sans was suddenly afraid.

The sweating and shaking started up. _damn._ _ **it**_ _._ Sans buried his face into the fur lining his hood and tried to make himself still. Papyrus would be fine. He was a very skilled fighter. And even if the human somehow defeated him, Sans would step in and take care of things.

Nothing would happen to either of them.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie wasn't really looking forward to this fight.

She had been wandering around a frozen forest for at least an hour, avoiding traps and enemy attacks. If she hadn't found that licorice lollipop earlier, she would probably be dead now.

She was in no place to duel with Papyrus- or anyone, for that matter.

 _But I'll be damned if I don't give it my best attempt,_ she thought.

Quite literally, in this case.

She held her sword at the ready.

Papyrus eyed her blade. "I SEE THAT YOU ARE BETTER EQUIPPED THAN I THOUGHT."

Auvie didn't say anything.

Papyrus was silent for a moment. Then, in a flash, bones were flying.

Reflexively, Auvie crossed over.

The gray space was quiet. She could hear muffled sounds from the other side of the fabric from whence she came. She traveled to Papyrus's approximate location.

As if breaking the surface of a pond, she reemerged and brought her blade down.

The energy from the swing sent snow flying up into Papyrus's face. He stumbled back, wiping it away.

Auvie remembered what happened when she first met the original Papyrus and Sans. She smiled.

Papyrus glared at Auvie.

 _Uh oh._

She barely managed to jump back before rows and rows of bones jutted out of the ground.

One of them grazed her shin.

It hurt like _hell_.

She winced and staggered to the side. Thinking quickly, she swung her blade diagonally.

A wavelike-ripple was sent from her blade, deflecting the bones away.

She took a few seconds to test out her leg. It still worked fine. _That attack hurt a lot more than the other Papyrus's._ It had felt like her leg was on fire.

This Papyrus wasn't to be taken lightly, it seemed.

Auvie looked up just in time to see Papyrus launch another attack. She quickly got out of the way.

The fight continued.

As they fought, Auvie noticed that she was finding it easier and easier to sidestep his attacks. _Have I memorized his attack patterns?_ She evaded a passing bone.

Each time she dodged, Papyrus seemed to grow more and more angry.

Right now, he looked angrier than ever. He sent out a flurry of bones that brightly gleamed.

Auvie found it easy to avoid them. _No, that's not it_ , she realized. _This Papyrus has more powerful attacks, but he has less_ _ **control**_ _._ In addition, he was wearing out very quickly; it looked like he couldn't keep up his aggressive behavior.

Papyrus was furious. He sent out another flurry of bones.

Auvie didn't have to go anywhere; the bones missed her by a long shot.

Papyrus stomped his foot. "STOP EVADING MY ATTACKS LIKE A COWARD AND FACE ME, HUMAN!"

Auvie smiled darkly. "Okay." She charged straight for him, weaving in and out of the fabric as she did so.

Papyrus stood, waiting for her attack.

She kept running.

At the last second, he brought up a wall of bones in front of him. Spines extended along the length of them.

Auvie skipped through the fabric to his right side and swung her blade at him.

He turned to counter her, but it was too late. The force from the blow sent him flying. He landed upside down in a pile of snow, legs twitching.

She stared after him for a moment, waiting for him to spring up from the snow.

He didn't.

 _That was it?_

Auvie snorted. That had been _easy_. She couldn't count on one hand the times that Papyrus had beaten her through sheer technique alone. This Papyrus was nowhere near that level.

She didn't know why she had been so afraid.

"you piece of fucking **shit**."

Auvie was slammed into the ground. She twisted through the fabric and held her sword in front of her, scouring the landscape for her assailant.

Sans was back. His left eye shined a steady red.

She rubbed her arm, still sore from the traps. That had _hurt_.

He only winked at her. "hurting? **good**." He shot his bone attacks at her.

Auvie twirled her blade, deflecting the bones to each side of her. She really didn't have the time and energy for this. She was done fighting. _How can I end this battle quickly?_

Then she remembered.

 _When you're trying to end a fight quickly…_

She reached out her hand and pulled on the fabric hard.

Sans lazily waved his hand, and another wave of bones came towards her. He didn't look like he was trying to defeat her; he seemed curious about what she was doing.

 _He's in for a surprise._ She blocked them and kept pulling. She backed up until she could feel the tension behind her. Her whole body felt strained. _There's a reason I never use this attack._

The red energy surrounded her, trying to drag her down.

She held her ground.

Then, all of a sudden, she let go.

The red magic vanished, swept up in the energy release behind her. She faced her blade outwards as she rushed toward Sans.

Sans smirked, and disappeared.

But she had accounted for that.

She quickly located the spot he had teleported to and transferred herself through the fabric.

He barely had time to register his shock before she crashed into him.

They plowed through the snow, sending it streaming out from behind them. There were no rocks in their path, thankfully, but it was still a bumpy ride.

They came to a halt.

 _When you want to end a battle quickly, try using your strongest attack first._

Auvie had followed his advice.

Silently, she pressed the blade to Sans neck.

At first, there was no response from him; his eyes were wide with shock.

Then he started shaking. He quivered like a leaf; his face turned red.

Auvie recoiled in surprise.

His head ducked into his jacket. Sweat crawled down his face like bugs.

 _I… hope I didn't hurt him._ She slowly stood up, then extended a hand out to him. "Are… you-"

He feebly smacked her hand away, retreating further into his jacket.

 _Okay, I guess he doesn't want any help._ She glanced over at Papyrus.

Papyrus burst out of the snow pile that he had been stuck in. He moved towards Auvie with an unsteady gait. He raised his hand, trying to summon one of his attacks, only for his hand to fall limply to his side. He swayed, appearing on the verge of falling over.

 _Wow. Guess I really did a number on them._ She awkwardly waved to them, then turned to leave.

Something stopped her.

Words rose to her tongue.

 _I really shouldn't do this._

But she was going to do it anyway.

She turned back around.

"You know," she said. "I've fought your alternate selves multiple times."

Papyrus gave her a look of exhausted incredulity.

She could see Sans's skull slightly peeking out from under his hood.

"They were some of the nicest people I ever met," she continued. "They were thoughtful, caring, and charming." She paused. "They could also hand my ass to me any day of the week. Wanna know why?"

Neither of them responded.

She hadn't really expected them to.

"It was because they knew the importance of _restraint_." She turned away. "Bye."

She didn't see either of their reactions to what she had said. She heard the sound of shifting snow behind her. She was pretty sure that both of them were too spent to attempt a counter attack. She didn't want to risk it, though; she quickened her pace.

Something occurred to her as she walked. _I have no idea where to go now._ She could go to Snowdin, for food and supplies, but she had a feeling that the locals wouldn't be too friendly to her. Plus, she doubted that the "skelebros" would be too happy about their defeat, and if she stopped in Snowdin, they probably wouldn't be far behind.

She needed to find a place with less people.

 _Come to think of it, every area so far has had roughly the same layout and population as the other dimension._

That narrowed her best choice down to one location.

She set a course for Waterfall.


	2. Chapter 2: That's the Way the Waterfalls

**Author's Note:**

Originally, this and the next chapter were going to be one and the same, but this turned out rather long, and I didn't want to keep you all waiting.

Just a warning: things get pretty intense in this chapter! There are ups, downs, and loopty-loops. I'd tread with caution if I were you.

Now would be a good time to mention that a lot of the depictions of characters and locations rely on headcanons that I've posted on my Tumblr blog. Check it out if anything confuses you.

In case it wasn't clear, I made Sans slightly more durable than canon implies. Stuff like pokes or shoves or head pats won't instantly kill him. He's still pretty delicate, though.

I also experimented with flashbacks. Let me know what you think!

With all that said, strap yourselves in, readers!

Because this is going to be quite a ride.

* * *

 _She had no idea where she was._

 _The snow touched her exposed shoulders. She shivered. She had been practicing her techniques, travelling along the dimensional fabric, when there was suddenly a huge burst of energy, and…_

 _She had wound up here._

Maybe this is the other side of the world _, she thought to herself._ Maybe I ended up in Siberia, or something.

Maybe I ended up in a completely different dimension.

 _This new thought sent fear coursing through her veins. If she had ended up in a different dimension, then there was no telling what she would encounter. It might be someplace safe. It might be someplace dangerous._

 _It might be a dimension where people's faces were turned inside out._

 _She shuddered and kept walking._

 _On the ground was a heavy-looking stick. She nudged it with her foot. She could probably pick it up if she tried, but she doubted that it would have much use. She walked past it._

I might be able to find shelter if I keep going _, she thought._ But-

 **Snap.**

 _She halted in her tracks._

 _The air was still._

 _She slowly turned around and looked behind her for the source of the noise._

 _The stick was broken._

Who **broke** that?

 _She was being followed._

 _She started running._

 _Every one of her footfalls felt like lead. Every intake of breath felt like poison in her lungs. She had no idea what was chasing her or where it was, but she knew she wasn't fast enough._

 _She summoned her weapon. It wavered uncertainly._ Come on, **work**. _It fully manifested itself in her right hand. She didn't have a ton of experience with it, but it was better than nothing._

 _She reached a bridge. An arch held up by wooden pillars ran above it._

 _She sprinted across the bridge, then spun around, sword at the ready. This was as good a place to make her stand as any. She called out. "Hello? Is anyone there?"_

 _But nobody came._

 _For a second, Auvie thought she could hear a voice, but it sounded really far away._ Did that come from behind me? _She turned to look-_

 _Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a shadow. She turned back to face it._

 _It wasn't there anymore._

 _Her pulse hammered in her ears._

 _ **She couldn't take this.**_

 _"BROTHER, IS THAT YOU?"_

 _"AH!" Quickly, she twisted around, swinging her sword._

 _The snow from the ground was flung up into the face of the figure behind her. Their entire front was covered in it._

 _Auvie didn't move._

 _Neither did this mysterious being._

 _They both stood there, frozen._

 _Some snow fell off of the mysterious person's gloves._

 _They were red._

 _"well." Auvie heard a voice behind her say. "this is new."_

* * *

Auvie woke up. She rubbed her eyes.

That was the first time she had met Sans and Papyrus, back in the other dimension. After she told them that she was lost, they had let her stay at their house. _Why would I dream about that? Is it because I'm in a similar dimension, or something?_

Oh, well.

She stood up and stretched, her spine making popping noises as she straightened it. She tilted her head from side to side. Sleeping in dirty holes like this was always hard on her body. It also really didn't help the state of her clothes. _I must be filthy right now_. She sighed.

"A-hem."

Auvie started and looked around. She could have sworn she'd heard someone clear their throat.

" **A-** _ **hem**_."

She hadn't imagined it. It was coming from outside the cave. She crept over to the roots covering the entrance and pushed them aside.

Standing outside was a very unhappy monster. They had a moldy water tank on their back with a small, dirty pigeon inside.

Auvie vaguely remembered a similar-looking monster from the other dimension.

"Have a nice nap?" It asked, the crank in its side shifting with a rusty _creak_. Something about their tone suggested that the question wasn't sincere.

"Uh, yes," Auvie replied. "Sorry, was this your spot or something?"

"Yeah." The monster shuffled their feet. A cacophony of squeaks ensued. "Took you a while to wake up."

Auvie felt bad. She stepped out from the roots. "I'm sorry. I, uh, thought it was abandoned."

The monster rolled their eyes. "Whatever. Just don't do it again."

That didn't really comfort her. She reached into her pocket. "You know, I think I picked up some…" Her fingers found some coins. She pulled them out and offered them. "Here."

The monster eyed her hand nervously.

"As thanks." Auvie kept feeling more and more awkward. "For, um… letting me steal your cave." _God, I sound stupid._

The monster stared at her for a moment before speaking. "Okay? I guess?"

There was a moment of silence.

Auvie stood there for a few seconds before realizing that the monster didn't have any hands. "Uh, how do I-"

"Just throw 'em into my tank." The monster gestured with their head. "Don't do it too hard, though."

Auvie tossed the coins into the tank as gently as she could.

The water splashed the pigeon, which let out a throaty squawk.

Auvie cringed. _I hope that was okay_. The unkempt bird reminded her of her situation. "Hey, would you happen to know where I could get a shower or something?"

The monster shivered. "You are asking the _wrong_ monster. I keep away from those things."

"Really? Why?"

Their eyes became shifty. "Cleanliness is a lie by the government. It's their way of controlling you."

Auvie didn't know how to respond to that.

The monster nodded. "It's true. I haven't been 'clean' in years, and I'm fit as a fiddle." They coughed, and a plume of black dust spewed from their mouth. "Anyway, thanks for the money, I guess. See ya." They waddled past her into the cave.

Auvie took a deep breath. _This is why I never talk to people._ Well, that wasn't entirely true. She traversed her way over to the path and started walking.

This Waterfall was _really_ different; it almost warranted a different name. Everything was green. Moss grew on every surface. The water was dark and stagnant. Back in the forest, everything had looked sharper, but at least it still kind of looked like the other one. Auvie could barely recognize this place.

Auvie jumped and quickly flashed away as a nearby plant released a cloud of poisonous gas. _Those are new as well_ , she thought grimly. She hadn't seen a single echo flower here; there were only those toxic things. She'd have to tread carefully.

Hopefully, she wouldn't have to go very far to reach her destination. _If this dimension is like the other one, then the focal point should be nearby._

She continued her journey, not noticing the shadow trailing behind her.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans opened his sockets.

Everything was terrible.

He groaned and pulled his hood over his head to make the world go away. He felt like shit. He tried willing himself back to sleep; it didn't work. _it's too early for this bullshit. I'm tired._

It was always too early.

He was always tired.

Eventually, he emerged from his hood and got to his feet, blinking sleepily.

His room looked like crap. _what else is new._ Paper and socks were scattered all over the place. His dresser had a few chunks knocked out of it, and his lamp was broken. The window was cracked, and the paint was flaking off the sill. Even Garby, his favorite pile of trash, looked even worse than it usually did, huddled in the corner near the door.

Sans rubbed the back of his skull. _pap didn't wake me up today._ That was weird. Papyrus always woke him up, ever since he found out that alarm clocks didn't work for Sans (he'd always find them mysteriously smashed to bits each morning). _guess he must be too busy today._ Sans rolled his head around.

Garby let out a low, guttural growl.

Oh, right. He'd forgotten. Sans scooped up a piece of a paper, crumpled it into a ball, and shot it into the hoop over Garby's head.

Garby consumed the paper and gave a contented gurgle.

Satisfied, Sans teleported downstairs.

In the kitchen, Papyrus was cooking, as he usually did.

Sans leaned on one of the nearby counters. "sup, bro?" He winced; his head was _pounding_ , for some reason.

Papyrus didn't look up from his cooking. "GOOD MORNING, SANS. OR RATHER, GOOD AFTERNOON."

Sans scowled. _yeah, yeah._ "you didn't wake me up today."

Papyrus turned off the stove and took off his apron. "I THOUGHT I SHOULD LET YOU SLEEP IN, CONSIDERING THE SITUATION."

 _situation? what situation?_

Then it all came flooding back.

Nauseous, Sans gripped the counter. His breathing suddenly became heavy. That _fucking human_. She'd practically breezed past them yesterday, and now she was walking around somewhere. _she nearly killed both of us._ The memory of her swinging her sword at him entered his mind, and he shuddered.

"BROTHER, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?" There was concern in Papyrus's voice.

Sans pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and made his breathing steady. "yeah, I'm fine. how are you holding up?"

"I'M DOING WELL. NOTHING IS DAMAGED, EXCEPT FOR MY DIGNITY." Papyrus paused. "I RECENTLY TALKED TO UNDYNE. APPARENTLY, SOMEONE SPOTTED THE HUMAN IN WATERFALL."

"is that so?" Sans could feel pressure building behind his left eye. _I should pay her a visit._

Papyrus crossed his arms. "SANS, YOU ARE NOT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE UNTIL THE HUMAN HAS BEEN DEALT WITH."

 _oh, fuck no._ Normally, Sans would be happy to hear the words "don't leave the house" from Papyrus, but not this time. "why the hell not?"

Papyrus glared at him. "YOU ARE WEAK. YOU WOULD NOT STAND A CHANCE AGAINST HER. SHE EASILY DEFEATED YOU YESTERDAY!"

 _here we go again._ Sans glowered at Papyrus. "yeah. she kicked the snot out of both of us. how come _you_ get a free pass?"

Papyrus held up fingers. "IT TOOK HER ABOUT FIVE MINUTES TO DEFEAT ME. FOR YOU, IT TOOK HER LESS THAN TWO. I COUNTED."

Sans gritted his teeth in frustration.

"BESIDES," Papyrus continued. "I WASN'T KNOCKED SILLY LIKE YOU WERE."

Sans snorted in disbelief. "yeah? you were stuck upside down in a pile of snow for two minutes. how come _I'm_ the one that was 'knocked silly'?"

"WHEN SHE LEFT, YOU LOOKED LOVESTRUCK," Papyrus responded in a matter-of-fact tone.

Sans narrowed his eyes. _what?_ When did that happen? "no, I didn't."

"YES, YOU DID! YOU HAD A LARGE, GOOFY GRIN ON YOUR FACE."

He smirked. "um, bro, don't know if you noticed, but we're skeletons. _we're always grinning."_

Papyrus wasn't convinced. "BROTHER, YOU MUST PROMISE ME THAT YOU WON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE TODAY."

Sans could put up with a lot. He wasn't willing to put up with this. "no, pap. I have work today." _wow. can't believe I'm using work as an excuse. how the mighty hath fallen._

"I ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT WITH UNDYNE. SHE SAID YOU CAN HAVE THE DAY OFF."

Sans grimaced. _you gotta be fucking kidding me._ Why did he have to get a vacation today, of all days? "yeah, well…"

Papyrus didn't budge.

 _he's not gonna let this go, is he?_ "okay, okay. I won't take one step through that doorway."

"YOU NEVER DO. YOU ALWAYS TELEPORT." Papyrus's glare was unrelenting. "THAT TRICK WON'T WORK THIS TIME, _SANS_."

 _it was worth a shot_. Sans threw up his hands. " **okay**. I'll stay in the house."

"YOU PROMISE."

"I promise."

Papyrus glared at him for a few more seconds. At last, he eased up. "GOOD. I'M LEAVING TO TRAIN IN THE FOREST."

"right." Sans wasn't surprised; Papyrus liked to keep busy. "you've been doing a lot of that lately."

"YES." Papyrus wore a thoughtful expression. "WHAT THE HUMAN SAID BEFORE SHE LEFT… IT'S BEEN BOTHERING ME. I THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE HAD A POINT."

Sans scoffed. "really? you mean that stuff about restraint?" _and also about alternate selves, but I'm not gonna think about that._ "bro, she was just taunting us. don't sweat it."

Papyrus looked unsure. "PERHAPS. BUT I'M GOING TO PRACTICE SOME TECHNIQUES, JUST TO BE SURE." He exited the kitchen and walked to the door. "I SHOULD BE BACK IN ABOUT AN HOUR. I'LL SEE YOU THEN."

"okay." Sans leaned on the kitchen archway. "see you later, then."

Papyrus opened the door. "SEE YOU LATER." He paused. "TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, SANS."

The words sent a small jolt throughout his body. "uh, yeah. you too, pap."

Papyrus closed the door behind him.

Sans stood there, absorbing the quiet atmosphere. Slowly, he exhaled. _these past few days have been a fucking mess._ And it was all thanks to the human. _things were bad enough before she came here._ Now, Papyrus wouldn't even let him outside. _well. I made a promise._ And Sans almost never broke a promise.

He teleported to his room and waited.

The seconds crawled by.

 _well,_ he thought, once a minute had passed, _I think I've "stayed" long enough._ He started looking for paper. Papyrus was going to be pissed when he came back and saw him gone. _then again, pap's always mad at me about_ _ **something**_ _._

He found a relatively blank sheet of paper. _that'll do._ He pressed the paper against the wall, pulled a pen from his jacket pocket, and started writing. _I can't just sit around here, not in this case. technically speaking, I'm a member of the Royal Guard. that means it's my job to kill the humans that fall down here_. Sans could slack off on plenty of things, but this was something he couldn't ignore.

Sans held the letter out in front of him and examined his handiwork.

 _hey bro,_

 _kept my promise; stayed for a minute_

 _should be back by tonight._

 _don't worry about it._

 _sans_

That would do. Sans traveled back to the kitchen and set the note on one of the countertops, where he was sure Papyrus would see it. Then he grabbed his bag of chips out of the fridge, checked to make sure his special notebook was in his jacket pocket, and took the nearest shortcut to his sentry station in Waterfall.

He stole a moment to eat his breakfast. He couldn't believe what a dutiful sentry he was being; it was a fucking miracle. _hey, a job's a job, right? gotta make money somehow._

Yeah, that wasn't the only reason he was doing this.

 _she completely fucking humiliated me._ He had in no way been prepared for it. He thought he'd understood the nature of her attacks after watching her face Papyrus. _I got cocky. that was a mistake._ Because of that, he hadn't taken her attacks seriously, and hadn't noticed her charging up that final strike.

He remembered her face as she held the sword to his neck.

It made him feel… dizzy.

Sans looked down and realized that he was crushing the bag of chips in his fist. He loosened his grip. Too late: most of the chips were smashed into tiny pieces.

 _eh, shit._ He shrugged. _ah, well. they're still good like this._ He tipped the bag and poured the chips into his mouth. He munched on them contemplatively. He wasn't going to make the same mistake this time. He was sure that she had more tricks up her… well, "sleeve" wasn't the right word. She didn't have sleeves, just gloves and bare shoulders. _in that case, would it be "down her glove"? "under her hat"? up her pant…leg-?_

 _ **anyway**_ _._ He balled up the empty bag and shoved it into his jacket pocket. _things are gonna go differently._ He wouldn't underestimate her this time. He'd go all out.

Sans could feel his eye glowing.

It was time for a rematch.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

After a long and treacherous walk across creaky boardwalks and floating lily pads, Auvie found what she was looking for. A table overgrown with moss sat next to a small hole in the wall. There was a mighty stench rising from it.

 _Ugh_. Auvie's nose crinkled. _As if the smell of this place wasn't bad enough already._ She turned away from the table, but it did nothing to diminish the smell in her nostrils. _Blech._

It was a good thing she wasn't there for the cheese.

Dimensional fabric was pretty stable, most of the time. If it were manipulated in any way, it would correct itself very quickly; it was something Auvie relied on in many of her techniques. However, almost every dimension had at least one "fold" in it: a place where the fabric bent in a particular way. This was also called a "focal point," and it was the best spot to travel through multiple dimensions from.

Back in the other dimension, it had taken about two months to discover the focal point and find a way to transfer Auvie over. Partly because the Buffer Zone between dimensions was so thin; it was difficult coming up with a solution that wouldn't have repercussions. The other part was actually finding it, which only posed a challenge until Auvie found out that she could actually _sense_ focal points.

She walked over into the adjoining room and tested the fabric around her. _Yup. This is the place._ Good. It would take her some time to figure out the specifics, but she bet she could find a way out of this dimension in about a week, tops.

She crossed over.

The Buffer Zone seemed the way it should have been; there was energy and tension here, due to the fold, but nothing out of the ordinary.

She reemerged, only to feel searing pain in her feet. She cried out and jumped away.

There was a glowing orange harpoon where she had been standing just a few seconds ago.

 _What the-_

Auvie had to jump out of the way to avoid another harpoon fly past her. She looked in the direction that they were thrown from.

At the end of the tunnel was a shadowy figure.

Auvie's stomach rolled over.

 _Undyne._

For a moment, the figure seemed to silently inspect her. Then a harpoon manifested itself in her armored glove.

Auvie sprinted as fast as she could in the other direction.

 _Dammit, that was_ _ **stupid**_ _of me_ , Auvie thought as she narrowly dodged the harpoons being thrown at her. Of course Undyne would be on patrol; she had done the same in the other dimension, as well. _I'm going to have to find some way to lose her._ Auvie had no idea how, because Undyne probably knew Waterfall like the back of her hand, but-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a harpoon whizzing past her face.

 _Right. Don't think, just run._

She maneuvered towards the boardwalks from whence she came.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Finding the opportunity to battle the human was a little more difficult than Sans had considered. Mainly because he needed a good location to confront her in; if he tried to attack her in a public place, his powers could be seen by someone. Plus, he doubted Undyne would easily give up pursuit of the human, and he didn't want to be interrupted by her.

Luckily, he'd found a way to deal with both of these issues.

Sans scraped some dirt off of a nearby plaque with the tip of his finger. The words glowed underneath his touch. This was the Hall of History: Undyne would never attack the human here. On top of that, not many monsters visited it, and nobody could see into it from outside. The cave was soundproofed by vegetation.

In other words, it was perfect.

There was a flat stone near his foot. He picked it up and threw it across the surface of the water. It skipped twice, then sunk. _at least, it'll be perfect if the human actually comes through here_. He frowned. There was the chance that she could go around the hall, especially with that ability of hers. But Sans was willing to take that chance.

The roots obscuring the entrance to the hall shifted.

Sans jerked back.

They parted, and two monsters entered.

He stifled a growl. _that sign at the front should have kept them out. crap_. If these two stuck around, they would ruin _everything_.

It was time to bring out his arsenal.

Sans plastered a grin on his face as the two monsters approached him. "heya. didn't see the sign?"

One of the monsters, a buff seahorse with scars across his body, huffed. "You're kidding, right? That's one of the oldest tricks in the book ;( " His eyelid twitched at the end of the sentence.

The second monster, who Sans recognized as Woshua, looked anxious. "Dude, this isn't worth it. That's Sans."

"So what? He a tough guy? Nobody's tougher than me ;( " The buff seahorse crossed his arms.

Woshua's face scrunched up. "Well, no, but-"

The buff seahorse didn't wait for him to finish. He advanced forward, looming over Sans. "Give us your money and we won't hurt you ;( "

It took all of Sans's might not to laugh in his face. _wow. super original, pal._ He shrugged. "sorry, don't got anything on me."

The seahorse's brow furrowed.

Woshua danced around in place. "Aaron, let's _go_. I already have some money anyway."

Aaron held up a hand. "Dude, shut up ;( " He faced Sans. "Like hell you don't have anything on you. Cough up the cash, or I'll smash your face in ;( " He shoved him.

Sans cradled his shoulder with a wince. _piece of shit. oughta make him pay for that._ "it's true. don't have any cash on me. but, uh…" He leaned against the wall. "maybe I can give you something else." He grinned and wiggled the ridges above his eyes.

Aaron seemed confused. "What, you got something other than cash on you? Let's see it ;( "

"well, it's not so much an object as an… activity." Sans slid his coat off of one of his shoulders.

Aaron yanked Sans up by his shirt and glared threateningly into his sockets. "Is it as fun as roughing you up? 'Cuz that's what I'll do if you don't give me something ;( "

 _hot damn, this guy's obtuse. gonna need the big guns_. Sans put a hand on the seahorse's chest. "yeah, you **would** rough me up, wouldn't you," he murmured. He stuck his long red tongue out and waggled it suggestively.

He waited for it to click.

It finally did.

Aaron dropped him like a sack of potatoes, an expression of horror upon his face. "Oh, no. No, no, no ;( "

Woshua had been facing away from them. They turned back. "Told you it wasn't worth it. Come on, let's get out of here."

"awww. you sure? if you stick around, I'll make it worth your while." Sans pulled a licorice lollipop out of his coat. He gave it slow, seductive licks.

Aaron shivered. "Dude, I don't need this. I've got a boyfriend already ;( "

"hey, cool. ring him up." Sans winked. "we can make it a **party**."

"I have to go ;( " Aaron bounced away as fast as he could, bursting through the curtain of roots.

Woshua trailed after him. "You are **revolting** ," they shot back at Sans.

Sans watched them go, his grin turning into a scowl. _yeah, beat it, losers_. He bit off the head of the lollipop and threw the stick into the water, where it floated. That had taken _way_ too long. He was lucky that the human hadn't come while they were talking; he didn't think he could have handled it. _actually, I probably could've. it just would've been… weird._

If he had used his powers, he could've scared the two of them off right away, or worse. God, he had wanted to so badly.

 _to hell with you, lady_ , he thought. The candy shattered between his teeth. _implying I'm weak because I have no "restraint."_

He had fucking tons of it.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie wasn't sure how long she could keep this up.

Harpoons were flying everywhere. It was taking all that she had to keep out of their path; weaving in and out of the fabric, jumping over gaps, swinging her sword to deflect the ones that got too close.

 _It's only a matter of time before one of them hits their mark._

Just ahead of her, the boardwalk ended. There was an open stretch of water. It was the bit just before that tunnel she had passed through earlier. _It's pretty dark in there_ , she thought. _Maybe I can hide in the shadows, and she'll walk past me._

It wasn't the greatest plan, but it was worth a shot.

Auvie propelled herself forward and held her sword out, molding the fabric into something she could run across. She ducked as far down as she could. Water splashed into her face as the harpoons hit the glassy surface.

Finally, her feet met wood again and she dove into the tunnel.

As soon as she was inside, she dropped next to the wall by the opening. She quieted her breathing as much as she possibly could. Her lungs were shriveling up inside her body. She tried taking deep breaths through her nose; it helped a little.

She waited.

And waited.

And waited.

 _Is she waiting for me to exit the tunnel, or something?_

More waiting.

 _I don't think she's actually going to come in here_. Auvie sighed in relief, relaxing against the wall. Her sword dissipated. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence.

"sup."

She nearly hit her head on the wall. She leapt to her feet.

Just a short distance from her, two red pinpricks of light were slowly growing in intensity. Their glow was reflected off of a craggy crescent residing just underneath.

Sans was standing there, hands in his pockets.

Auvie mentally kicked herself. _Stupid._ She'd let her guard down. He could have killed her. "Hi."

He snorted. "wow. you don't look too happy to see me." He glanced off to the side. "not that I can blame ya, considering what's about to happen."

"Yeah?" She really wasn't in the mood for this.

His grin expanded. "yeah. you and I have some unfinished business."

 _Maybe I should just try reasoning with him._ She inhaled deeply. "Look. I really don't want to fight you. Or anyone."

"that's a crying shame," he replied, his hand beginning to shimmer.

Auvie bit her lip. _What can I say to convince him not to attack me?_ A thought occurred to her. "Is this about my soul? Is that why you want to fight?"

He tilted his hand back and forth. "kinda. but it's also because the sight of you **pisses me off**." He summoned a glowing bone. It hovered above his hand.

Auvie raised an eyebrow. _Wow. Okay._ She nodded. "I… can't exactly help with that second one, but you should know that you can't actually take my soul."

"try me." Sans's left eye gleamed.

"No, really. My soul doesn't persist after death - I'm not like the humans from this dimension. You won't get anything from killing me." It was true. She, Sans, and Papyrus had discovered it soon after she ended up there. It was the main reason they had taken her in so quickly; her lack of an obtainable soul negated any benefits to capturing her.

The bone disappeared. Sans gave her a dubious look. "what?"

She gestured to herself. "Go ahead, try lifting me up with your magic. You won't see a heart." _Actually, wait, this might not be the best idea._ Just because her soul didn't manifest in the same way didn't mean magic couldn't hurt her. Still, he needed to see that she wasn't worth the trouble. She held out her arms.

Sans didn't do anything at first. Then, tentatively, he raised his hand, lifting her into the air.

She dangled in the air, red glow above her chest.

There was no heart.

Just like she'd said.

Sans had a meditative expression on his face. "huh."

"See?" It was working. "There's no reason to kill-"

Her words were interrupted by a sudden jolt and the sensation of water filling her lungs.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

 _wow. that was fast._

She really had let her guard down.

Sans gazed at the pond, its surface disturbed by her entering it. He could see bubbles rising to the top.

 _what she said about not taking her soul, though… that's pretty interesting._ He pulled out his notebook and began writing in it. "lady's… soul… doesn't… persist… after… death. not… attainable," he muttered as he wrote. He doubted anything would happen to warrant him writing that, but better safe than sorry, right?

The hood of his coat suddenly flipped over his head.

A voice came from behind him. " **Rude**."

He quickly teleported a short distance away and pulled the hood off, chuckling.

He hadn't actually thought it would be that easy.

She was a mess. Her clothes and hair were soaking wet, there was algae draped over her hat, and Sans could see little spots of green moss clinging to every part of her.

She was also giving him the deadliest glare he'd seen so far.

 _yeesh_. He snickered. "well, I don't know what you were expecting. you gave me an opening, and I took it."

She didn't say anything. Her clothes were dripping.

Sans gave a dismissive shrug. "lady, I might not be able to take your soul, but you're a human. as far as I'm concerned, **that makes you my enemy**." His hand was ablaze. He summoned his bones.

They jutted out from beneath her.

She disappeared.

Quickly, he teleported away.

She reappeared where he had been standing, sword at the ready.

He shook his head. "c'mon. ambushing me from behind? _really_?" He sent out another attack.

She disappeared again.

He surveyed his surroundings. Back when she had been fighting Papyrus, he'd noticed that she was visible shortly before she reemerged from wherever she was. It was subtle, like she was coming out of fog, but he could spot it.

He looked around more. She was right…

There.

The bones shot out of the walls. She almost tripped trying to avoid them. One of them caught her ankle. She yelped and stumbled.

Sans put his hands inside his pockets. "earlier, I held back because my brother was there. but he's not here now, is he?" He winked at her. "you gonna fight back? it'd give me more of a challenge."

She gave no response. Silently, she raised her sword.

Sans grinned. "cool. let's see you dodge _**this**_."

He brought out the Blasters.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie honestly didn't know what to do.

He really wasn't holding back.

Jump, jump, step, cross. She swerved around the bones. Her sweat mixed with the moss clinging to her face. She swung her sword at him.

He easily moved out of the way, his eye glimmering. He hurled her towards one of the walls.

She crossed over and righted herself before she could slam into it.

They had been fighting for several minutes now. He'd managed to nick her a few times. Every time he did, it felt like poison was spreading through her body. It made her feel weary; her limbs ached.

But she had to keep moving, no matter what.

She crouched just in time to avoid a blast from one of those skull things. She twisted and turned her way between the bones that popped out of the ground.

 _Where is he?_

"looking for me?"

The bones came from everywhere.

She crossed over into the clearest space she could find. _He has to be here-_

A bone sunk into her side.

She saw only red.

She screamed in agony and fell to her knees. Tears leaked out of her eyes.

 _I'm dead._

She had stopped moving. He was going to kill her.

 _No_ , she thought, rising to her feet. Her legs quaked underneath her. _I'm not going to let him_. She summoned her sword; it had vanished due to her lack of focus. She tried to spot Sans.

There he was, on the other end of the tunnel.

She charged forward, all of the muscles in her body crying out with pain.

Belatedly, she noticed that most of the bones were gone; the few that were there were wavering and unstable. They didn't get anywhere near her.

She looked at him.

He was shaking.

 _Damn it._ He wasn't trying to kill her right now, but she wasn't sure she could slow down at this point. _Fine. I'll knock him into the water. See how_ _ **he**_ _likes it._ She aimed her swing accordingly.

She miscalculated.

The energy from her sword caught him in the center of his ribcage. He was flung into one of the tunnel walls.

 _Crack_.

There was an unearthly silence.

He landed on his feet.

He just stood there.

Then the shaking returned tenfold.

"heh," he said, voice quavering. "y-you actually got me."

He slumped to the ground.

Yellow liquid oozed from his mouth and started spreading across his shirt.

Auvie clamped her hands over her mouth. _Shit._ "Shit, shit, shit, I- I'm so sorry, I-" Her voice wouldn't work properly. She ran over to him. "Do- do you have anything? Is there some food or-"

He snorted. The yellow liquid spattered from his mouth. "th-the fuck? y-you just won and…" He wheezed.

Trying to think quickly, she knelt beside him and started searching through his pockets. A notebook, a pen, an empty bag of chips… _None of this was_ _ **helpful right now**_ _._ "Shit," she hissed.

"heh. y-you're getting _fresh._ " A bony hand tried to push her away. It gave up, resting on her collarbone.

The fingertips were turning into dust.

Auvie wanted to beat her own head into the wall. _Dammit, Auvie, think! Do something!_ She felt so _useless_.

"h-hey."

She turned her face to look at him.

His face was contorted into a grimace. The lights in his eyes were growing dimmer and dimmer. He coughed. "i-if y-you see papyrus, c-could you t-tell h-him…"

He didn't finish his sentence. His head drooped, and the lights in his eyes went out.

He turned to dust.

Auvie stared in shock.

He was _gone_.

And it was all her fault.

She felt numb. She looked at her hands.

They were covered in his dust.

Tears slid down her face. _I didn't mean to do it._ She had only wanted to defend herself; she didn't mean to _kill_ anyone.

The items she had taken from his coat were still there. Slowly, hands shaking, she picked up the notebook. It looked almost exactly like the one the other Sans had.

She opened it.

 _book of puns_ , it said. _property of sans_.

She dropped the book.

It fell to the ground, dust billowing out from underneath it.

 _I have to leave_ , she thought. _Somebody's going to come in here eventually_.

She told her legs to stand, but they didn't listen.

She struck the wall with her fist.

 _Fuck_.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to, I'm so sor

sor sor sor sor sor sor sor

s͋oͪr̈́ s̘o̾r͚ s͞o̞r̘ s᷅o̺r͐ s̿o̍r̚ s̝o̴ȓ s᷀o͢r̥

sͮ o ᷊ r̝ ṡ õ r̳s͐ o̮ r̆ s͔ ö́ rͯ s͒ o̞ r̩ s͖ o̩ r͠ s̋ o̰ ȑ

sorry

* * *

Auvie opened her eyes.

She was standing on the boardwalk. Green light emanated from a couple of nearby mushrooms.

 _Did I black out?_ She didn't feel as tired as she used to. A little winded, maybe, but not the level of exhausted she had felt after…

She looked down at her gloves.

There was no trace of dust on them.

 _What? How did I get rid of it?_

An orange harpoon flew past her and buried itself in the boardwalk.

Auvie jumped out of her skin.

 _Undyne's here?!_

She started running.

As she ran, dodging and leaping to avoid the harpoons, she tried to unscramble her brain. _It's so easy to dodge these things_ , she thought. _I feel like I should be lying facedown on the boardwalk by now. I was_ _ **spent**_ _. Hell, how did I even get back here? How did I encounter Undyne again?_

Why couldn't she remember these things?

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

As much as he hated admitting it, Sans was nervous.

 _what's taking her so damn long?_ He glanced toward the veil of roots that covered the entrance to the boardwalk. He could hear the commotion outside: the sound of Undyne's harpoons hitting the water, feet running across wood. _just get here already, dammit_. He'd been concerned about her arriving too early; he didn't expect to be dealing with the opposite problem.

His hands were shaking. He hid them inside of his coat pockets. _calm the fuck down_ , he told himself. _your nerves can't be shot before the fight's even started._

The human burst through the layer of roots.

Sans teleported to the other end of the tunnel before he even realized what had happened. _shit, I didn't expect her to enter so_ _ **violently**_ _._

Her eyes scanned the darkness. She looked really on edge.

He held perfectly still.

She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. Her sword was still in her hand.

 _looks like she didn't see me._ He smirked. He waited a few seconds, then teleported fairly close to her. "sup."

She pushed off of the wall and held her sword up, eyes wide.

He waited for her to spot him.

Her eyes found him. Her sword fell. "Sans?" It was practically a whisper.

He snorted. "wow. you don't look…" He trailed off.

Whatever reaction he had expected from her, it wasn't this. Her expression was a mixture of shock and… he didn't know what else. Her skin was as white as a sheet. She stumbled back a few steps. "How…" She put a hand on the wall. Her mouth moved, but no words came out.

 _uh, okay. that wasn't the reaction I expected._ Sans pulled his hands out of his pockets. "how did I get here? wasn't hard. been here a million times."

She just stood there, looking at the ground in silence.

He didn't think she would be this quiet. "what's _your_ deal?"

She didn't immediately reply. Eventually, she straightened up. "Nothing!" Her voice came out as a squeak. She cleared her throat. "I'm just… _really_ happy to see you."

The words hit Sans like a bludgeon.

 _what the fuck._

"happy? _are you-_ " Sans _'_ s brain reeled. Why the hell would she be happy to see him? He was about to _kill her_.

 _oh, wait, she's being sarcastic. duh._ Sans looked up at her.

No, she didn't look sarcastic.

This was really fucking weird.

He tried to think of a retort. "yeah, well. I'm… happy to see you too," he replied, his hand beginning to glow. "I've been looking forward to wrecking your face all fucking-" He stopped.

She was staring at him with an expression Sans couldn't describe

A strange, high-pitched whining noise was coming from her throat.

This was getting ridiculous. His hand dropped. "the **fuck** is wrong with you?"

She stopped.

"I came here to kill you and take your soul." His eye glowed. "the least you could do is act like a _normal fucking person_." He summoned his bones. "you ready or what?"

The human looked back and forth between his attack and him.

"well?" He just wanted to get this over with.

"Nope."

 _what?_

Her sword disappeared. "Nope. Nu-uh."

 _is she fucking kidding me right now?_ He cracked a grin. "lady, I'm a pretty big fan of jokes myself, but-"

She was walking past him now. "Fuuuuck this."

 _don't you dare._ He reached out with his magic. " **where do you think you're** -"

There was nothing to grab.

He looked around.

She was walking towards the other exit.

 _how the-_ "get the hell back here! your soul is _mine_!" He sent up a wall of bones.

She just used her trick to get past them. "Can't. My soul doesn't exist after death. You wrote it. In your… thing." Her words were oddly slurred.

Sans squinted at her. " _what_? hey-"

She had reached the exit. Her legs were wobbling. "You take care now. Have a swellllllllldibulous life." She moved past the roots.

Sans teleported over and lunged out of the curtain, trying to grab her.

She was already gone.

Sans stared down the caverns.

What the everloving _**fuck**_ just happened?

He didn't think she would just _leave_. _why didn't I stop her?_ He felt annoyed with himself. _dammit, I should have just killed her on the spot. I had every opportunity to._ He thought back to what she said. _her soul doesn't exist after death?_ That was a pretty boldfaced lie.

 _she said I wrote it in my "thing." did she mean my notebook?_ His notebook wasn't ordinary; it defied some of the space-time bullshit that everything else went through. _if I found out that her soul didn't stay after death and wrote about it, then a reset happened…_

His skull furrowed. _wait, if a reset happened, how would she even remember?_ Not even Sans remembered the resets – it was sheer dumb luck that he even knew about them. _is she… immune to them, or something?_

This line of thought was going nowhere. Sans reached into his coat pocket, pulled out his notebook, and flipped to the most recent page.

Well. Looks like she wasn't lying; his writing was right there. _then again, there's a chance that she tricked me somehow._ His face twisted. _plus, just because I won't get a soul out of killing her doesn't mean I won't enjoy it_. He closed the book.

A puff of powder erupted from the book's cover.

 _that's weird. when did that get there?_

In fact, now that he looked closer, the whole book was coated in it.

Cautiously, he scraped a finger across the book and held up the powder, inspecting it closely.

The texture… had an eerie familiarity to it.

A chill crept down his spine.

 _is that…_

Dust.

His heart plummeted.

"Sans."

He nearly dropped the book. He juggled it for a few seconds before tucking it back in his pocket.

Undyne was walking up to him, fully decked out in soot-black armor. A broken red heart glowed on her chest.

 _it's just undyne._ Sans struck a casual pose. "hey, undies. sup?"

Undyne didn't respond to the unflattering nickname. "Papyrus told me you would be staying inside today." Her voice was low and gravelly.

 _that's right, he did._ Sans crossed his legs. "had a change of heart. duty to the kingdom, and all that." _pap doesn't control my life._

Undyne looked at him for a few more seconds. It was impossible to see her face underneath all of that armor. Gradually, she turned away. "Did you see the human come through here?

"yeah." Sans pointed. "she went that way. she seemed, uh, disoriented." That was an understatement.

"Sans, get to your station. She might try to escape back to Snowdin. Alert me if she does." Her tone had become authoritative.

Sans cringed. He didn't dare cross her when she used that tone with him. "yes, boss."

Undyne walked away, each step sounding with a _clink_.

Sans watched her disappear into the darkness. _the human's gonna have a difficult time now. undies_ _ **never**_ _gives up._

He remembered the dust-covered notebook in his pocket and shuddered.

Maybe he should be more worried for Undyne.

His convulsions threatened to start up again.

He flicked the side of his skull. _keep it together, sans._ He took a shortcut back to his sentry station.

Once he was there, he sat on the stool with a sigh. That had been a huge fucking waste of time. _I could've stayed in bed today._ But no, he'd _had_ to seek revenge. And now, if he went back to his house, Papyrus would be there. _don't wanna deal with a lecture on top of all this other crap_ , he thought. He'd work today, get a nap in, and then listen to it later tonight, after dinner.

Sans found his thoughts wandering back to the human. He wasn't planning to face her any time soon, not after seeing… that. He had no idea who the dust belonged to, and he didn't want to know. Instead, he recalled the things she'd said that _hadn't_ freaked him out. Some of them were pretty ridiculous _. is "swelldibulous" even a word?_ He didn't think it was. Maybe it was a dialect thing.

A particular phrase echoed in his mind.

 _I'm just…_ _ **really**_ _happy to see you._

Hearing that had made Sans oddly feverish.

 _did she actually mean that?_

Why would she be happy to see him?


	3. Chapter 3: Benching the Issue

**Author's Note:**

This chapter features a lot less action than the other two! Hope that's okay.

Also, a flashback within a flashback? _Blasphemy._

(I marked it using underlined Os. Hope it works!)

Stuff gets scary near the end. Prepare your butts and tear ducts.

Have a good time!

* * *

 _The first thing that Auvie felt upon waking was the scratchiness of the blanket._

 _She sat up and took off her earmuffs, the cushions underneath her jangling as she did so. It had been three weeks since she first met the skelebros. They had been kind enough to let her stay at their place while she figured out what she was going to do. She hadn't told them yet that she wasn't even from this dimension; they'd never asked, and she wasn't sure that they would believe her, anyway._

 _She couldn't hear any clattering from the kitchen._ Papyrus must be out and about, _she thought._ _He was probably working on his puzzles._

 _"hey."_

 _Auvie jumped about a foot in the air._

 _A short, jovial skeleton wearing a blue jacket was standing by the stairs. His sockets were amused crescents._

Sheesh, it's just Sans. _Sans was always showing up out of nowhere. Auvie gave a weak smile. "Hi."_

 _He winked at her. "sorry, didn't mean to startle ya. sleep well?"_

 _"Yeah." Auvie rubbed her eyes. "These earmuffs really help."_

 _"nice. mind if i watch some tv?"_

 _"Not at all." Auvie scooted over, pulling the blanket with her._ Feels weird that he's even asking; this is **his** house.

 _"thanks." He walked over and sat on the couch. He pulled out the remote from in between the cushions and turned the TV on._

 _Mettaton's voice erupted from the television. "HELLO, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES, AND WELCOME TO 'VOICES OF THE UNDERGROUND'! TODAY, WE'LL BE TALKING TO…" Colorful images flashed on the screen._

 _Auvie felt weird being in pajamas_ _around the skeletons. They didn't seem to mind, but… she somehow felt exposed._ It's funny. These pajamas actually cover up **more** than my usual clothes. _Maybe it was just the principle of it._

 _Auvie gave Sans a sidelong glance. She still didn't know what to think about him. Ever since she'd shown up in the Underground, she felt like he'd been watching her. Most of the time, he seemed pretty easygoing, always making jokes and messing around, but… there were moments._

 **ooooo**

"FOLLOW ME, HUMAN!" Papyrus spun around with a flourish. "I WILL LEAD THE WAY TO OUR AWESOME AND TOTALLY COOL ABODE!" An uncertain look crossed his face. "ABODE MEANS HOUSE, RIGHT?"

"i'm not sure," Sans replied. "but **abode** it does."

"NYEH!" Papyrus stomped ahead.

Auvie followed behind him at a slower pace, snickering at the pun. This day was turning out a lot different than she was expecting.

"man." Sans was walking beside her. "good thing you weren't aiming anywhere with that sword, huh?"

Auvie laughed nervously. "Definitely."

"yeah." Sans's sockets suddenly grew dark. " **Someone could have gotten hurt** **.** "

Auvie's heart stopped working.

 **ooooo**

 _Auvie suppressed a shudder. She wasn't sure that Sans even liked her all that much. He hadn't been_ _ **rude**_ _to her, per se, but these little things would happen. Whenever she was alone with Papyrus, he'd suddenly be there. If she ever picked up a knife, like to chop salad or anything like that, he'd appear, cracking some kind of pun. It really didn't help that he seemed to pop in and out of thin air, without warning._

 _Those things hadn't been occurring as much, however. He seemed to have been warming up to her lately._

I hope.

 _"by the way…"_

 _Auvie was pulled out of her thoughts. "Huh?"_

 _"have you come up with any plans yet?" Sans's eyes were still fixed on the television. "you know, for what you want to do."_

That question came out of nowhere. _Auvie shook her head. "I haven't thought of_

* * *

 _Auvie pulled off her earmuffs._

Wait, what?

 _"hey."_

 _Auvie jumped about a foot in the air. "Um, hi?"_

 _Sans winked. "sorry, didn't mean to startle ya. sleep well?"_

 _"Yes," Auvie slowly replied. Something felt off to her._

 _"nice. mind if i watch some tv?"_

 _"Yes." Auvie paused. "I mean, no. Go… go ahead." She scooted over. Why did this feel so familiar to her?_

 _"thanks." Sans sat down and turned on the TV._

 _"HELLO, BEAUTIES AND GENTLEBEAUTIES, AND..."_

 _Auvie was getting a very strong sense of déjà vu._ Should I say something? _"Uh, Sans?"_

 _"sup?" Sans didn't move his eyes._

 _"Do you feel… does any of this feel like it's happened before?"_

 _Sans looked over at her. "what do you mean?"_

What **did** she mean? _"I don't_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

 _This was beginning to freak her out._

What the hell is happening?

 _"hey."_

 _Auvie looked over to where Sans was standing. "Hi… Sans."_

 _Sans tilted his head. "somethin' bothering you? you look distressed."_

Should I tell him the truth? _Might as well. The worst case scenario was that he'd think she was joking. "I feel like things have been repeating themselves."_

 _"repeating? in what sense?"_

 _"In the literal sense. The same situation has been repeating itself."_

 _"repeating? in what sense?"_

 _Auvie tensed._

 _Sans chuckled. "sorry. couldn't resist." He looked at her, and his grin slipped the slightest amount. "okay. that was… badly_ _ **timed**_ _. tell me what_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

 _Her fear was growing._

 _"hey."_

 _"Sans," she said, voice tremulous. "Did you know that this is the fourth time we've started this conversation?"_

 _Sans stared at her for a few seconds. "really?" Sans looked away. "that's… interesting."_

 _Auvie was feeling desperate. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"_

 _"maybe." Sans was quiet._

 _Auvie fidgeted impatiently._ He better not get cut off again.

 _Finally, he spoke. "it's because you're a stupid doodoo butt."_

 _Auvie stared at him incredulously._ What the **hell** does that have to do with

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

 _She was really getting tired of this._

 _"hey."_

 _She turned to Sans before he could say anything. "Sans, the next minute or so has happened at least four times already."_

 _Sans shrugged. "okay." He sat on the arm of the sofa._

 _Auvie squeezed the earmuffs. "I'm not joking."_

 _"i know. it's written all over your face." He looked at her. "did i say anything weird those past few times?"_

How did he-? _"You said that it was all because I was a 'stupid doodoo butt,' for some reason."_

 _"how rude." The bone around Sans's sockets crinkled. "that's not at all why this keeps happening."_

 _"And why is that?" Auvie was quickly running out of patience._

 _He winked at her. "it's because you're the legendary fartmaster, of course."_

 _Auvie was not amused._

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

Damn. **It.**

 _She turned to face him. "Sans, why do things keep repeating themselves, and why the_ _ **hell**_ _do you call me names whenever I bring it up?"_

 _Sans looked mildly surprised. "wow. you look pissed. what names have i been calling you?"_

 _"'Doodoo butt' and 'fartmaster', respectively."_

 _"gross." Sans paused. "those are my secret codewords."_

 _Auvie started. "Wait, there was a reason you told me-?"_ This guy has secret codewords? **Why?**

 _Sans nodded. "yeah. it means someone's been resetting."_

 _"Oh."_

 _A silence stretched out between them._

 _Sans glanced at her. "huh. kind of expected you to ask me what a reset is."_

 _Auvie sighed. "Sorry, it's just that things usually start over at this point. I didn't want you to get interrupted in the middle of your explanation."_

 _"that bad, huh?" He slid down onto the couch. "okay, then."_

 _Another long silence stretched out._

Nothing's happening. _"You know what, why don't you tell me anyway?"_

 _"all right. a reset is when a timeline reverts back to a previous point."_

 _Auvie's skin crawled. "That's a thing?"_

 _"not usually." Sans's eyes seemed far away. "but in this case_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

 _She was annoyed, but she was getting somewhere._

 _"hey."_

 _"Hey, Sans." She leaned forward. "Guess what? I'm the legendary fartmaster. Why don't you tell me why resets happen?"_

 _"whoa. okay." Sans stared at her for a few seconds before sitting down. "usually, they're caused by some kind of outside influence. something or someone with a lot of power."_

Wait, is this **my** fault? _"Am I the one resetting things?"_

 _Sans shrugged. "_ _ **are**_ _you? what research we've done indicates that it takes conscious effort to reset."_

 _"Oh. That's… not me, then."_

 _There was a long silence._

 _Auvie had a sinking feeling in her gut. "Do they ever stop?"_

 _Sans looked disturbed. "w_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

 _She was unsettled to the core._

 _"hey."_

 _Auvie turned to_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

What? I didn't even get the chance to

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs._

How many times

* * *

 _Auvie took off her_

* * *

 _Auvie took_

* * *

 _Auvie_

* * *

 _Auvie_

* * *

 _Auvie took off her earmuffs and threw them at the TV._

 _Glass shattered as they lodged themselves in the screen._

 _Auvie stared at the television._ Please don't reset, _she thought. She didn't think she could handle it._

 _It didn't reset._

 _Auvie breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back on the couch._

 _"hey, now." Sans sounded irritated. "no need to get violent."_

 _Auvie buried her face in the blanket. "Do the resets ever stop? Please tell me."_

 _Silence. Then Auvie heard footsteps and a small jingle as Sans sat on the couch. "usually. it just takes a while. they tend to happen in bursts."_

 _"Okay." Auvie stayed where she was._

 _Several long minutes passed._

It's not resetting. _Auvie relaxed a little bit._ That means… _The TV was going to stay broken, wasn't it? She felt really embarrassed. "Sorry I busted your TV," Auvie muttered._

 _Sans patted her shoulder. "eh, no worries. undyne wrecks it all the time anyway."_

" _Yeah." Auvie took a deep breath. That had been… intense. "How do you_ _ **live**_ _with something like that?"_

 _His hand left her shoulder. "normally, they aren't as close together as they probably were for you. plus, most people don't remember it happening. at least, not all of it." She heard him shift slightly. "i'm guessing that you're an exception."_

 _They both sat in quiet contemplation for a while._

 _Sans stood up. "hey, come with me. i need to show you something."_

 _Slowly, Auvie emerged from the blanket. "Um, okay. Should I get dressed?"_

 _"nah. not unless you want to. we're taking a shortcut." Sans gestured toward the kitchen._

A shortcut? _Auvie stood up and put the blanket aside._

 _They walked through the archway and disappeared._

* * *

That was the only other time that Auvie had encountered resets.

 _I'd almost forgotten about them_ , she thought, running her fingers through the tips of her hair. She really hoped that she wouldn't get too many of them here. She had enough things to worry about.

The memory of the Sans from this dimension dying in front of her ran through her brain. _Nope._ She pushed it out of her brain. Having gained a lot of experience with dimensional travel, she'd developed a few tricks for dealing with bad memories and existential dread. _This is just like that time I gazed into the abyss and watched my arms melt off._ Her lower eyelid spasmed. _Diiiiidn't actually happen._

All she needed to do was find a quiet place to lie low for a few hours and distract herself from what she had just seen.

And get therapy. Someday.

 _ **Clank.**_

Auvie flinched as the sound of armored feet echoed throughout the cave. _Shit, shit,_ _shit_ _._ There was nowhere to hide; no walls, no shadows, no ledges she could crouch behind. _I could try and go back to that cave I stayed in last night._ But that was the direction the sound was coming from. _Maybe I could go back to that tunnel…?_ But what if she ran into Sans?

She looked at the dark water. _I might have to hide in there._ She didn't like the idea; she would probably get discovered immediately. _It's better than nothing, though. I've dilly-dallied too much already._ She prepared to jump in.

She froze.

What was that?

She took a few steps closer to the water.

The image of a boardwalk was being reflected on the water's surface, just to the left.

 _Is that real?_ If it were real, it would be just out of sight. She tried to lean past the wall blocking her view, but she couldn't see anything.

The footsteps were getting closer.

 _Don't think, just act._ Auvie steeled her nerves and crossed through the fabric.

Her feet made contact with the wooden planks.

 _Success._ Auvie felt a small thrill. She pressed herself against the wall and waited.

The clanking footsteps stopped. Then they kept starting and stopping again, in small increments.

She closed her eyes, her pulse pounding.

Eventually, the footsteps faded away, continuing on into the next chamber.

Auvie stepped away from the wall. _Whew._ Nothing like a run-in with Undyne to get your heart rate up. That much was true in any dimension.

She looked down at the boardwalk. _Where does this lead?_ She followed it.

She didn't have to walk very far.

 _Wow._

The boardwalk was connected to a small, round cavern. Its walls were coated in moss, and several green mushrooms hung from the ceiling, casting a glow over everything. There were glimpses of geodes in the places where the moss didn't grow; they provided their own faint, yellow light.

At the center of it all was a wooden bench.

Auvie was breathless with awe.

It was _perfect._

She wandered around, looking at the scene. _Holy_ _ **hell**_ _. How can a place like this exist in_ _ **this**_ _dimension?_ Honestly, it was the prettiest sight she had seen in a long time. _It feels really out of place._ She suspected the only reason it was in such good condition was because nobody knew about it. _Yup. I could imagine myself staying here for a_ _ **long**_ _time._

Then again, the bench looked well kept. _This cave might belong to someone_. She frowned. She didn't want a repeat of the incident from this morning.

It was the best option that she'd found so far, though. And it was exactly what she needed.

 _I'm not sure I can just leave this place._

She stood a while, squirming with indecision.

There weren't any signs saying who owned it, if anyone.

 _You know what, screw it._ Auvie sat down on the bench. It wasn't the comfiest thing she'd used as a seat, but it wasn't bad, either. _The one thing I can think of that would make this place better is, like, a million pillows._ But the moisture would probably ruin them, anyway. She leaned back. This was a _great_ distraction from the things that had been bothering her.

Like death.

Right in front of her eyes.

 _Welp. Shit._ Looks like it wouldn't be that easy. She swung her legs beneath the seat. She needed something that would keep her mind occupied.

Her foot hit something.

 _Whoops._ She looked under the bench to see what it was.

It was a book.

 _This is just too insanely convenient._ So many things were going right. She picked it up and looked at it.

 _Hell's Winter_ , written by Sarah Paige. The cover depicted a group of warmly clad people in a snowstorm.

 _Looks intriguing_ , Auvie thought. She flipped it over and read the blurb.

 _There used to be birds. Trees. A sky.  
_ _But the nuclear holocaust took away all of that.  
_ _Now, the world is trapped in a never-ending winter, and the remaining humans have formed into clans, constantly fighting each other for the heat to survive.  
_ _Denari Ferrari is a member of one such clan, and it's the day of her initiation into adulthood.  
_ _However, the ceremony is interrupted by a catastrophic event that could change her world forever.  
_ _Can she save the world?  
_ _And if not, can she at least avoid falling in love with a boy from one of the rival clans?_

Auvie raised an eyebrow. Dystopian post-apocalyptic fiction. _Not exactly what I had in mind in terms of distraction._ _Also, isn't a Ferrari a type of car?_ She snorted and opened the book.

There wasn't anything that suggested an owner, but there was a ripped piece of notebook paper right before the title page that looked like a bookmark. _If anyone comes by and tells me that this is their spot or their book, then I'll apologize and leave. Maybe I'll offer some form of help or compensation._ The situation was too good to just pass up.

 _This book might run a little too dark for my tastes, though_ , she thought.

Still, it was better than nothing.

She began to read it.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans rested his face on the sentry station desk.

 _this fucking sucks._

It had been a couple of hours since he had challenged the human to fight (and been rejected), and nothing had happened. Nobody had come through here; they didn't dare, when Undyne was on the hunt. And in any other set of circumstances, he'd feel ecstatic.

But he couldn't.

Fucking.

 _Sleep._

He was constantly on edge. He couldn't even close his sockets; every time he even came close to it, he saw the human running toward him with a terrifying look on her face. He didn't remember anything like that ever _happening_ , but apparently that wasn't enough to stop it appearing in his head.

 _this stupid shit's getting to me_ , he thought.

Orders from Undyne or not, he needed a break.

He stood up, yawning. His special spot was calling him. He'd forgotten his pillow this time, but he was a champion sleeper; he could fall asleep on anything _._ _most of the time. stupid human._ He entered the shortcut.

On the other side of it, he straightened his back. Man, was he tired. He couldn't wait to just lie down and forget-

He halted in his tracks, sweat breaking out in beads along his crown.

Of fucking course the human had taken his spot.

There she was, sitting on _his_ bench, reading… Sans squinted- yeah, _his_ book, acting like she owned the place. He'd spent so much effort keeping this place concealed; nobody else ever visited, he had used this place for _years_ , and yet she just waltzed in and took it. Unbelievable.

 _fucking piece of shitfuck dammit dammit_ _ **dammit**_ _._ What would he do _now_? He considered going back to his post, or back to his room in Snowdin. He'd probably have better luck in either of those places; he was _so_ done with the bullshit.

 _actually, you know what? no_. Anger burned inside him like a flame. This human had been bothering him too long. Humiliating him, refusing to fight him… possibly killing him in a different timeline, maybe BUT NOW. Now, he would have his revenge.

He couldn't fight her, though. That hadn't turned out well. And he couldn't alert Undyne to her position; that would mean losing his special spot.

A vicious grin spread across his face.

He was going to annoy the _shit_ out of her.

He walked over and plopped down on the bench with a _thud_. The bench shook with the force of it. "heya."

She didn't respond. Her eyes were still glued to the book.

 _is she ignoring me?_ That totally should have gotten her attention. Sans tried again. " **hey**."

That did it. She glanced up. "Oh, hi." Realization settled in; her eyes widened in alarm and dismay. "Ohhh _, hi._ "

He grinned and relaxed on the bench. "saw you sitting here. thought I'd stop by. whatcha readin'?" There was nothing more annoying than having someone interrupt your reading session; he knew this from experience.

"Um..." She looked at the cover. "It's called… _Hell's Winter_. It's a dystopian novel."

"yeah? what's it about?"

She didn't say anything at first. Her eyes flashed back and forth between the book and him. Eventually, she took out the bookmark – _his_ bookmark – and marked her place, closing the book. "It's an allegory for how automobiles are destroying the planet."

Sans felt like she had slapped him with a wet fish. "what the _hell_? no, it-" He stopped himself. "I mean, sure. if you say so." _shit. hope she didn't catch that._

But she had. The edge of her mouth twitched, threatening to become a smile. "Is this your book? And, um, bench? I'm really sorry, I just needed a place to stay for a while. I can leave." She sounded sincere.

 _oh, no. you're not getting away_ _ **that**_ _easily._ Sans waved his hand dismissively. "it's no big deal." _yes it isssss._ "you can stay as long as you want. plus, I've read that book a million times." There wasn't a huge selection of literature when you got most of it from the dump.

The lady looked hesitant. "Okay."

"yup. never got an 'allegory for automobiles' or whatever out of it, though." Sans spread his legs as far apart as he possibly could. "how the hell did you come up with _that_?"

She didn't seem to notice his legs. She smiled awkwardly. "I dunno? I mean, I'm sure it wasn't intended that way, but considering that all of the clans are named after car companies, it doesn't seem that far of a stretch. I just find it fun to come up with interpretations like that, sometimes."

Sans gave her a look with half-open sockets. "make shit up, you mean."

"Isn't that what fiction is, anyway?" She had a playful glint in her eye.

 _shit. got me there._ This wasn't going according to plan. "yeah, I guess. your 'allegory' makes no sense with the arc of the story, though. how far are you, anyway?"

She held up the book. "I'm about halfway through. I just got past the scene in the old factory, with the icicles and the conveyor belts."

Sans's ridges went up. "wait, when did you start reading?"

"A couple of hours ago, more or less." She shrugged. "I'm kind of a fast reader."

Sans was somewhat impressed. _it's not that_ _amazing. plenty of people can read fast._ He came up with an incredibly ruthless and brutal idea. _okay, plan b._ _ **spoilers**_ _._ He crossed his legs – his joints had started to ache – and put his hands behind his head. "neat. what's your favorite part so far?"

She held her chin. "Hmm. Can't narrow it down to just one. I like the relationship that Denari and Ferek seem to have. It's pretty interesting."

He scoffed. "not really. ferek's _annoying._ "

She seemed taken aback by that. "Annoying?"

He nodded. "he's always talking about dark, broody shit, but he never does anything to back it up. denari's better off with her best friend, liana. they have greater chemistry." _sheesh, I'm running my mouth._ _ **nobody cares**_ _about your otp, sans._

She seemed lost in thought. "Huh."

 _now here's the kicker._ "besides, it would never work. him being a member of clan hyundai and stuff."

There was a long pause.

"Yeah," she said. "I thought as much."

Sans stared at her in disbelief. _you've gotta be kidding me._ "how'd you guess?"

"What, him being a member of Clan Hyundai? It was sort of obvious, actually. They kept talking about how Hyundai was the most hated of Ferrari's rivals, so I figured that he had to be a member of that clan. Also, the back of the book spoiled it." She said the last few words with a flat disappointment.

"oh." _shit, that's right._ He'd have to spoil something else. _the ending?_ No, that last twist was too good. _hold on, why the fuck do I care?_

She put the book aside. "To be honest, though, I expected more cuddling."

 _oh, jeez, here we go._ Sans rolled his eyes. "cuddling? between denari and ferek? they've only known each other for, like, two days at this point."

"Actually, I was talking about in general. Everyone cuddling with each other."

His jaw nearly dropped off his face. _the fuck?_ " _why_?"

"Cuddling is one of the best ways to share body heat. It's often used as a survival technique." Her eyes were mirthful. "In fact, the whole 'dispute between the clans' thing could probably be solved by everyone getting into a huge cuddle pile."

Now _that_ was too much. _this lady's a fuckin'_ _ **sap**_ _._ "that has to be the dumbest…" He held back a snigger. It did kind of make sense, from a scientific standpoint. But it was _dumb_. "no way in hell would that work. the clans hate each other too much; they wouldn't want to get anywhere _near_ each other."

She tilted her head, amusement on her face. "Well, if it's for the sake of surviving, I think they'd be willing to do it."

Sans imagined the climax of the book, but with cuddling instead of fighting. Some of those death scenes… changed quite a bit. "that… that's…" His shoulders shook with wordless laughter. _why is this so funny to me?_ "there's no space. none of the clan bases have… enough space for everyone." He was finding it harder to breathe.

She looked like she was trying very hard not to smile. "That's not true. Remember that huge underground base that Clan Honda owns? Instead of using it for storage, they could just throw a bunch of pillows, blankets, and mattresses in there and have everyone huddle together inside it."

"maybe, but then they'd have to take those roads through the caves to transport everyone there." _why am I getting into this?_ "those are really dangerous, remember? and the amount of gas that their trucks would use… it's not worth it." _your idea is bad and you should feel bad._

She pursed her lips. "I guess you're right. After all, they…" She bit her lip, trembling. "They might get _**carpool tunnel syndrome**_."

 _car... pool…_

Some flip was switched in his mind, and suddenly he couldn't hold it in anymore.

He started cracking up.

At first, she just watched him with an astonished expression. Then she started laughing, too. They spent about half a minute just laughing at the situation, and at each others' reactions.

A _yuk_ slipped out of Sans's mouth.

He covered the traitorous thing with his hands.

The lady stopped laughing. She looked surprised.

His sweating came back at full force. _dammit, what the hell am I even doing?_ He was trying to annoy her, not get chummy with her; she was the **enemy**. He was _way_ off-track _._ He scooted to the opposite end of the bench and put his hands back inside his pockets. "okay. that was…decent, I guess." _cracked up over a pun that wasn't even that funny. fuck, I'm tired._

There was still a faint smile on her face. "Thanks."

Neither of them spoke for a bit.

Sans was mad at himself for laughing, and he was mad at her for making him laugh. _dammit, who the hell does this lady think she is, anyway?_ That's right, he didn't know. Maybe he could find out. "so, you got me at a disadvantage. you know my name, but I don't know yours."

"Oh, right." She glanced around. "I'm Auvie."

Auvie. He'd never heard the name before; it had kind of a nice ring to it. _auvie. auvie, auvie, auvie._ He rolled it around in his mind so that he wouldn't forget it. "gotcha. nice to meet you, _ava_."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything.

 _wonder how much she'll tell me if I ask._ "you aren't from the surface, are you?"

"No." She crossed her legs. "I'm… from a different dimension, actually."

"right." Seeing some of the things she'd done, he could believe it. "what made you decide to visit _this_ dimension, anna? not sure if you've noticed, but the Underground is a shitty place."

Her mouth twisted. "It was an accident. I was trying to get to a different dimension that was similar to this one. Must have missed."

 _hell of a time to miss._ Sans recalled her "restraint" spiel. "is that the dimension with our alternate selves? the ones you said you met?" It took him a second to think of a name. "abby?"

"Yeah." Her voice suddenly sounded melancholy. "I, uh, made a promise that I would see them again. A while ago."

Sans started to feel uncomfortable. _fuck._ He looked down at his feet. He wasn't in the mood for things to get depressing. _really hope she doesn't start talking about her "feelings" n' shit_ , he thought.

His worries were proven unfounded; she seemed to recover. "So, what about you? Tell me about yourself."

 _is she seriously trying to turn this around? what the hell does she think this is, a book club?_ "no."

Apparently, she wasn't fazed by his bluntness. "Okay, then, tell me about…" She gesticulated. "The Underground. How things got to this point."

Sans sneered at her. "this fucking question again? why is this so hard for you to understand, _adrianna_? there was a war, monsters died, we were exiled, and we've held a pretty big fucking grudge about it ever since. that's _it._ "

This time, she seemed distressed by his answer. "…Okay, then. Sorry. Forget I asked." She turned away from him.

The only sound was the water drops falling from the ceiling.

 _huh. she's stopped talking._ A queasiness wriggled inside him. _did… I actually upset her?_ He coughed. "you clammed up. what, you not gonna ask me any more questions?"

She wouldn't look at him. "They seemed to bother you. I thought I should stop."

The silence was unbearable. _wait, no, this is good. she'll probably leave soon if I keep this up._ "that's too bad," he drawled. "I was really missing the sound of your voice, _**angel**_."

The words seemed to startle her. She looked back at him.

 _oh, shit, that came out wrong._ His sweating intensified; he avoided her gaze. "angel. you know, the name. w-wasn't calling you an _angel_ angel. 'cuz that would be dumb." His shaking started; instinctively, he shrunk back into his coat.

He didn't see her expression. "Okay." He couldn't read her voice, either. "Well, I'm going to read some more." He heard her open the book again.

"f-fine. whatever." As he waited for his shaking to subside, he berated himself. _you stupid fucking idiot. how can you fuck up this badly?_ Nothing he'd done had worked. When he tried to annoy her, they'd just had a conversation. When he had tried to upset her, it just turned into… whatever that was. _how the fuck can I get her to_ _ **leave**_ _?_

Then it came to him.

 _wow, I really am stupid. the solution was right in front of me the whole time._ He grinned; his shaking had stopped. _should have done this at the start. this is_ _ **sure**_ _to work._ He sat up and fixed her with a nonchalant look. "so, you getting cold?"

Her eyes didn't leave the book; it took her a moment to respond. "Kind of, I guess. Why?"

"well, if you are, then I can help with that." He slid closer to her.

Her attention was on him now; she seemed reluctant. "Uh… how, exactly?"

"easy. you said it yourself: 'sharing body warmth.'" His teeth flashed. "like **this**."

And with that, he snuggled up to her. Like, _really_ snuggled up to her. Her hair touched the left half his face. He could feel her side through his coat. It felt… warm. _wow. it actually works._ He knew the science behind it, of course; he just hadn't experienced it very often himself.

Furthermore, he had succeeded in rendering her absolutely speechless. Her eyes darted around. "Um…"

"don't mind me." He adjusted himself so that his skull was resting in a comfortable position on her shoulder. "just keep readin'." He braced himself for the inevitable slap.

But she didn't slap him. Or push him. She didn't even glare at him; her face was turned away. "Uh, all right. This… sure."

 _oh, for fuck's sake._ Sans scowled. That should have done it. He knew that if some jackass sidled up to _him_ and tried to cuddle him like this, he'd smack them so hard that they'd break the **Barrier**. _no way. she's bluffing. this must be bothering her._ He wouldn't give up. He shifted his body and prepared for siege.

She had to get tired of this eventually.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie had no idea how to handle this situation.

When Sans had approached her, she'd thought he would try to fight her, or pull some kind of nasty trick on her. Instead, they talked about the book, and then he'd asked for her name, and now… now this. _This might still be a nasty trick_ , she thought to herself. It wasn't out of the question. _All of this is so weird._

Not that she minded. When it came between this situation and what happened in that tunnel, she preferred this.

She _much_ preferred this.

Auvie's eyes were on the book, but none of the words registered in her brain. She was having difficulty concentrating. _For whatever reason. Can't imagine why._ Deadly death skeletons giving her cuddles. Totally relaxing.

It had been a few minutes since he'd first laid his head on her shoulder. _What's he doing? He has to be bored at this point, right?_ She had trouble understanding what was running through his head, but she didn't think he was hanging out there just for the pleasure of her company; there had been mischief in that smile. Maybe he was planning to get her when her guard was down.

She peeked at him from out of the corner of her eye.

 _Oh my god._

He was actually asleep.

He looked peaceful, too. No aggression in his face whatsoever. Then again, most people looked peaceful when they slept.

As she watched him, a tingly sensation spread throughout her body. _Is he faking it?_ He could be faking it. She returned to looking at her book before he could open his eye sockets.

A gentle snore entered her right ear.

 _I don't think he's faking it._ Auvie covered her face with her hand. She wouldn't be getting up any time soon. _This guy's tried to kill me… what, three times? And now he's fallen asleep on my shoulder._ And she was letting him.

She had to admit it, though: she liked him.

She didn't know exactly what it was about him. After all, he'd been spending all of his time antagonizing her. Maybe his laugh? _That sounds cheesy._ It was really infectious, though. Maybe it was how vulnerable he seemed sometimes, and how it resonated with her on some level.

 _Maybe it's because he looks like the other Sans_ , she speculated with a considerable amount of glumness. Things hadn't exactly been resolved with him; it was possible that she was projecting those feelings onto this Sans. _Speaking of which, I still need to travel to their dimension to see them. That means I'm going to be leaving._ She felt a pang of regret. Even if she had chemistry with this Sans, it probably wouldn't work out.

 _In fact, maybe I should push him off of me now._ She glanced down at him once again.

She couldn't do it - he looked so _tranquil_. Every other time she'd seen him, he was angry or agitated or nervous. But right now, he was clearly at ease, just snoozing away. She didn't want to disturb him.

The memory of his death passed through her mind again, and she had to stifle a shudder. Never had she been so glad for a reset before; she wasn't sure she could have lived with his dust on her hands. _Back there, when I said I was happy to see him, I meant it. Hell, I kind of want to kiss him just for being_ _ **alive**_ _._ Inwardly, she debated putting her arm around him, but decided against it. He probably wouldn't appreciate it when he woke up.

 _This is the exact opposite of the distraction I was looking for._ Her emotions were too difficult to process. _I'll worry about that stuff later. I need to escape reality for a bit._

She transferred her thoughts away from her complicated feelings and concentrated on the book.

* * *

Time passed; she wasn't sure how much. It had to have been at least an hour.

Auvie had just reached the end of the final scene. Her eyes lingered on the last paragraph.

She'd finished the book.

 _Wow_ , she thought. _That final twist… I can't even._

She closed the book with a _snap_.

Sans was startled awake. He bolted up and looked around, his movements jerky and frantic.

 _ **Crap**_ _._ She'd been so distracted by her reading that she'd forgotten he was sleeping. "Oh, jeez, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

He was pressed back against the wall of the cave in the space of a blink. He stared at her, his hand clutching his chest, wheezing.

She felt even worse. "I'm really sorry."

His left eye glowed. " **I don't need your fucking pity**."

Words died in Auvie's throat. She looked down at the dirty cave floor.

Silence.

She could hear his teeth chattering. _Should I say something to him?_ She wasn't sure it was a good idea. Any apology would probably be interpreted as more pity, which wasn't her intention. _I probably shouldn't say anything, then._

The silence was broken by a chuckle. "I see what you're trying to do."

She looked up at him quizzically. "Huh?"

He seemed to have regained his composure, although he looked deeply unsettled. "tryin' to make me soft like you." He tapped his skull. "won't work. got bones of _steel_."

 _Is that what I'm doing?_ She quirked a smile at him. "Okay."

"you think I'm fucking joking?" His words sounded harsh, but there was something about the way he said them that rang hollow.

She decided not to comment on it. "No." She held up the book. "I finished the book, by the way. That last twist blew my mind."

His eyes drifted away from her, disinterested. "it was okay. you know, for a _human_ novel."

 _There are monster novels?_ It had never occurred to her. _Of course there are monster novels. Damn, I need to expand my reading pool._ "It was definitely well set up. There were all these little clues that I didn't notice." She wiggled the book. "Do you… want it back?"

"just put it back under the bench." He was deliberately avoiding looking at her now.

She bent over and started to push it under, then stopped. "Wait, won't the humidity ruin it?"

He smirked. "it's waterproofed, _genius_. we got magic, remember?"

"Oh." _That is_ _ **awesome**_ _._ She returned the book to its place. "Hey, thanks again for letting me hang out here. I really appreciate it."

He gritted his teeth. "yeah, well…" The rest of the statement was inaudible; he was grumbling to himself.

Auvie remembered something else she'd wanted to say. "By the way, you were totally right. Denari had a _lot_ more chemistry with Liana than Ferek."

His eyes returned to her. His cheekbones flushed crimson. "well, duh. of course I'm right. read that book a million fucking times." He was looking at her now. His eyes swept a few inches down from her face, and he suddenly grinned, snickering.

She felt her cheeks heat up. "What?"

"s' nothing." He waved a hand. "you might not want to walk around too much today, though. otherwise, monsters might spot you and get the wrong… **impression**." He walked toward the boardwalk. "anyway, have fun not getting killed. see ya." He turned the corner and disappeared.

 _Impression?_ Auvie frowned. What exactly had he meant by that? Did something happen to her outfit? She stood up and walked over to the water.

The stillness of its surface and the darkness beneath it made for a great mirror. She checked her outfit. _Nothing seems out of place._ Aside from the fact that her clothes were covered in muck. She brushed it off as best as she could: first her pants, then her shirt, then her hat. Finally, she took off her gloves and brandished them in front of her. Dirt particles scattered through the air. _There. It's not perfect, but it's better than before._ She put her gloves back on.

As she pulled her right glove back into place, she noticed an odd red mark on her upper arm. It looked like the beginning of a zigzag. _What's that?_ She crouched down next to the water to examine it more closely.

Adorning her shoulder, exactly where Sans's head had been resting, was a perfect imprint of his teeth.

 _Oh. Ohhhh._ Auvie was fairly certain that she was now the color of a ripe beet. So. That was what he meant. _His pun… okay, that was good._ She was pretty glad that he had mentioned it now. _I probably shouldn't leave this area, then._ She felt kind of bad for continuing to use this space after what happened, but she didn't really have anywhere else to stay. _I'll have to find some way to make it up to him_ , she thought.

Her stomach rumbled.

 _Shit._ In all of the excitement that she'd gotten caught up in, she never noticed that she hadn't eaten today. _Crap._ Now she'd _have_ to leave the area to find something. She didn't look forward to the idea, especially with Undyne on the hunt, but she had a lot of trouble sleeping when she was hungry. _Besides, there's no guarantee that anyone will recognize this mark_ , she thought, feeling sheepish. _They might just think it's a tattoo, or something._

She stepped out onto the boardwalk and crossed over to the other side of the wall.

The room looked vacant. _Good. Maybe I won't run into anyone._ It was a remote possibility, but she could hope, right? She looked around. All that seemed edible here were the mushrooms, and she was willing to bet that they were poisonous. _Dammit, this is gonna be hard._

A pale grey monster shuffled noisily into the room. "Dude, where is everyone?"

 _Oh, fuck, it's_ _ **Jerry**_ _._ Auvie briefly considered transferring back over to the other room to hide.

It was too late. They had seen her. They made their way over, their feet scraping loudly across the floor. "Man, this party sucks. Nobody's here. LAME-O." This Jerry had long, greasy black locks sprouting from the top of their head.

She smiled politely but didn't respond. _Maybe if I don't talk, they'll go away._

They looked up at her, and their nose wrinkled. "Is that a hickey? Ew, gross. Cover up or something."

Her blood boiled. She resisted the urge to punt them into the water and simply left as quickly as she could. _Fucking Jerry._ She should have known they'd be in this dimension too. She wasn't surprised that they hadn't changed much between dimensions, either.

Jerry never changed.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

 _well_ , Sans thought. _that was a fucking disaster._

This whole day had been one, in fact. He'd failed to kill the human, he'd failed to even _annoy_ her, and pretty soon Papyrus was going to reprimand him. _things just keep getting better and better._

He took his time heading back to his sentry station. _at least I got a nap in._ It was a small comfort, but-

An armored hand hit his desk. " _Sans_."

He jumped back. _oh, fuck. I forgot about undyne._ "sup?" He tried to make his voice as casual as possible.

She loomed over him. "I checked this station twice over the past three hours. You weren't here. **Where were you**?"

 _I was gone for three whole hours?_ That was longer than most of his breaks. _fuck, she's really not happy_. He shrugged helplessly. "no excuses. I was goofing off. sorry, undi- boss." A pit formed in his soul. _this is the day I finally get fired._ He had no idea how he was going to face Papyrus now.

She towered menacingly, the air filled with an excruciating stillness. Then her hand shot out, clenching a piece of paper with a piece of tape hanging off of it. "What is this?"

The paper read, _watch out, rotten eggs_.

 _whoops. must have forgotten to take that down from the tunnel of history._ "thought it would reduce traffic. make your job easier." That wasn't entirely a lie; it definitely reduced traffic, and the human's death would have made her job a _lot_ easier.

She slammed it down on the desk; Sans heard it give way a little. "Next time you come to work when I've given you a vacation, either do what I tell you or **stay at home and keep out of the way.** _ **Do you understand me?**_ " Her voice was a low, guttural growl.

Another shaking episode was impending. He forced himself to meet her eyes. "yes, boss."

Without another word, she turned around and marched away, leaving him behind.

He watched her go, his face frozen in disbelief. _shit. I got off really light._ He picked up the sign and checked his shorts pockets. He didn't have any money on him. _maybe I should skip the visit to Grillby's today._ He recalled the days events. _fuck it. I really need a burger right now._

He took the nearest shortcut away.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, he teleported into his house.

There was no sound to be heard.

 _is he out right now?_ Sans felt a small amount of relief. _well, we'll see how long that fucking lasts. he's probably out searching for me._ He sat down on the stairs.

The door opened. "BROTHER, I HAVE RETURNED."

 _wait, what?_ Sans stood up. "uh, hey, bro." _he expected me to be here?_ Had he just assumed Sans would be okay? _damn, he's taking this a lot better than I thought._ He felt a tinge of bitterness. _guess he wasn't worried at all._

Papyrus closed the door behind him. "WHILE I WAS OUT TRAINING, I REALIZED THAT OUR TRAPS HAD NOT BEEN RESET SINCE THE HUMAN HAD COME THROUGH. SO I RESET THEM, BUT WHILE DOING SO, I REMEMBERED HOW THE HUMAN BYPASSED THEM, AND…" He seemed a bit embarrassed. "I GOT A BIT CARRIED AWAY."

Oh. So he didn't know he left. _just play it cool, sans._ Sans teleported over to him.

"AS A RESULT," Papyrus continued. "I MISSED OUR SCHEDULED APPOINTMENT. BUT I SEE YOU KEPT YOUR PROMISE."

Sans tucked his hands into his pockets. "bro, you know I never break my promises."

Papyrus gave him a long look. "I CAN THINK OF A FEW EXCEPTIONS. STILL, YOU'RE HERE NOW. THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS." He walked into the kitchen. "I'M GOING TO PRACTICE MY CULINARY SKILLS."

"cool. I'll be chilling in my room." Sans was luckier than he thought. He'd gone outside and spent _several_ hours with the human, and yet Undyne hadn't punished him and Papyrus was none the wiser. He turned around.

A sickening realization sunk like a stone in his brain.

The note was still in the kitchen.

Sans teleported to the kitchen entrance. "hang on a sec, bro, there's something I-"

Papyrus was holding the note in his gloved hands.

Sans felt dread creeping through his entire body.

Papyrus's back was turned to him. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, SANS?" His voice sounded strained.

 _shit_. Sans leaned on the archway. _whatever. I don't have to apologize for anything._ "what does it look like?"

"YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE." Papyrus wasn't moving at all.

"no, I didn't." Sans knew he was just adding fuel to the fire. He didn't care. "stuck around for a minute. that technically counts as 'staying.'"

Papyrus didn't say anything. He set the paper back down on the counter. Turning around, he started to walk out of the kitchen.

Sans was afraid of this. He hated when Papyrus acted this way. _dammit._ "pap-"

Papyrus shoved him aside, walking into the living room.

Sans grimaced. He knew the drill; Papyrus wouldn't talk to him for a couple of days after this unless he said something. _just let him go_. Sans hadn't done anything wrong. _let him sulk for a few days. he'll get over it._

But he couldn't do it.

 _shit._

Sans followed Papyrus. "don't you want to talk about this?"

Papyrus didn't even stop to spare him a glance. "WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?" His voice was sharp and biting. He stomped up the stairs.

Sans appeared near the top of them. "bro-"

Papyrus moved past him. "YOU WENT BACK ON YOUR WORD AND WENT OUTSIDE. YOU LIED TO ME!" Papyrus wrenched the door open. "AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT! _GOOD DAY, SANS!_ " Papyrus slammed the door behind him.

Anger churned inside of Sans. _great. just fucking awesome._ This was the _best_ day of his life. _hey, guess what, bro? I went out there and risked my life to_ _ **fucking protect you**_ _._ And Papyrus was upset because he'd gone back on his _word_. Typical fucking Papyrus. "geez, bro. didn't know you **cared** so much." He started to walk back to his room.

 _Slam._

Suddenly, gloved hands snatched Sans and picked him up off the ground. They held him in the air, dangling dangerously close to the rickety wooden bannister.

Sans flinched involuntarily. _he_ _ **wouldn't**_ _._ His brother knew better than anyone what Sans's physique was like; he wouldn't try to drop him over the railing, would he?

Papyrus stared at him, his face stern.

 _ah, I get it_ , Sans thought. _he's trying to threaten me._ "do it," he snarled. "I fucking dare-"

To Sans's complete and utter astonishment, however, he was pulled into a tight embrace.

His ribcage bumped against his brother's polished black chestplate. He felt the scarf brush his face. The arms that held him were trembling.

 _is pap…_ _ **crying**_ _?_

Sans was so stunned that he went limp.

They stayed that way for a while.

"I ALMOST LOST YOU YESTERDAY," Papyrus finally said. "NOTHING I DID HINDERED HER PROGRESS. IF IT HADN'T BEEN… IF SHE HADN'T STOPPED, YOU WOULD HAVE DIED."

Sans was speechless. _this never happens._ When was the last time Papyrus had actually hugged him? Or done anything like this, for that matter?

"I WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO PROTECT YOU. SHE WAS TOO POWERFUL." Papyrus hugged Sans even more closely to him. "SANS, IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU, I… I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO _LIVE_ WITH MYSELF."

Sans had no idea how to think or what to say. Instead, he let out a long sigh and buried his face in the scarf.

It smelled like marinara sauce.

"BROTHER…" His voice was unsure. It was so unlike him. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

Sans was silent for a long time. He hadn't been prepared for this.

"BROTHER?" Papyrus was trembling harder than ever.

"yeah," Sans replied weakly. He closed his sockets. His own tears leaked out of the edges of them.

He understood perfectly.


	4. Chapter 4: Bridging the Gap, Part 1

**Author's Notes:**

Technically, this is only the first half of the chapter, but it was taking me a while to complete it, and I figured you've all waited long enough. I'll probably just combine the two parts later.

But yeah! I make some _interesting_ creative choices in both parts of this chapter!

Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

 _The air was very chilly._

 _Auvie pulled the hood of her new jacket over her head. It was "new" in the sense that it had been given to her recently; it was one of Sans's old jackets. She'd felt bad about accepting it – yet another thing she would owe to the skelebros – but he had insisted. She liked it; it was nice and warm._

 _It had been two weeks since Sans and Papyrus had found her in the woods. Since then, she'd been trying to help them in whatever ways she could: building puzzles, selling hotdogs(…?), and occasionally making meals when the mood struck her. She figured it was the least she could do to show how much she appreciated their hospitality._

 _It was strange, but she felt like her life was settling into a routine. She was getting used to some of the common occurrences in the skeletal household._

 _Well, except for when Undyne showed up yesterday._

ooooo

The door to the house burst open, and Papyrus strode in. "BROTHER! HUMAN!" He looked down. "WHY ARE YOU BOTH ON THE FLOOR?"

"oh, i just told a pretty good joke," Sans replied with a wink. "auvie was **floored** by it."

Auvie snorted. They had just been lying down for the sake of it; apparently, "one in two ghosts" recommended it.

Papyrus's eyes bugged out. "GAH! FORGET I ASKED!" His smile returned. "ANYWAY, I HAVE GREAT NEWS! UNDYNE IS DONE WITH HER SPECIAL ROYAL GUARD BUSINESS! WE WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO HANG OUT AGAIN LIKE *COOL PEOPLE*!" He turned his attention to Auvie. "YOU ARE FREE TO JOIN US, HUMAN! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY OTHER AWESOME FRIEND OUT OF THIS!"

Auvie beamed at him. _Awwww._ Then a thought occurred to her. "Wait, Undyne? Didn't you say that she… hated humans?"

"ER, YES." Papyrus was silent for a moment. Then he perked up. "BUT YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON, HUMAN! I'M SURE THAT, UPON MEETING YOU, SHE'LL _HAVE_ TO CHANGE HER OPINION!"

"i dunno, bro." Sans hadn't moved an inch from his position on the floor. "maybe it's better if they don't meet right away."

"UM, WELL…" Papyrus glanced to the side. "THAT MIGHT BE A BIT OF A PROBLEM, SINCE I INVITED HER OVER TODAY."

 _Uh oh._ Auvie sat up. "When is she coming over?"

Papyrus looked stiff. "SOON."

"how soon, bro?" Sans was on his feet; Auvie hadn't seen him get up.

"VERY SOON. AS IN…"His grin was nervous. "RIGHT NOW?"

 _Bang._

 _ **Bang.**_

 _ **BANG.**_

The door shook with the force of the knocks.

"Hey NERDS!" A voice came from the other side of it. "Are ya gonna let me in or what!? I'm freezing my BUTT off out here!"

Auvie's stomach plummeted.

"JUST A MINUTE, UNDYNE!" Papyrus was clearly anxious.

Sans, on the other hand, didn't seem the least bit worried. He turned to Auvie. "come on, auvie. i know a good hiding place."

Auvie quickly stood. From what she'd heard, she didn't want to be dealing with Undyne's wrath any time soon. _Or ever._ She followed Sans into the kitchen.

Sans opened the cabinet under the kitchen sink. "here. i'll let you know when it's safe to come out."

Auvie stepped into the cabinet. It was a little bit narrow, but not bad. She gave Sans a thumbs up.

He winked at her and shut the door.

Darkness fell.

 _This is fine_ , she thought. Sometimes, as embarrassing as it was to admit it, she was scared of the dark. It was only at night or in large open spaces, though, for the most part. Small nooks like this were okay.

The noises were muffled, but she could hear what was happening.

There was the _squeak_ of a door opening, and then a loud _crash_ followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. "What took you so long, DORK? C'mere!" The words were punctuating by a noise that Auvie could only assume signified a noogie.

"ACK! PLEASE BE GENTLE, UNDYNE!" The cabinet didn't do much to block out Papyrus's voice.

"No way! I didn't get ANY chances to train with you while I was busy, so I have to be TWICE as hard on you now!"

"NOOOOO!"

The noise stopped. "Aw, I'm just kidding." There was a clatter as the two got up. "Man, it's so good to see you! I've been busy way too long!"

Auvie heard breathing.

 _What_ _ **is**_ _that?_

Whatever it was, it was close by.

Terrified, Auvie willed herself into staying perfectly still.

"I'M HAPPY TO SEE YOU, TOO! LIFE HASN'T BEEN THE SAME WITHOUT YOUR APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION." The sound of cloth brushing off armor.

"Heh." Undyne seemed amused by the comment. "By the way, where's your cool new friend? The one you were telling me about earlier?"

There was a pause. "AH, YES. HER. SHE, UM… DECIDED TO TAKE A WALK. FOR A WHILE."

The breathing was getting louder.

Auvie was finding it harder and harder to keep still.

"YES," Papyrus continued. "SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO STAY OUTSIDE AND ENJOY THE SUN."

"Uh… okay?" There wasn't any sun in the Underground. Judging from her tone of voice, Undyne knew this.

The breathing was getting even louder.

 _It's coming from inside the cabinet._

Auvie clenched her teeth together.

Papyrus's voice also became louder. "INDEED! SHE IS NOT HERE, THAT IS FOR CERTAIN. FURTHERMORE, SHE. IS. DEFINITELY NOT A HUMAN!"

"UH? OKAY?" Undyne didn't sound the least bit convinced.

 _I'm dead._

Something warm touched her leg.

She clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her scream.

"hey, bro, maybe you two should hang out in your room." Auvie had never been happier to hear Sans's voice in her life.

Papyrus seemed pretty happy, too. "THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA, SANS! THANK YOU FOR SUGGESTING IT. LET'S GO, UNDYNE!"

"HEY, _WAIT_ -" There was the sound of footsteps and protest, which grew fainter and fainter until a door slammed shut.

A painful silence commenced.

The warm thing was still touching Auvie's leg. _It's not doing anything._ Still, Auvie couldn't relax. _Please don't bite me, please don't bite me, please don't bite me_ -

The cabinet door opened.

Auvie flinched back.

It was just Sans. "sorry that took so long. why don't we set you up in the shed until she leaves?"

Auvie breathed out and in, enjoying the feeling of oxygen in her lungs. "Sounds good. Let's… let's do that." _Sweet light, how I have missed you._

"cool. i think we have a few spare pillows. lemme get 'em." Sans turned around and left.

Auvie leapt out of the cabinet and looked inside.

There was nothing there.

 _Did I imagine that?_ No, she couldn't have. Her head drooped. _This place is way too exciting._

Then she noticed the white fur clinging to her pant leg.

ooooo

 _The rest of Auvie's day had been spent in the shed, which wasn't too bad. It was a little stinky, though. Not as warm as the house._

 _Auvie stopped walking._

Here.

 _This was a good place to practice. Nice and quiet. She doubted she would be interrupted here, especially at four in the morning._

 _Since she had arrived here, she hadn't gotten many opportunities to practice her abilities. The Buffer Zone – and, consequently, the dimensional fabric – was very thin, making it unsafe to try to travel through it. On top of that, she hadn't been able to get much time to explore by herself; it was so easy to get caught up in whatever the skelebros were doing._

 _When she had woken up this morning, however, Papyrus had been busy re-enacting his children's books (he never really slept) and Sans hadn't come down for a midnight snack no matter how long she waited._

 _She looked up._

 _Far, far above her, cloaked in darkness, there was the cave ceiling. And somehow, between the ceiling and where she now stood, snow was produced. Snow that only fell in a specific area of the caverns: Snowdin._

Magic? _She'd asked the skelebros about it, but all she got in return were shrugs. Apparently, nobody really knew where it came from._

 _It simply was._

 _Auvie shifted her hands along the fabric, feeling it stretch. Just because the Buffer Zone was too thin to transfer into safely didn't mean that she couldn't manipulate the fabric itself. She merely had to be a little more careful about it than usual._

 _She released the fabric. The response was good: just the right amount of yield. Probably safe enough to practice._

 _Satisfied, she summoned her sword and slowly began to manipulate the snow._

 _It curved around, twisting and spiraling as she maneuvered the blade. The snow formed tunnels and waves. She moved along with the blade, turning and lifting her feet when necessary. It was an exercise in control; she'd done it back in her own dimension, only with rain and leaves instead. Not only did it improve her precision, it was pretty relaxing._

 _She flicked her sword, and the snow she had been shaping swirled into the air._

Also, it looks **amazing** , _Auvie thought with a smile. Rain and leaves were cool, but they were never_ _ **this**_ _cool._

I just made a pun.

 _Sans would be proud._

 _Suddenly, a snowball hit the back of her head._

 _Auvie started._

Huh? Who threw that?

 _She spun around._

 _There was nobody there._

Okay, that's weird. Are they hiding? _She squinted her eyes, but she didn't see anything._

 _Another snowball hit her squarely in the face._

 _She wiped away the snow._ Damn, it's **cold**. _The jacket was warm, but not_ _ **that**_ _warm._ Whoever's doing this is gonna get a face full of-

 _It was only once Auvie had cleared away the snow that she saw her._

 _Standing several yards away was a knight, fully clad in metal armor. A stream of red flowed from the back of her helmet. Her eyes were gleaming._

 _It had to be Undyne._

 _Auvie felt her whole body tense up._

 _They both stood in silence._

 _It lasted for a long time._

 _A really long time._

 _A really,_ _ **really**_ _long time._

 _In fact, now it was getting kind of ridiculous._ Why isn't she saying anything? _Auvie had expected her to talk by this point._

"… _will…the consequences…"_

Huh?

"… _face…justice…spear…"_

Wait, no _. Undyne_ was _talking; she was just too quiet and far away._ _Auvie raised her voice. "What?"_

 _Apparently, Undyne hadn't heard her question. She was gesturing now. It looked very dramatic._

 _Auvie cupped her hands around her mouth. "I can't hear you! Can you speak up?"_

 _This time the message got through. Undyne stopped, then after a moment she started talking again._

 _Auvie strained her ears. Try as she might, though, she still couldn't hear her. "Sorry, still can't hear you! Try yelling!"_

 _The knight's shoulders heaved, and then she started_ _ **again**_ _._

 _Auvie frowned._ Still too quiet. _"I think you'll have to come closer!"_

 _The knight threw up her hands, stomped about five feet towards Auvie, and stopped. "CAN. YOU. HEAR. THIS?"_

Just barely _. Auvie nodded. "Yes!"_

 _The knight stamped her foot. "GOOD. NOW, AS I WAS_ _ **SAYING**_ _. HUMAN! YOU ARE ABOUT TO-"_

 _The wind picked up, drowning out her voice._

 _Auvie grimaced. "Wait, no, it's gone now. Do you think you could-"_

 _Undyne took off her helmet and threw it down in the snow. "NGAH! FORGET IT! Just stay still so I can KILL YOU FASTER!"_

Wow, I can hear her much better now, _Auvie thought._

 _ **Whoosh**_.

 _Auvie dodged just in time to get out of the path of the spear. It missed her nose by an inch._

Oh, shit. _That had been way too close._ _She looked up at the person who threw it._

 _Undyne was running toward her, moving fast in spite of her armor. A frenzied smile was clear on her face._

 _Auvie's eyes widened._

Oh, **shit**.

 _She sprinted as fast as she could in the other direction, a string of hysterical laughter escaping from her lips._

 _She was_ _ **so**_ _dead._

* * *

 _About half an hour later, they were both on a couch, huddled under a blanket._

 _"HONESTLY, I AM SURPRISED AT THE BOTH OF YOU." Papyrus came in from the kitchen, carrying two steaming mugs. "PLAYING TAG IN THE SNOW? AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?" His tone became indignant. "WITHOUT INVITING_ _ **ME**_ _?" He handed the mugs to them._

 _"Sorry, Papyrus," Undyne muttered. "We didn't know you'd be interested." She brought the mug closer to her, shooting Auvie a dirty look._

" _WELL, NOW YOU DO." Papyrus's expression became unnerved. "HOWEVER... YOUR ARMOR ISN'T MEANT FOR THE COLD. IF SANS HADN'T FOUND YOU, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD."_

 _"Pretty bad," Auvie agreed, giving Undyne a nervous look. She looked down at the mug's contents._

 _It was spaghetti._

 _Of course._

I… didn't even get a fork… _She sighed and held her hand over the steam to warm it._

 _"STILL!" Papyrus's voice was cheery. "I'M GLAD YOU TWO ARE ALREADY GETTING ALONG! IT'LL MAKE HANGING OUT THAT MUCH MORE FUN!"_

 _"yup." Sans was leaning on the wall near the door. "now you can_ _ **chill out**_ _together."_

 _"SANS!" Papyrus's face after a pun never failed to amuse._

 _Sans shrugged in that way he always did. "anyway, i'm headed over to grillby's. anyone want anything?"_

 _"No, thanks. I'll pass this time." Undyne sniffed and ducked further under the blanket._

 _Auvie smiled sheepishly. "If you could get me a burger, that would be great."_

 _"GOOD IDEA! BURGERS AND SPAGHETTI GO TOGETHER LIKE…" Papyrus's skull furrowed. "WHAT DO THEY GO TOGETHER LIKE?"_

 _"burgers and spaghetti." Sans returned his attention to Auvie. "same as usual?"_

 _Auvie nodded. "Same as usual." This wasn't the first time he'd gotten a burger for her._

 _He winked. "gotcha. be right back." He left._

 _Auvie felt strangely warm for some reason._

 _Papyrus clapped his hands together. "OH! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE SOMETHING I WANTED TO SHOW THE BOTH OF YOU! LET ME GO GET IT!" Papyrus sprung up the stairs and entered his room, the door shutting behind him._

 _Auvie was alone with Undyne._

Well. _This was awkward. Auvie wondered if she should try to break the silence._

 _Undyne was looking away. She didn't seem interested in talking._

Probably shouldn't say anything, then. _Auvie examined her cup. She_ _ **was**_ _pretty hungry, even if it was Papyrus's spaghetti._ Should I just… slurp it up? _Doing so would likely annoy Undyne. Was it worth it?_ _Maybe it was worth it_.

 _"Look."_

Or not. _Auvie faced Undyne. "Huh?"_

 _Undyne seemed oddly contemplative. "Sans told me about your situation. I know I can't take your soul."_

 _Auvie had no idea what to say. "Okay."_

 _Undyne shifted under the blankets. "He and Papyrus... I can tell that they trust you. And for what it's worth, you seem nice. So… I'm not gonna kill you."_

Whew. _That was a relief. Auvie smiled. "Thanks."_

" _BUT." A hand shot out and gripped the top edge of the couch._

 _Auvie yelped, nearly dropping her cup._

 _Undyne was leaning over her, a deranged look in her eye. "If you EVER hurt anyone, or do ANYTHING to even REMOTELY make me regret my decision, I will pound you SO hard, THE DIRT WILL BE PERMANENTLY GRAFTED TO YOUR_ _ **FACE**_ _!" Her face was now inches from Auvie's. "GOT IT!?"_

 _Auvie winced at the volume._ Yup. I can hear her now. _Shakily, she gave Undyne a thumbs up. "Absolutely. You have_ _ **no idea**_ _just how much I got that." Her ears were still ringing._

 _Undyne sneered. "_ _ **Good**_ _." She returned to her sitting position._

" _IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE?" Papyrus's voice came from his bedroom. "I HEARD SHOUTING. WHAT IS HAPPENING?"_

 _Undyne grinned. "I was just showing the human how AWESOME my voice is!"_

" _OH, WOWIE!" Papyrus sounded delighted. "THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN! CAN I JOIN IN?"_

" _Sure! Just get in here, NERD!"_

 _Auvie hunched over her cup, drinking its noodle-y insides without so much of a thought._

 _She liked her new friends._

* * *

Auvie stirred.

Yet another memory of her time spent in the other dimension. _Man, that was a lot of fun_ , she thought with a smile. Who knew that accidentally ending up in another dimension could lead to such great friendships?

Her smile faded.

 _God, I miss them._

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and sat up. The wooden slats of the bench had left marks on her back. _Great._ She rubbed her back as she stood up from the bench. She needed to get back to the focal point to work with it further. _Hopefully, Undyne won't be there this time. That would be nice._ She walked over next to the bench and knelt down.

Camouflaged against the ground was a thick, plastic flap. She lifted it.

The cooler was full of bags of "popato chisps." Auvie had only found it after she'd given up on finding food last night. _Sorry, Sans_ , she thought, taking out a couple of bags. _Looks like I owe you even more._ She closed the cooler, picked up a sharp rock, and carved _I O U 4_ in the dirt below the cooler.

She ate the chips for breakfast.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

The bed Sans woke up in was unfamiliar to him.

 _what the fuck?_ Sans lifted the blood red covers off of him and looked around.

Oh, right. This was Papyrus's room.

 _last night, after what happened, he wanted to sleep in the same bed._ It was weird for a number of reasons; one, Papyrus never really slept, and two… _pap doesn't tend to appreciate physical contact very much. including with me._ But last night had been unusual for other reasons, anyway.

 _maybe I can catch him before he leaves._ Sans got out of the coffin-shaped bed and teleported downstairs.

There Papyrus was, in the kitchen.

 _looks like I caught him._ Sans walked in. "hey, bro. sup?"

"DID YOU MAKE THE BED?" Papyrus hung up a pot.

Sans frowned. _wow. good morning to you, too._ He teleported upstairs, quickly made Papyrus's bed, then came back. "yup. just now. how you been?"

"DID YOU FLUFF THE PILLOWS?" Papyrus was cleaning the stovetop.

Sans gave him an incredulous glare. _you don't even use the bed that fucking- fine, whatever._ Went upstairs. Fluffed the pillows. Came back. "yeah, okay, the pillows are fluffed. **good morning** , bro."

Papyrus turned to him. "GOOD MORNING, BROTHER. IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU."

Finally. Sans flashed a grin. "good to see you too, pap."

 _I'm just…_ _ **really**_ _happy to see you._

He pushed the sudden recollection out of his mind.

"YES." Papyrus awkwardly pulled on the edge of his glove. "LAST NIGHT… I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE. IT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS ON MY PART."

Sans shrugged. "no biggie, bro. I was crying too, remember? that shit happens sometimes." _did you mean it? what you said?_

"I SUPPOSE YOU'RE RIGHT." Papyrus drew himself up, his expression becoming a touch sour. "AM I CORRECT IN ASSUMING THAT YOU WILL BE GOING TO YOUR POST TODAY, REGARDLESS OF WHAT I SAY?"

Sans pondered it. _maybe I shouldn't. I've fucked up enough already, haven't I?_ He closed his sockets. _nah._ He couldn't give up this time. "yup. got a duty to the kingdom."

Papyrus stared at him in silence.

 _what's his deal? is he trying to guilt me into not going?_ Sans didn't budge.

Papyrus crossed his arms. "BROTHER, I WOULD HOPE THAT YOU WOULD BE HONEST WITH ME."

Sans's ridges went up. _where is_ _ **this**_ _coming from?_ "yeah. I **am** being honest. I'm going to work today, whether you like it or not."

Papyrus shook his head. "NOT ABOUT THAT. WHY ARE YOU _REALLY_ DOING THIS? YOU CAN TELL ME, I WON'T JUDGE YOU." He did the tapping thing.

Sans was baffled. _what the hell? what's he expecting me to say?_ "because I'm supposed to, and also because I want to bash the human's stupid face in?" _why else would I do this?_

Papyrus narrowed his sockets. "VERY WELL. WE'LL DO THIS THE HARD WAY." He began to pace. "WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY? DID YOU END UP FACING HER IN COMBAT?"

 _is this an interrogation?_ Sans was beginning to regret showing him those old noir films. "no. she, um, ran away before I could."

Papyrus tilted his head in that annoying way. " _SHE_ RAN?"

Sans pushed his hands into his pockets. "uh, _yeah_. she didn't want to fight me."

"HMMM." Papyrus continued pacing. "DID YOU SEE HER AT ALL AFTER THAT?"

 _where's he going with this…?_ "no. I was at my post for the rest of the day."

"HM." Papyrus narrowed his eyes even further.

Sans just stared at him.

"HMMMM." Papyrus's sockets were basically slits now.

 _what's he_ _ **doing**_ _?_ Sans snorted. "bro, what-"

 _Swish._ Papyrus's finger pointed accusingly at Sans. "YOU _LIKE_ HER, DON'T YOU?"

A jolt ran through Sans's body. " _like_ her? the fu- no!" Sweat started to form.

Papyrus's finger didn't move. "YOU WANT HER TO LIKE YOU BACK! YOU WANT HER TO COVER YOU IN SMOOCHES USING HER DISGUSTING HUMAN LIPS! THAT IS SO GROSS! I CAN'T _BELIEVE_ YOU, SANS!"

Sans gaped at him. "do you have _any_ idea how dumb you sound right now?" Red hair. Blue eyes. "she's the **enemy**!"

"YES! EXACTLY!" Papyrus threw up his hands. "AND BECAUSE SHE IS THE ENEMY, I AM AFRAID THAT YOUR AFFECTION TOWARDS HER WILL PREVENT YOU FROM DOING YOUR JOB!"

Red hair. Blue eyes. _shut up._ "well, that's real fuckin' unlikely, because _**there's no affection there**_!"

"YOU CANNOT LIE TO ME. JUST NOW, YOU MADE THE GOO-GOO EYES!" Papyrus twisted his face in what was probably supposed to be a smitten expression. "YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOKED LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO!" He glared at Sans. "I ONLY SAW IT FOR A SPLIT SECOND, BUT IT WAS _THERE_."

"y-yeah, well…" _fuck, he's just gonna keep going if I don't do something._ " **you** want to make friends! that's pretty fucked up!" It wasn't actually that fucked up, but Papyrus didn't seem to think so.

Papyrus was horrified. "HOW _DARE_ YOU! I WISH TO FORM ALLIANCES OF CONVENIENCE. IT IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT! FRIENDSHIP IS THE WORST!" He spat out the word "friendship" like it was a clod of dirt.

Sans grinned. _now I've got him._ He held out a clenched fist. "hey. hey, papyrus. got something to show you."

Papyrus leaned back, eyeing Sans's fist warily. "WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE HOLDING?"

"it's **friendship**." Sans advanced towards him, teeth gleaming.

In a flash, Papyrus's back was pressed against the furthest wall. He was clawing and hissing.

Sans inched forward. "what's wrong, bro? don't you wanna see it?"

"GET THAT AWAY FROM ME! I DIDN'T KNOW FRIENDSHIP COULD BE ENCAPSULATED IN SUCH A TINY FIST!" Papyrus was shielding his face now.

"heh. sorry. didn't know it bothered you so much." Sans extended his arm. " **guess I'll just drop it.** " He began to uncurl his fingers.

"NO! DON'T! IT'LL GET EVERYWHERE!" Papyrus flailed his arms. "ALL RIGHT, FINE! I HAVE TO LEAVE. BUT DON'T THINK YOU'VE HEARD THE END OF THIS, SANS!" He ran out of the kitchen and to the front door. "NYEH!" He slammed it behind him.

Sans lowered his fist, chuckling. _good ol' pap._ Then he scowled. _I do_ _ **not**_ _like auvie._ Yesterday had been an accident. A mistake. He wouldn't make it twice. _even if I don't fight her, she's_ _ **still**_ _going to pay._ He grabbed his breakfast and teleported to his station.

Undyne was already waiting for him.

Sans froze, his hand halfway into the bag of chips.

"Sans." Her voice was even.

"uh, hey, undies." The nickname slipped out before he could stop it. _shouldn't push my luck._ "sorry, boss. what's up?"

Undyne was stock-still. "The human has gotten better at avoiding me. I want you to track her down and report her position to me."

 _huh. okay. wasn't expecting that._ "why me?"

"You're fast." Undyne turned around. "Send me a message when you've found her. Do not engage her directly. Keep out of sight. Are we clear?"

 _fuck. guess this is what's happening now._ Sans saluted her. "yes, boss."

Undyne walked away, disappearing into the shadows.

Sans watched her leave. _well._ He utterly demolished the bag of chips. Undyne had just given him the perfect chance for vengeance.

Red hair. Blue eyes.

 _shut_ _ **up**_ _._ He crumpled the empty bag in his fist. He was going to help the kingdom, and he would do it by doing what he did best.

Being a pain in the ass.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

About twenty minutes after Auvie had left Sans's spot, she arrived at the stinky cheese room. _The smell hasn't gotten any better_ , she thought, plugging her nose. It made it kind of hard to concentrate, but she would have to deal. She went over to the focal point.

There it was. Hadn't changed at all. _I didn't really expect it to, but you never know_. She felt the fabric around it.

Huh. That was weird. There was a greater amount of energy; the fabric felt oddly tight. _That's new._ Gently, she pulled at the fabric.

A lightning-like sensation struck her fingers.

Instinctively, she let go. The fabric snapped back into position. _Holy_ _ **shit**_ _._ She rubbed her arm. It was still vibrating. _Fuck. I've never felt anything like that before._ That was worrying. She had expected to figure this out in about a week, and that was _without_ the fold changing at all. _This complicates things._

She summoned her sword and gingerly touched it to the fabric.

The fabric didn't react the same way, thankfully.

She pressed the sword further.

The fabric cleared, revealing the Buffer Zone.

All she could see was red static.

 _Okay, wow, that isn't normal._ Slowly, she took the sword off and dismissed it. Whatever was happening here, she had no idea how to handle it. _Dammit. I wish Sans were here_. The Sans from the other dimension might have known what this was.

She might be stuck here for longer than she expected.

 _Whoosh._

She bounced against the fabric, narrowly avoiding the harpoon. She looked down the passage.

Undyne was coming from the boardwalks this time. Another harpoon was already forming in her hand.

 _Of course she's here._ Auvie couldn't pull the same trick from last time, either. She looked down the opposite end of the passage.

She hadn't been that way before.

 _There's a first time for everything._

She gritted her teeth and ran.

* * *

Auvie stumbled to a halt, hands on her knees.

She was pretty sure that she'd lost Undyne.

She slumped back against the mossy wall, breathing heavily. That had _not_ been fun. Auvie had run through brambles and toxic gas to get away from her. _I don't_ _ **think**_ _I got any in my lungs._ That would be bad. She started to pull the stray thorns from the hems of her pants. _Stupid thorns-_

"you know, you're a sitting duck right now."

She was on her feet, sword at the ready before she recognized the voice. She dismissed her sword, sighing in relief. _It's Sans._ "Hi."

"why're you putting it away?" The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. "I could easily kill you right now. you have no idea where I am." A chuckle reverberated throughout the tunnel.

 _That's true_. This place had really great acoustics. She leaned back against the wall. "You probably could. Kind of hoping you don't, though."

There was a long silence.

"you're really fucking lucky I'm feeling so generous right now," the voice finally replied.

Auvie smiled. "Thanks." She bent down and continued to pull thorns from her pants, feeling slightly awkward. _Is he watching me, too? Probably is. Just watching me pull stuff off of my pants._

"hey, just because I'm not gonna kill you right now doesn't mean you should relax." The voice became growly. " **you stole from me, remember?** "

 _Stole?_ Oh, the chips. "Yeah. Sorry."

There was a snort. "'sorry?' you even had the nerve to vandalize my special spot. 'I O U 4'? what _is_ that, a band name or something?"

She had to try really hard not to laugh. "Actually, it means what it sounds like. I _owe_ you four. Four bags of chips."

A moment of silence. "I knew that." The words were mumbled.

She was tempted to cover her face with her hand, but she knew that would just muffle her voice. "Is- is that not an expression down here, or-"

"what were you doing back there, anyway?" The voice cut her off. "that weird… dimension shit."

 _He was watching back there?_ "Oh, that." She suddenly found it hard to talk. "I… I was looking for a way out." _I probably shouldn't be telling him this, but…_

"a way out of this dimension? what, leaving so soon?" He sounded mocking.

She took a deep breath. "Not exactly."

"oh." That was the only thing he said.

 _He's not going to ask me what I mean?_ Just as well; Auvie didn't feel like explaining. She dusted herself off and started walking down the tunnel.

"hey, look who's running away," the voice sneered. "am I _bothering_ you?"

She stopped. "Not at all! I just wanted to see more of this place. I, um, assumed you would follow me." She felt a slight sinking feeling in her chest. "Sorry. Should have communicated."

"why the fuck are you apo- of course I'm going to follow you, **you're not getting away from me.** " The voice sounded closer this time.

The sinking feeling disappeared. She pulled down her hat to hide her smile. "Okay, then." She continued down the passage.

This place was obviously ancient. Moss crawled down the cracks in the walls. The marks on the stone underneath her feet almost resembled a pattern. _Is this another "history" place?_ Auvie vaguely remembered reading the plaques on the walls in that tunnel where she'd fought Sans. _I don't want to think about that, though._ The things that had happened there had scarred her. "This place is _old_ ," she said. "Is this another 'Hall of History'?"

"do I sound like a fucking tour guide?" His voice was flat.

She grinned. "Actually, you do. Sort of." The way his voice echoed throughout the chamber resembled an intercom.

He didn't say anything.

 _I didn't upset him, did I?_ She hadn't meant to.

"kshhht." His voice returned. "this is sans, your tour guide, calling to say… you're a fucking dumbass…" He trailed off.

Auvie laughed.

"that wasn't even that… I insulted you." The sound of a cough, or a suppressed chuckle; she wasn't sure which. "you just gonna take that?"

She shrugged. "I guess so. Wouldn't want to insult my tour guide."

"whatever." The voice faded a bit.

The next sight she saw made her breath catch in her throat.

There was a gigantic statue of a creature. It had long, curled horns like a ram and sharp teeth that were bared in a snarl. Colored lights flickered in its hands – magic, probably – and its snout pointed downward, eyes glaring at anyone beneath it.

Auvie had never been to this location in the other dimension, but she doubted she would have seen anything like _this_ there. "It looks monstrous," she remarked.

Then she realized what she had said.

"no shit." The voice was bitter. "we're _monsters_."

 _Dammit, that_ _ **was**_ _dumb_. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking." She could be so stupid. _How many times have I made that mistake in the other dimension?_ "I really didn't mean…"

"forget about it." His voice almost sounded casual. "he was the best among us. if he's a monster, then monstrous is a compliment."

There was a placard on the statue's base. Auvie went over to look at it.

IN MEMORY OF ASRIEL

201X

 _Asriel._ Auvie remembered the story; Undyne and Papyrus had told it to her one snowy evening. _Wonder if it's the same here._ It didn't seem like a good idea to ask; not right now, anyway. She kept going.

"you know, I've been meaning to ask you something." His voice continued to follow her.

"Really?" Auvie marveled at the murals on the walls. It was a shame they were so faded; they must have been incredible when they were first made.

"yeah." His voice was dry. "what the fuck does 'swelldibulous' mean?"

 _Swelldibulous?_ She grinned. _Is this the setup to a joke?_ "Um, I don't know. What _does_ it mean?"

"you don't… remember saying it?" The words shook with barely restrained laughter.

She snickered. "No. Is- is that even a word?"

"that's what _I_ want to know!" He sounded… indignant? Amused? "so you're telling me you just walked out on me, on our fight, making up fucking words?"

"Oh, you mean in that… 'Hall of History' place?" She had felt dazed back then. "I was pretty out of it. That's probably why."

"yeah, I figured," he replied. "explains why you said…"

She waited.

He didn't finish the sentence.

"Why I said what?"

"nothing," he grumbled.

 _Well, sheesh._ _Now he has me curious._ Auvie decided not to press any further. She continued on her path.

The end of the tunnel was in sight. It looked like it opened up into a larger cavern. She walked up to it.

"wait."

She stopped.

"before… you said…" His voice was unexpectedly hesitant. "you said that you were happy to see me. do you remember that?"

Slowly, she turned around. "Yes."

"did you mean it?" His voice was so quiet, she could barely hear it.

She felt her cheeks flush. "Yeah." _Is he going to ask me why?_ _I kind of hope he doesn't._ She didn't think she could handle it.

He didn't say anything for a bit. "would you be happy to see me right now?"

She swallowed a hard lump in her throat. _Why am I so nervous?_ "Sure."

Another long pause.

Auvie suppressed the urge to fidget. _Is he there? I can't see him_.

At last, the voice returned. "toooo fucking bad. later." There was the sound of crumbling stone, then silence.

She snorted. _Wow. What a punk._ Oddly enough, she was actually relieved. Not because she didn't want to see him, but… She shook her head. _Undyne might catch up to me soon. I should keep moving._ She left the tunnel.

The path outside was bumpy and uneven compared to the tunnel floor. Auvie nearly tripped over a rock. _Whoa. Okay, I need to watch where I step here._ She maneuvered her way over to a flatter area. Then she hazarded a glance at her surroundings.

They were stunning.

Dark swamp water extended before her eyes. On its surface floated hundreds of lily pads, some of which carried flowers atop them. Large yellow crystals and green mushrooms jutted out from the sides and top of the cavern, casting their combined glow over the scene.

In the distance, its image perfectly mirrored on the water, there was a castle.

Auvie's eyes were wide with wonder. _I hadn't expected the last sight to be topped so soon._ "It's amazing." Her words were hushed with admiration.

"damn straight it is," a voice muttered beside her.

Her muscles tensed. _He's here?_ She turned her head in the direction of the voice.

Nobody was there.

 _I didn't imagine that._ Auvie's mouth twitched into a smile. She gave the landscape one last look, then continued on her way.

For a place that was supposed to be dark and horrible, there sure were a lot of wonderful things here.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans grimaced as he watched her walk into the next set of caverns. _that's done._ He turned on his cell phone and checked his conversation with Undyne.

 **she's here. second hall of history.**

 **the one with the memorial statue.**

 **Good work.**

 **I'm setting up a trap. Find a way to distract her.**

 **Don't let her see you**

 **yes boss**

Sans fired off another text. "stalled her for as long as I could, she's headed your way," he said as he wrote it. He hit send. _damn, auvie's in for a nasty surprise_ , Sans thought. He almost felt bad for her.

Red hair. Blue eyes.

He wanted to smash his skull against the fucking wall, if only to make the thoughts go away. _shut up, shut up,_ _ **shut up**_ _._ He didn't _like_ her. The only reason he'd even talked to her earlier was for the sake of distracting her. _I said some pretty stupid shit._ It didn't matter; it had done its work. Now all he needed to do was let Undyne's trap take care of the human, and then he could move on with his life.

His phone pinged.

Sans pulled it out of his pocket.

 **Go to the dump.**

 _the dump?_ Sans sent a response. "why?"

Her answer was immediate. **She might escape.**

Sans grunted. That did _not_ give him confidence. _it's just a precaution. undies is playing it safe._ "aye aye, cap'n." He typed it out, stowed away his phone, and took the shortcut to the dump.

 _now I'm in fucking garbage land. hooray._ He found a comfy looking spot and propped up his feet. _this is pointless._ Undyne would take care of the human; she never gave up.

Auvie was done for.


	5. Chapter 5: Bridging the Gap, Part 2

**Author's Note:**

 _Finally._

Sheesh, this one took a long time! I kept saying that I'd finish it one weekend, only for it to be extended into the next one! Thankfully, this is my longest chapter yet, so I didn't keep you waiting for nothing!

I've mentioned this before, but my interpretation of certain characters relies on my own headcanons, which I've posted on my blog. Check out the link on my profile if anything confuses you! It should be in the "Underfell Words" tag.

Also, if you like the Dancetale AU and want a _supplement_ to your sin, look up "Dancetale" on my blog and click the respective links to see what Auvie and Underfell Sans would dance like!

Happy Valentines Day.

* * *

Jump. Jump. Dodge.

There were fewer harpoons than before, but it didn't mean much when carnivorous plants snapped at her heels.

Jump. Duck. Twist.

Auvie had fallen right into Undyne's trap. _She must have been waiting for me._

Cross. Twist. Duck.

She was out of breath.

 _I can't keep this up._

Jump. Jump. Jump.

 _ **Snap.**_

The plant's jaws tightened around Auvie's heel. She winced in pain. _Shit._ She transferred over to an empty section of boardwalk. She tried to run, but the burning sensation in her ankle wouldn't let her. _Shit, shit, shit._ She glanced down.

Undyne was gaining on her.

 _If I cross the fabric more, I might be able to put some distance between us._ She did so, flashing in and out of the Buffer Zone.

Up ahead, it looked like the path ended. _A dead end._ _Maybe I can-_

 _ **Crack**_ **.**

The boards under her feet gave way, and before she knew what was happening, she was tumbling into darkness.

* * *

The first thing she noticed was a sweet scent.

Auvie opened bleary eyes.

She was currently lying on a bed of yellow flowers.

There were rows of spikes on either side of her.

 _Yeesh._ It was a really good thing she'd landed on the flowers. _Did they break my fall? How?_ She'd fallen at least ten feet; it would have to be pretty thick for her to land safely. She pushed down on it. _Doesn't seem_ _ **that**_ _thick. Ah, well._ She stood up and brushed herself off; her ankle wasn't hurting anymore. _Good_. She looked around.

Ahead of her was a long stretch of shallow water. At least, it looked like water; it was hard to tell with all of the garbage.

 _Undyne might still be after me_ , she thought grimly. It wouldn't be wise to stay in one place.

Slowly, she placed her foot on an ancient set of drawers and stepped onto it.

It held under her weight.

 _Whew_. She carefully made her way across the garbage.

The space was crowded with discarded things: old suitcases, coat hangers, and… was that a lava lamp? _I've always wanted one of those._ It looked like there was a number of cool stuff to be found here. _This must be the dump._ She had gone to the dump in the other dimension with Sans before; apparently, it was to find "machine parts" or something along those lines. _It was tidier than this, though._ The idea of a tidy dump still struck Auvie as ironic.

There was an upright nightstand a short distance away; it was too far to jump, though. She crossed over the fabric and landed neatly on top of it.

It cracked under her weight, tilting to the side.

 _Uh oh._ She flailed her arms in an attempt to keep balance. _Can I shift over somewhere? Can I-_

It was too late. She only managed to get her feet under her before she fell backwards into the garbage water.

Water seeped into her shoes and between her toes. The coldness enveloped her feet. She let out a noise that was something between a whimper and a groan. _I'm wearing_ _ **socks**_ _._ All of her previous delight at this magical trash place dissipated. _This_ _ **sucks**_ _._

In the distance, she could hear something like a chuckle.

She held still and listened.

The sound was gone.

 _Well. There's no point trying to stay above the water now._ With a sigh, Auvie started wading through the rubbish, shuddering at the sensation of wet socks on skin.

As she made her way through the dump, she tried to distract herself by looking at the various knick-knacks floating around her. There was a sponge. A clothing rack. A plastic tub full of math textbooks. _Maybe I should play one of those "alphabet" games_ , she mused. _Might pass the time._

Her eyes were drawn to a nearby pile of trash.

Sticking out of the top of was a weirdly shaped handle of some kind.

 _Is that what I think-?_ Like King Arthur drawing Excaliber out of a stone, she pulled on the handle. It easily emerged from the pile of trash.

She was right.

It was a recorder.

 _Huh._ Auvie suddenly felt wistful. Back in her home dimension, she used to teach herself songs on recorder. Didn't do it as much nowadays; there weren't many opportunities. _Maybe I should hang on to this?_ Then again, the recorder was probably in the dump for a reason. Plus, there was no way she was putting her mouth on it after finding it in a pile of trash. She sighed and started returning it to the pile.

Right next to where she had pulled it out, there was a small bag with a label that said "recorder maintenance kit."

Her eyebrows went up. _That's convenient._ She opened it. Inside, there were various brushes and rags for cleaning it. There was even a bottle of sanitizing fluid.

 _Okay, screw it._ Her mouth set in a hard line. _I'm cleaning this recorder._ She was probably going to be stuck in this dimension for a while, anyway _. Might as well take up an old hobby._ She found a ratty armchair nearby; after patting and swiping away the dirt covering it, she sat down and got to work.

The inside of the recorder was absolutely disgusting. _Ew. Good thing I didn't try to play it._ That would _not_ have gone over well. She held back a retch and ran a brush through it to clean out the gunk. It came away surprisingly easily. _Look at me. Cleaning a recorder right after a chase._ It was a good thing Undyne hadn't followed her here; she was making herself an easy target.

 _you know, you're a sitting duck right now._

Auvie's mouth twisted as she remembered the words. She'd been happy to hear from Sans, but she still didn't know what to make of their… thing. After all, she had a promise to fulfill. She couldn't stay here forever. _Then again, I might have to, if that problem with the dimensional fabric persists._ Not a very pleasant thought.

Not a completely unpleasant one, either.

She finished her work and held up the clean recorder. It looked good as new. _Let's see if it actually works._ She brought it to her lips and played a few notes.

They came out clear.

 _Victory._ She curled her hand in a celebratory fist.

As she leaned forward, her shoes _squelched_ , reminding her of the situation. _I should probably get moving_. Reluctantly, she tossed both the maintenance kit and the recorder into the air, where they vanished. She didn't like using her pocket dimension, because things often disappeared when she put them there, but she didn't have many options at this point. She pushed off the couch, fiddled with her hat, then kept going.

In the far wall, she could see a small passageway. _Looks like I'm almost out of the dumps._ She shook her head in disbelief at her own stupid joke.

Her foot caught on something.

 _Oh, dammit._ She stumbled around, trying to stay upright. Her hands found something, and she held onto it as she regained her balance. She took a deep breath. _That was close._ She looked at the object that she had grabbed.

It looked like a mannequin of some kind. Not a human mannequin, but a monster mannequin.

She studied it, fascinated. _Of course monsters have mannequins. They have books, don't they?_ She cleared her throat and spoke in a deep, posh voice. "Excuse me, friend, I did not mean to be a bother. Thank you for being such a support." _Wow, this is silly._ She gave the mannequin a quick pat and started to walk away.

A voice came from behind her. "Oh, it's NO problem. Go ahead, use me as an armrest. I don't mind."

Auvie nearly jumped out of her skin. She spun around.

The mannequin had developed eyes, which it now rolled at her. "You actually heard me? What a pleasant surprise."

Auvie covered her mouth with her hands. _Holy shit._ "I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know you were alive, otherwise I totally wouldn't have-"

"You assumed that, just because I was stationary, I wasn't alive? I see. That makes perfect sense." The mannequin wobbled back and forth in an exaggerated motion. "How about now? Can you tell that I'm alive _now_?"

 _Okay. They seem… a little bit hostile._ Auvie gave an uneasy smile. "I'm sorry for assuming. I'll be leaving now. Won't bother you any more." She turned around to leave.

There was a _sploosh_ , and the mannequin erupted from the water in front of the archway. They hovered in place, silent.

Auvie blinked. _Whoa._ That wasn't alarming in the slightest. "Uh, I need to go that way."

"Go ahead." They weren't even looking at her.

Auvie stared at them for a moment, then tried to move past them on the right.

They moved in front of her.

 _What are they…_ Auvie tried to pass them on the left.

They moved in front of her again.

Auvie was feeling mildly exasperated now. "You're not really letting me past you."

The mannequin turned up their… snout? "I have no idea what you're talking about. I've been perfectly accommodating this whole time."

 _Like hell you have_. It seemed as if Auvie couldn't just walk past. She began to transfer past them.

A ball of energy hit Auvie's back.

She yelped and stumbled, losing her grip on the fabric. _What the hell?_ She squinted up at the mannequin.

Their expression was aloof.

 _Now this is just annoying._ Auvie's brow furrowed. "Is there a problem?"

"I don't know," they replied, shooting her an imperious glare. "IS THERE?"

Suddenly, balls of energy were coming from everywhere.

 _Shit!_ Auvie flashed away to avoid them. She pulled out her blade just as more balls of energy formed, successfully deflecting them. They sputtered as they hit the water.

 _Are they trying to_ _ **fight**_ _me?_ Auvie looked up at her opponent.

The Passive-Aggressive Dummy was blocking the way.

 _Guess they are._ She readied her sword and prepared for combat.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans allowed himself to be entertained by the image of Auvie facing off against the dummy before he turned on his cell phone again. "near the exit of the dump. is currently occupied," he mumbled. He hit send.

He didn't have to wait long for a reply.

 **Keep tabs until I say otherwise.**

"roger." _send_. He wondered how long it would take for Undyne to get tired of the pirate references. _she's probably tired of them already._ Ah, well. Her orders were easy enough. He could do this all day.

Red hair.

Blue eyes.

 _for fuck's-_ "shut **up** ," he hissed. Sure, he wasn't too surprised when Auvie escaped Undyne's trap unscathed, but that didn't mean he was _happy_ about it. _the lady's practically an escape artist._ He doubted that there was a single cage that could hold her. Traps might get her, but not-

He had an idea.

 _there's a way I could end all of this_ , he thought. It would take a bit of preparation, though. And he'd have to defy Undyne's orders. _if it takes care of auvie, though, it's worth it. plus, she doesn't look like she's going anywhere soon._ Sans stood up and teleported away from his vantage point, a sinister smile on his face.

He'd find a way to deal with her.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

"It's just… it's just so HARD, you know?" The dummy sniveled.

"Uh-huh," Auvie replied, her voice tinged with exhaustion.

The dummy pressed up against her. "I haven't even gotten much work lately because my boss says she's too busy 'dealing with the human' or whatever, so I'm just thinking, where does that leave _me_? How am I supposed to support my dreams if I don't get any work, y'know?"

Auvie smiled patiently. "Sounds really rough."

The dummy nodded emphatically. "And then you came along and you just- you just put your hands on me and treated me like I was nothing! And then you apologized, but you did it in this way that sounded _really_ sarcastic! I mean, today was… I…" The dummy flopped their head on her shoulder and started bawling.

Auvie just let them. It had been ten minutes ago that their battle begun. It had been all tooth and nail until about five minutes ago, when Auvie had asked about their feelings. _And now we're talking about them._ She was a little tired and overwhelmed, but everyone needed a shoulder to cry on once in a while, and she could tell that they needed this.

The dummy was hiccuping now. "I feel… really stupid… crying like this…"

She patted the dummy in a way that she hoped was reassuring. "Well, at least you're communicating these feelings openly. That's better than bottling everything up."

"I-I guess," the dummy gibbered. "b-but the Underground doesn't think too well of monsters who c-cry."

 _I'm not surprised._ "That doesn't sound healthy. Why's that?"

The dummy gave her a look of astonishment. "Why, because it's a sign of WEAKNESS, of course. If another monster came down here, and saw me crying like this-"

"hey…"

The dummy shot up a foot in the air and landed straight up and down, quivering like a rod.

The source of the voice was a pale gray ghost hovering near the archway. Their eyes were half-lidded. "could you keep it down… i can hear you through my headphones…"

Upon seeing who it was, the dummy seemed slightly relieved.

Auvie's eyes lit up with recognition. "Napstablook?" She'd met the ghost a few times back in the other dimension – they were the ones who lent her earmuffs.

The ghost turned to her. "do i know you?"

She couldn't think of what to say. "Umm, no."

"oh… that's… really creepy…" Napstablook turned to the dummy. "anyway, could you cry somewhere else? I'm working on my mixtape, and it's distracting…"

The dummy made a _hmph_ noise. "Oh, of course. Here I am, crying my eyes out, and you don't bother to ask if I'm even okay. That's just _so_ typical of you."

Napstablook was unflappable. "are you okay. Also, could you be quieter, you're annoying me."

The dummy gasped.

 _Uh, okay._ Auvie glanced between the two of them. "So, you two know each other, then?"

The dummy wore something close to a frown. "What, you think that just because we're two ghosts, we must know each other?" They paused. "Well, yes, actually."

"we went to the same high sghoul," Napstablook added. "but there's only one in the entire underground, so… yeah…"

"Oh." The other Sans and Papyrus had told Auvie about school in the Underground – apparently, it was somewhere in the Capital. She'd even seen some of Papyrus's old school photos, which were absolutely amazing. _Wonder what the school here is like._ She tried to picture the Sans from this dimension as a kid, and couldn't help but giggle, despite her exhaustion. Or perhaps because of it.

"What's so funny?" The dummy seemed offended.

Auvie waved a hand dismissively. "It's nothing." _Hey, maybe I could ask about that._ "So, did Sans go to your school, too?"

The dummy's snout wrinkled. "Ugh, Sans the skeleton? He did at one point, I guess. But I don't want to talk about _him_."

Auvie's eyebrows went up. _That's quite the negative reaction._ "Why's that?"

The dummy sniffed derisively. "Don't you know? He's a sexual _deviant_. He makes a pass at anyone unfortunate enough to get close to him."

Auvie's heart sunk like a rock.

"Oh, yes," the dummy continued. "He's a bully, too. The people he doesn't hit on he _hits_. Or annoys. Or steals from."

"one time, he asked me if he could borrow a quarter…" Napstablook fell silent.

The dummy looked at Napstablook expectantly.

"he never gave it back…" Napstablook finished.

The dummy _tsk_ ed. "Terrible, terrible, terrible."

Auvie found it hard to speak; words felt heavy in her throat. _A sexual deviant_. "I… don't suppose there's any room for misunderstanding, or…" It was flimsy, and she knew it.

"What is there to misunderstand? He's a _jerk_." The dummy peered at her. "He hasn't done anything to you, has he? You should keep away from him."

Auvie smiled thinly. "Right. I'll keep that in mind." _A sexual deviant and a bully._

Nobody said anything for a few moments.

Eventually, Napstablook started floating away. "i'm going to work on my mixtape… don't make such a ruckus next time…" They were gone.

The dummy turned to Auvie. "I should leave, too. I have things to take care of." They looked to the side. "Thanks for… listening to me. I'm sorry for attacking you."

Auvie nodded, her mind elsewhere. "Sure."

The dummy stayed where they were for a second, their expression awkward. Then they zipped away in the blink of an eye.

Auvie was left behind in the silence.

 _A sexual deviant and a bully_. He did try to kill her multiple times. She didn't know why she was so surprised. Maybe she'd thought he'd attacked her strictly because she was human. _I didn't think he treated other monsters badly as well._ And a sexual deviant… certain parts of his behavior made sense now. _That's why he did that thing, and… that other thing._

Auvie put her face in her hands.

She'd fucked up _again_.

 _Why is this such a recurring thing for me?_ Every time she had a crush, she'd be too afraid to actually approach them, so she just idealized them without paying attention to who they really were. Time and time again, ever since she was little. She'd thought that she'd gotten _better_ about it, now that she was more likely to interact with them, but apparently not. _Sans… the other Sans was an exception._ But he'd been too good for her, and she knew it.

And now she'd done it again.

 _One of my many talents, I guess. I'm so imaginative, I can make someone into something they're not in my mind. Fantastic._ She was an idiot. She laughed bitterly.

Her voice trembled.

 _Fuck, I_ _ **liked**_ _him._

Unshed tears threatened to leak out of her eyes. She shut them tightly. _Don't you dare._ Not now. She'd spent way too much time here already; she was surprised that Undyne wasn't at her throat this very second. _I've got to keep moving._ There would be time for heartbreak later.

She gritted her teeth and walked toward the archway, her socks still wet.

* * *

It wasn't long before she encountered another problem.

The darkness yawned at Auvie. Its gaping maw had no teeth, but it didn't need any to terrify her.

She rubbed her arm nervously. _Maybe I went the wrong way._ There was something like a forge a few rooms back, but the occupant had seemed busy, and she hadn't wanted to bother him. _Maybe I should try knocking on Napstablook's door again, see if I can just hide out there for a while._ They'd been working on their mix tape, though; either they hadn't heard her knock, or they had purposefully ignored her. The house next to theirs was locked, which meant that the only other house she could hide in was Undyne's. Which didn't seem like a good idea.

So far, the only way seemed to be forward.

 _She wants this_ , Auvie realized. _Undyne wants me to keep moving; she wants to wear me out._ It was working, too; she didn't think she could keep going like this.

 _But I have to, for now_. Auvie took a deep breath and went into the darkness.

The faint glow of the mushrooms was a nice surprise. _That's one worry off of my mind._ She picked her way through the narrow pathways. The place was built like a maze. _Glow-in-the-dark mazes. Fuuuun._ Actually, that did sound like it'd be fun. In any other circumstance, anyway. She carefully watched where she placed her feet.

As she navigated the maze, she found herself going into a Zen-like state. Her thoughts wandered back to what happened with the dimensional fabric earlier. She still had no idea what had happened there. _Then again, I rarely do when it comes to this kind of thing._ Dimensional travel was one of those things you had to constantly adapt to. _Why do I do this again?_

She came to a section where the mushrooms were sparse. She couldn't see the path. _Hmm._ She summoned her sword, letting its hover a few inches above the ground. It lit up a small area around her. _That's better._ She kept going.

The blackness loomed at her in the places where her sword's light didn't reach. She shivered. Even with a sword in her hand, she _really_ didn't like going into dark areas like this.

The pathway opened up, and Auvie sighed in relief. _Finally_. She walked into the next room.

This room was even darker than the first one. It was dimly lit by yellow crystals, which occasionally protruded from the ground.

Auvie swallowed her fear. _You just need to get through this. It'll be fine._ She strode on ahead.

The darkness wasn't the only thing that intimidated her. This maze was even twistier than the last one; it had turns and loops and sharp angles. _This is going to take me a while_ , Auvie thought with considerable dread. She did _not_ relish the idea of spending time in this maze. She looked at her surroundings.

The light from the crystals was getting dimmer.

Her breath caught in her throat. _Shit_. She walked faster now, trying to keep a close eye on the direction of the path. It didn't do anything for her; she could be going in circles right now and she wouldn't know it. _Shit, shit, shit_. She picked up the pace even more. _I have to find the exit before the lights go out._ If the maze went completely dark…

She stopped.

Dead end.

 _ **Shit.**_ She spun around. _Come on-_

The lights went out.

Everything was quiet.

Auvie could hear her heartbeat in her ears. She held up the sword, but its feeble light was absorbed by the darkness; it wouldn't work well as a light.

 _I'm stuck_.

She was stuck here, at the mercy of whatever being came along next. _Undyne's probably going to ambush me at any second now._ And with her limited eyesight and minimal knowledge of the cave's layout, she wouldn't stand a chance. _I could try to cross the fabric…_ But with no idea of where to go, it wouldn't mean anything.

The darkness was suffocating. _Look at me. I have the ability to travel dimensions, yet I can't even handle a little darkness._ She dropped to the floor, curling up into a ball.

 _I'm useless._

A low growl came from behind her.

She leapt up and spun around, holding the sword out in front of her.

There was nothing behind her. Nothing she could see, anyway.

 _Oh, shit, not_ _ **this**_ _again._ This was just what she needed. She backed up slowly, trying to look for any sign of an enemy.

But there was nothing.

She considered the possibility of the enemy being behind her. She turned.

The growl was right next to her ear this time.

She twisted back and away.

The growl continued, getting closer and closer to her.

 _It almost sounds_ _ **metallic**_ _._ She kept backing up. The source of the noise seemed to be a little bit above her. _Maybe I should just swing my sword at it, try to scare it away._ As if that would-

The back of her foot banged into a wall behind her.

She winced in pain.

The growl faltered, trailing off. The sound changed as it did so, wavering.

Auvie's eyes widened in recognition.

It wasn't a creature that was growling.

Her mouth twitched.

It was a _trombone._

"Sans? Is that you?" Her voice was quiet. She had no idea why she would call out to him, considering what she had learned about him, but she was kind of desperate at this point. _Maybe he'll help._

The growling returned sevenfold.

 _Or not._ Apparently, he was too focused on trying to scare her. _What a jerk._ She decided to ignore him and try to navigate the maze. Oddly enough, it didn't seem like such a daunting task anymore. Not as daunting, anyway. She waved her sword from side to side, trying to increase the area lit up by her sword. It didn't do much.

The growling trombone followed her, growing more and more menacing by the second.

Auvie's eyebrow rose. _Really? He's still keeping this up?_ The sound didn't scare her anymore now that she knew it was an instrument. She dismissed her sword and stood still, crossing her arms.

The growling kept going, circling around her.

 _Perhaps I should try speaking to him in his own "language."_ It was a silly idea, but… She pulled out the recorder from the pocket dimension and held it to her lips. She blew into it, wiggling her fingers across the holes.

The result was something that wasn't quite music, but wasn't just noise.

The growling continued, getting closer to her.

She played again, insistently. The notes were higher this time.

The growling paused.

She waited.

It came back again, but this time it sounded more like a monotonous groan.

Softly, she played a few more notes.

The monotonous groan shifted into a defeated slide.

Auvie smirked.

The trombone made a few more noises. It moved until it was somewhere in front of Auvie. It blasted a note, which faded as it moved away from her.

 _What's he doing?_ She squinted up at the source, but to no avail.

The trombone blasted again, a bit farther away this time. The slide moved up and down.

 _Wait, does he want me to follow him?_ Was he going to lead her through the maze? Or was this a trick? Auvie didn't move.

The trombone played sharply this time, the pitch moving up at the end as if to say, _well?_

She snorted. _You know what, fine._ Auvie didn't have many other options; she'd just have to hope that he was leading her the right way. She moved her recorder to her left hand, summoned her sword, and followed the sound of the trombone.

The voice of the brass instrument guided her throughout the maze. As it did so, it made noises that sounded like talking - it had a rambling quality to it. It responded to her actions; whenever she nearly tripped over (which was a lot), she could hear something like an "uh-oh", and whenever she lagged too far behind, the trombone's tone seemed impatient.

One time, she had slammed straight into a wall. The response was a musical sting. She'd glared in his general direction, although she wasn't sure he could even see her face. His only reply was a whimsical noise that sounded vaguely like whistling.

Throughout this experience, Auvie kept trying to wipe away the grin that wanted to rest on her face. _He's not who I think he is._ He'd obviously done some pretty ugly things to get a bad reputation in a dimension like _this_. She couldn't trust him too much, even if he was helping her out now.

And even if his sense of humor was pretty good.

 _Dammit, I'm supposed to be_ _ **mad**_ _at him._ She tilted her face down to ensure that he didn't see her smile.

Eventually, the narrow path widened, and Auvie could see light up ahead. _Finally._ She took in a deep breath of relief. She looked to either side of her.

Neither instrument nor player was visible.

 _Guess he's already left. Figures._ Auvie wasn't exactly sure what she would say if she saw him, anyway. _Still, looks like he helped me._ That was something, at least. She walked to the tunnel exit.

"Hoillo there!"

She started and looked around.

"I say, down here, miss!"

She looked down at the ground.

Staring back at her was a small white creature dressed in a red business suit and a monocle. They had two sets of ears. "Good afternoon! How are you on this fine day?"

Auvie slowly blinked. _Who is…_ "Um, good! Thanks for asking. How are you?"

The creature nodded. "Oh, quite well, for the most part." They frowned. "Though I do have a problem."

"Really?" Auvie was really tired right now. _But I might as well ask._ "What's that?"

"First of all, allow me to introduce myself!" The small creature bowed. "My name is Temmily Temmerson the Temth. And I'm afraid I've fallen on hard times recently."

Auvie inclined her head politely. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"Oh, don't be, miss! You see, I believe you can help me with this problem." Temmily smiled broadly.

 _Uh oh._ "Actually, I don't I-"

"Nonsense! I'm sure you're perfectly capable of providing assistance." Temmily let out a shrill cry.

Suddenly, other small creatures wearing ripped business suits popped out of the dirt, holding tiny knives in their mouths. Their gazes were harsh and their smiles were wicked.

Auvie spun around.

She was completely surrounded.

"Give us everything in your pockets and no one gets hurt." Temmily's tone was still cheery, although they now had a steely glint in their eye.

 _Dammit! Did Sans set me up?_ Auvie tried to think fast. _I dismissed my sword as soon as I saw the exit._ She probably wouldn't be able to get it out in time. "I don't really have much on me. Like, next to nothing."

"That's fine! Everything helps." Temmily's look intensified. "Pockets. Out. **Now.** "

"Okay." _Maybe I could cross the fabric and try to outrun them._ But her body was worn out. She moved her hands to her pockets at a leisurely pace.

"Hurry up, now! Hop to it!" Temmily tapped their front paw impatiently. "We don't have all day!"

A loud growl came from the cave behind her.

The creatures jumped up, startled. They started quivering and chirping.

Auvie recognized the sound of the trombone. _Guess he didn't set me up then._ A smile pulled at her face.

Temmily's eyes darted around. They were clearly unnerved. "What on Earth was that?"

Auvie _tsk_ ed, shaking her head. "You were too loud. Looks like you woke up my attack rhino."

The growling halted, and Auvie heard a faint wheeze.

"Attack rhino?" Temmily was taken aback. "Does- does something like that even exist? How did you get one in the Underground?!"

Auvie shrugged. "I have my ways. But the important thing is…" She held the recorder close to her mouth. "I can make him attack by playing my recorder. So I suggest you back off."

The growling started up again.

The creatures edged away from the cave, their spasms and strange utterances becoming more and more noticeable.

A frantic look etched itself on Temmily's face. "No. No, you're _bluffing._ Ha. HA!" They turned to the other creatures. "You don't have an attack rhino! There's someone with a paper bag back there or something, isn't there?"

"No, there's definitely a rhino back there. You can check, if you want." Auvie drummed her fingers on her instrument.

Nobody moved.

"Okay," Auvie said after a while. "Why don't you all just leave, and we can pretend this never happened?"

One of the creatures took a step back.

Temmily turned to the creature in question. "NO. Hold your ground." They returned their attention to Auvie, eyes narrowed. "Fair enough. Let's assume for a second that you do, in fact, own an attack rhino. What's to stop us from – NOW! RUSH HER!"

The creatures dashed toward her.

 _Oh, shit._

The growl from the cave escalated into a mighty roar.

All of the creatures sprung into the air, then scattered, scrambling away on tiny white feet. There were cries of "NUUUU! teh bEEST AWAKENZ!" and "RAHHHN!"

Temmily looked around, eyes wide. "What? NO! Stay in formation! Dammit, you all sound _ridiculous_!" They looked over at Auvie, their fur damp with sweat.

Auvie tapped the recorder against her arm, face squirming in an attempt not to laugh.

Temmily's face spread into a psychotic, panic-stricken grin. "This… this isn't over! You have invoked the anger of the Temmie clan! WE WON'T FORGET THIS!" They threw something on the ground.

There was a loud _bang_ and a cloud of smoke, and they were gone.

Auvie couldn't hold it back anymore. She doubled over, cracking up. _Oh my god, that was_ _ **amazing**_ _._ Words couldn't describe how she felt right now. She took deep breaths, trying to steady herself. _I can't believe that just happened._

 _I would have been in a bad place if Sans hadn't helped me, though._ She turned to face the cave. "Sans?"

There was no response.

 _He's probably still there. Just remaining quiet._ Despite the things she'd heard… she knew she owed him her gratitude. "Thanks."

Again, no response.

 _Of course._ Auvie stowed away her recorder and started walking away. Her interactions with him were leaving her with mixed feelings. She honestly didn't know what to think of him. _He's funny, I'll give him that. And he really did help me out back there._ But she couldn't treat the things that were said about him lightly. _Dammit, I shouldn't have feelings for him._ And yet, there they were.

Her mind was going down a track that she couldn't afford to take right now. She pushed these thoughts out of her mind and tried to focus on the path ahead of her.

It was a narrow, dimly lit tunnel. Vines slithered down the walls. Rocks were interspersed among the dirt.

 _There really isn't much here to distract me, is there?_ Auvie sighed and kept going.

The lights were growing dim again.

 _Dammit._ Auvie pulled out her sword and quickened her pace. _Maybe I can get somewhere light before it goes out._

The light was fading fast.

She could barely see anything.

 _Just keep going, just keep going-_

Her feet made contact with the wall.

 _Another dead end?_ She was getting really tired of this. _There must have been another path back there. Maybe I can find it._

Suddenly, the lights came back on.

 _Oh, thank the maker_. She turned around. _Finding the other path will be much easier-_

Undyne stood just a few yards away.

Her jet-black armor shone in the yellow light.

 _Shit._ Auvie let out a long breath. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._ All of these distractions. All of these obstacles.

They had worn her out, and now she was easy prey.

 _Clank, clank, clank._

Undyne was coming closer.

 _There has to be some way out of this._ More running? Maybe she could cross the fabric to get past her?

 _Clank, clank, clank._

No. Auvie had run long enough. _I need to face her now. I've been avoiding this too long._ She couldn't run away from all of her problems.

 _ **Clank, clank, clank.**_

 _Maybe I can talk to her, avoid any fighting._ Knowing the other Undyne, however, the possibility that it would work was pretty remote. _I'll give it a shot, but..._

Undyne stopped, summoning a harpoon in her hand.

She was only a short distance from Auvie right now.

Auvie wasn't anywhere near ready for this. _I was never able to beat Undyne._ Still, she steeled her nerves and held her sword close to her side.

Like lightning, Undyne lunged forward, her harpoon descending-

* * *

 _Thud._

The mug came down on the counter's polished surface.

"So, hey, how much sugar you want?" Undyne was already preparing the tea bags.

Auvie scooted forward in her chair, resting her hands on the table. "Uh, two spoons, please."

Undyne scooped two spoons of sugar into one of the mugs. "You like milk? Trust me, you're gonna need it for this tea. It's _super_ bitter."

"Sure, that sounds great." Auvie leaned back in the chair, exhaling.

Wow.

That had been _easy_.

As soon as Auvie had explained that her soul couldn't be taken, and Undyne had tested the theory, Undyne had backed off. She'd even invited Auvie back to her place – well, if a hand beckoning and the words "Follow me," counted as an invitation. For whatever reason, Auvie _had_ followed her, and now…

Tea.

 _I didn't expect things to go so smoothly_ , Auvie thought, running her hands along the tabletop. She should have done this sooner, before she was so worn out. _So much of that stuff I went through earlier could have been avoided._ But it was what it was.

Undyne set the kettle to boil and came over, pulling out a chair and sitting across from Auvie. "Sorry again for putting you through all that. It's just that you were a human, and I had a job, you know?"

Auvie nodded. "Totally." _I think my legs are dead._

"Yeah. If I'd known that your soul wasn't obtainable and that you were willing to be peaceful and such, I wouldn't have set up all those traps." A wide and toothy grin spread across her face. "That said, don't make me regret my choice, a'ight?"

Auvie recalled Undyne's armored face looming out of the darkness. "I do _not_ plan on it."

"Cool. Oh, wait, that reminds me of something." Undyne pulled out a cell phone and fired off a text. "Sorry, I just needed to message someone." She stowed the phone in her pocket. "So, you came from the surface, right?"

 _Should I tell her the truth?_ "Um, kind of," Auvie replied.

Undyne shrugged. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. It's just that I've never heard of a human doing what you did out there. You were _fast._ Can all humans do that?"

Auvie shook her head. "I don't think so. Pretty sure it's just me."

"Huh." Undyne stroked the scars on the left side of her face – there were a lot of them. "I've heard humans are capable of some pretty crazy things. I just never expected to see anything like that. It was totally weird."

 _Undyne sounds_ _ **really**_ _different from how she did earlier._ Auvie considered asking her about it. "Um…"

The kettle started whistling.

Undyne put up a finger. "Hold that thought. I'll be right back." She got up and went back to the kitchen area.

As Undyne prepared the tea, Auvie became absorbed in her own thoughts. _This place looks nice._ It was pretty similar to the other Undyne's house, though the atmosphere felt more… mellow.

Undyne returned with two steaming mugs of tea. "Here ya go." She placed a mug in front of Auvie. "Just warning you, even with milk and sugar, it's still really bitter. But it'll put energy in you."

Auvie picked up the mug and sniffed. _Doesn't smell too bad._ Cautiously, she sipped at it.

Oh.

Undyne smiled at Auvie's face. "Told you."

Auvie smiled back, eyes bleary. _This tea is_ _ **intense**_. Undyne was absolutely right about it giving her energy, though; she could already feel the pain and exhaustion ebbing away. She sipped at it some more.

 _Ping._

The sound came from Undyne's direction. She pulled out her phone, frowned, and sent a reply. Then she set the phone down on the table. "So, before I went to get the kettle, you were about to say something."

 _Oh, right. What was I going to ask?_ Auvie remembered. "Um, your voice sounds really different. From when you were in your armor, I mean."

"You mean, **when I speak like this**?" Her voice was suddenly deep and powerful.

Auvie's eyebrows went up.

Undyne cleared her throat. "I use that voice when I'm on the job. Makes me sound aggressive and leader-y."

"Oh." _That makes sense._

 _Ping._

Undyne picked up the phone again. "Man, Sans is being _really_ chatty right now," she muttered.

Auvie's stomach felt like it was made of lead. She sat up. "Sans?"

Undyne glanced up at Auvie. "Uh, yeah. Skeleton from Snowdin. I just told him not to keep tabs on you any more." She smiled awkwardly. "I, er… kind of ordered him to track your progress. Set up distractions, hurry you along, that sort of thing."

A crack formed in a heart that should have been broken already.

Undyne seemed concerned. "Dude, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Auvie found herself saying. _That's why he talked to me in that Hall of History. And why he played trombone, and…_ She was so dumb for letting herself be broken twice. _Why did I expect anything else, after hearing what I did?_ "Things just… make a lot more sense now." She wanted to slump down in her chair, but she didn't let herself.

Undyne was silent. She kept looking between the phone and Auvie.

 _What's going on with her?_ Auvie stared back, confused.

Finally, Undyne set the phone down. "Okay, there's a story behind that face. Lay it on me." She leaned forward. "What's up? You know Sans?"

Auvie's mouth moved, but no sound came out. _What do I say?_ "I… sorta. We talked, once or twice." _And then he tried to kill me, and we geeked out over a book, and he fell asleep on me, and he called me "angel", and…_

Undyne squinted at Auvie. Then, slowly, her lips curled up to form a cat-like smile. "You're blushing."

Instinctively, Auvie clamped her hands over her cheeks. They just heated up further.

Undyne grinned widely, resting her head on her hands. "Shit, that's cute. You like him, huh?"

"N…" There was no use hiding it. Auvie covered her eyes with her hand. "Yeah. I like him." Tears started welling up. She squeezed her eyelids shut.

Undyne's voice turned dark. "Okay, what did he do?"

"To me? Not much." _Besides trying to kill me several times._ Auvie took a deep breath and opened her eyes, a bitter smile on her face. "But that doesn't really mean a lot if he's a 'sexual deviant' and a 'bully,' so…

"Sexual deviant? _Sans_?" Undyne snorted. "Where's _that_ coming from?"

The question caught Auvie by surprise. "Um, these two monsters told me. Apparently, he has a pretty bad reputation."

Undyne bit her lip thoughtfully. "Okay, maybe I could see why people would say that. But I don't think so."

"Really?" Auvie's hopes were getting up. _I shouldn't let them._ "What makes you say that?" She took a huge gulp of tea.

"We dated once."

The tea spurted from Auvie's mouth.

Undyne cackled. "Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I might have timed that on purpose. Damn, that was _awesome_."

Auvie coughed. "You _dated_ him?" _She… and him…_ _ **what**_ _?_

"Yup." Undyne twirled a finger through her hair. "Though it was, like, in elementary school. Really, really long time ago."

"Oh." Auvie could barely wrap her mind around it. "Uh…" _I have so many questions._

"You wanna know why someone like me ended up dating someone like him." Undyne cupped her mug of tea in her hands.

"Y-yeah. Kind of." _Among other things._

"Well, he was getting bullied a lot." Undyne's brow furrowed. "He's always been physically weak, you know? So the other kids would pick on him. One day, I got fed up with those punks, and…" She slammed her fist into her hand. "I beat the _crap_ out of them." She shrugged. "Then things kind of just happened."

 _There's a_ _ **lot**_ _left out of that story._ Auvie tried to picture the same thing happening in the other universe. It hurt her brain. "And you _dated_ him?"

"Yeah." She smiled helplessly. "The way he behaved and stuff, I just wanted to protect him? He was so _small_. I dunno, I guess I have a thing for tiny, angry nerds." Her cheeks glowed.

Auvie watched her over her mug of tea, intrigued.

Undyne's grin slipped. "Of course, I eventually found out that I wasn't _into_ dudes, so we broke up. Kind of became distant after that."

"Huh." Auvie's mouth twitched. This was a fascinating story, but she honestly didn't know what to make of it. _Sans and Undyne._ The way she'd explained it made sense; still, it was so _weird._

"Anyway, here's the point I'm trying to make." She leaned forward. "Sans can be a little turd sometimes. He does these messed up things in order to push people away." Her mouth twisted. "It's been years since we dated, and I can tell he's changed a lot. But I don't think he's a bad person."

A weight was lifted. "You think so?"

"Yeah. That said…" Undyne's face grew somber. "This culture we have as monsters… it messes you up in unexpected ways. Maybe he _has_ become a jerk. I dunno. Try giving him a chance, though. See how you feel."

Auvie nodded slowly. "Okay." _Wow. I'm taking romance tips from a fish monster that spent most of the day trying to kill me._

It was sound advice, though.

 _Ping_.

Undyne checked her phone again. Her eye lingered on the screen. "Could you hold on a sec? I'll be right back." She got up and left before Auvie could say anything.

Auvie sat in silence. The things that had happened were a lot to take in. _Sans was bullied as a kid._ She could totally see that, but it left her with a lot of questions. _He "pushes people away"? How does that play into the way that he's been treating me?_ She could tell that he didn't _hate_ her, and that there was some chemistry there, but-

Auvie's thoughts were interrupted by Undyne's return. She seemed… out of it. She kept rubbing her fingers together.

 _Is something wrong?_ "Uh, hi."

Undyne seemed to snap out of it. She smiled. "Hey." She leaned against the table. "So, what were your plans after this, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My plans?" Auvie hadn't thought about it. "Well, I was just going to go back to…" Sans's bench. _I probably shouldn't go back there, actually._ "I don't know."

"Wait…" Undyne's eyebrow raised. "Have you just been sleeping in the _dirt_ this whole time?

Auvie felt embarrassed. "Sort of. I mean, I couldn't really find a place to actually _stay_. And you were chasing me, so…"

Undyne nodded. "Okay, tell you what." She pushed off of the table and went away again.

 _Huh?_ This was sudden.

Undyne came back, holding a piece of paper, a coin, and… was that a can of body spray? "If you go back to where I last confronted you and keep going, across the bridges and into Hotlands, then you go down the stairs, you _should_ be able to find the river person." She gave the objects to Auvie.

"The river person?" Auvie looked over the objects.

"Yup." Undyne sat down. "Just give them that coin, and they'll take you to Snowdin."

"Oh." Auvie was having trouble following. "But won't the locals attack me if they see me?"

Undyne waved a hand. "I doubt it. Not unless you do anything to really upset them. They keep to themselves."

 _Do anything to upset them?_ That was… vague.

Undyne kept going. "Once you're there, you can take the piece of paper and show it to Grillby – the owner of the club – and the innkeeper. They should be able to give you a free meal and a room."

Auvie just nodded. _This is going to go horribly._ "Okay. What's the body spray for?" As soon as she said it, though, she knew. _I haven't taken a bath or shower in ages._

"To be honest, dude, you're kind of fresh right now." Undyne smiled sheepishly. "And while I consider sweat and dirt to be the perfume of warriors, not everyone agrees with me. Give yourself a few spritzes of that, it should last you until you take a bath or something."

Auvie read the can label. _Pond Lotus._ She uncapped it and sniffed. It smelled pretty good. _I was half expecting this to be musk, or something._ She quickly sprayed a small amount on her arms and neck before putting the can down and recapping it. "So, I just go down the same path that I was before?"

"Yeah, just keep going until you hit Hotlands, then take the south stairs." Undyne pulled out her phone to check the time. "You should probably leave soon if you want to catch them, though."

 _She's given me tea, directions, and a place to stay._ Auvie felt spoiled. She stood up. "Thank you so much for all of this. You've been a huge help, I don't know how I can repay you."

"REPAY me?" Undyne snorted in disbelief. "I've been chasing you down, trying to kill you all day! Believe me, this is the _least_ I can do to make it up to you." An expression of discomfort briefly flickered across her face. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Sure." Auvie smiled. "Thanks again, Undyne. See you later?"

"Count on it." Undyne grinned.

 _I… guess that's goodbye, then._ Slowly, Auvie walked over to the door and exited the house.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Once the human had exited the house, Undyne's smile lapsed. _I hope she follows the directions._ Considering how well she'd navigated Waterfall, though, that probably wasn't an issue. In fact, she might be a little _too_ good at finding her way.

 _Really hope she doesn't notice the river person's station near my house._

Undyne pulled out her phone and typed.

 **She just left. Should be headed your way.**

She sent it and then leaned back against the table. There _was_ a river person station in Hotlands, right where she said it was. It was just a ways away, across two bridges.

And Auvie would encounter someone before she got there.

 _Ping._

She pulled out her phone.

The message wasn't very verbose. **thanks boss**

 _Yeah, yeah._ Undyne grimaced. _Don't know why I'm humoring this loser._ She should have fired him by now. _Blame it on my weakness for nerds_. She tucked the phone back into her pocket.

It just occurred to her that she had sent an armed human to face a small, weak skeleton. _If this goes south, it'll be all my fault._ More dust on her hands… the dust of a childhood friend, no less. Still, the way Sans wrote, he seemed to have a plan. _I'll just have to trust him_ , she thought, drumming her fingernails on the table.

 _Hope you know what you're doing, pal._

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

It took much less time for Auvie to return to where she had made peace with Undyne. Mainly because she figured out – much to her embarrassment – that she could actually increase the brightness of the room just by touching one of the crystals whenever the light dimmed. Meaning that she could have made it through by herself earlier.

 _Ah, well, I'm here now_ , she thought as she looked around the tunnel. It was a lot less daunting without the darkness. She noticed a side path that she hadn't seen before. _I guess that's the way to go._ She went down the side path.

Her thoughts wandered back to what Undyne had said about Sans. _I hope she's right._ She still didn't know exactly what to make of their relationship, but she liked hanging out with him, and… _Even if I have to eventually leave, maybe something could be worked out?_ She didn't even know if he felt the same way about her, but it was something.

Auvie turned a corner and stepped into a large chamber.

The cave was split in two by a massive chasm. Long, sharp stalagmites and stalactites pierced through the inky blackness below and above her. The walls, which had previously been populated by all kinds of greenery, were now barren.

Extending across the gap was a sturdy metal bridge, suspended in the air by thick chains that hung from the ceiling.

 _Yikes._ It would _not_ be fun to fall into that chasm. _Good thing this bridge seems to be sturdy._ And it had railings, unlike the last two bridges she had encountered. She stepped onto the bridge.

It easily supported her.

Satisfied, she began to walk across. _The river person is probably still waiting for me, right?_ Undyne did say that she should hurry. _Maybe I should pick up the-_

 _Slam._

Auvie spun around.

The section of the bridge behind her was gone.

 _ **Shit**_ _._ She started to run.

 _Slam._

The section in front of her disappeared into the darkness below.

She teetered on the edge for a second before regaining her balance. She stood up and looked around.

She was stuck in the very center of the bridge.

 _What's the deal?_ Undyne and her had come to a truce. She shouldn't have encountered any more traps. _Did someone not get the memo?_

 _Did Undyne lie to me?_

There was a rumbling.

 _Ker-chunk._

The stalactites lowered a few inches.

 _Ker-chunk._

Then a few more.

 _Fuck._ She didn't know how to handle this. _Can I get over to the other side of the chasm?_ But she couldn't see it very well from here, and if she missed… _Should I run along the fabric to cross the gap?_ That might work, but she'd need to get a running start, and there wasn't much space to do that.

 _Wait, I know where I_ _ **came**_ _from._ She looked back. _I can just go back that way and wait for the trap to deactivate-_

"quite the predicament you're in, huh?"

A chill ran down Auvie's spine. She turned to face the source of the voice.

There was Sans, casually leaning on the bridge railing just a couple of feet away.

Auvie's heart rate skyrocketed.

"y'know, I can help you out of this situation." He examined his bony fingertips. "but it's gonna cost ya."

The stalactites continued their descent.

 _I have a way out of this._

Still, she felt the need to ask. "What… what's the price?"

Sans started walking towards her.

Intimidated, Auvie got the urge to take a step back, but resisted.

He kept walking until he was right in front of her. His eye was glowing red.

Auvie was tense. _What's he doing?_

His left hand shot out.

Auvie flinched.

It gripped the railing right next to her.

"you have to give me a kiss."

 _What?_ Auvie looked up.

Sans's wore a fierce grin. He was _really_ close to her. "you heard me. now what's it gonna be?" His breath was hot on her face.

 _Oh, god._ She wasn't ready for this. It was only a little while ago that she was questioning how she felt about him, and now this? _I have a way out._ If she wanted to, she could easily get out of this place. She returned her gaze to him.

His grin became even more menacing.

Auvie remembered what Undyne had said about him. _She thinks that, even though he's changed over the years, he's still a good person._ But there was doubt. _Should I trust what Undyne said?_ She'd enjoyed the time she spent with Sans, despite everything.

And if she was going to be honest…

She took a deep breath.

"clock's ticking." Sans's fingers tapped on the railing. "I don't have all-"

"Okay."

Sans's grin vanished. "wait, what?"

 _I'm really saying this, aren't I?_ Auvie's face was made of embers. She pulled her hat down and stared at the metal beneath her feet. "Um, sure? We can… we can kiss. If you, uh, want to."

The stalactites halted.

Silence ensued.

 _That was really awkward._ She peered at Sans from beneath her hat's rim.

He was sweating bullets. His pupils were tiny dots in his sockets. "uhhh, okay. fine. sure. yeah. fine."

 _Oh, god, this is actually happening._ Auvie straightened up. "So…" Her heart was aflutter, like a moth with wings aflame. And just as freaked out _._ "What, um…" Something occurred to her. "Wait, you're a skeleton. Can you actually kiss me?"

Sans gave her a disbelieving look. "are you fucking kidding me? of course skeletons can kiss! why the hell would I ask for a kiss otherwise?" His eyes kept darting between her lips and the air beside him.

"Really?" Auvie was genuinely interested. "How?"

"f-fuck, I dunno. they just _happen._ " He waved his hand around aimlessly. "magic or some shit."

"Oh, okay." A shaky smile made its way onto Auvie's face. "How… how do we go about this, then?" Her brain didn't seem to work.

"well, uh…" His teeth were gritted. He was looking everywhere but at her.

 _He… doesn't know what to do, either, does he?_ "Should… I come to you, or-?" She leaned forward ever so slightly.

"uh, no!" Sans held his hands out in front of him. They were shaking. "j-just…" He sucked air in through his teeth. "just stand still and close your eyes."

 _Stand still. Close eyes._ Auvie liked simple instructions; they reassured her. She inhaled through her nose and shut her eyelids, her heart like a drum in her chest. _So, I'm just waiting for him to kiss me._ Just waiting. She had no idea what it would be like. Would it hurt? _Probably not._ Still, she braced herself.

She was utterly unprepared for what came next.

…

It was absolutely nothing.

Auvie cracked open an eyelid.

Sans was nowhere to be seen.

 _Huh?_

She stared into the emptiness that he once occupied.

 _What in the world just happened?_

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

 _ **shit**_ _._

Sans plopped down into the small, dark area beneath his sentry station desk, breathing heavily. _shit. shit. shitshitshitshit_ _ **shit**_ _._ He pressed his hands on his temple. That wasn't supposed to happen. _**dammit**_ _._ He thought he'd had everything laid out: first, he'd put her in a situation that was difficult to get out of – a trap. Then he'd pop the question. And _then_ she'd be so disgusted by him that she'd actively avoid him until she exited this dimension, leaving Sans's life forever.

Fuck, she wasn't actually supposed to say _yes_.

 _I was fucking creepy! I was practically coercing her into kissing me! that_ _ **totally**_ _should have done it!_ Although, come to think of it, she probably could have escaped using her powers anyway. _fuck, I'm such a fucking numbskull_. Did she forget, too? Had she known that she could have escaped at any time?

Did she agree to kissing him, anyway?

His phone bleeped.

Undyne had texted him.

 _oh, fuck me._ This was just what he needed right now. Sans yanked out his phone and selected the Message application.

It opened up at an earlier point in their conversation.

 **New orders. The human is not to be harmed.**

 **have a trap set up for her**

 **Doesn't matter. Take it down.**

 **not that kind of trap**

 **is she with you?**

 **look, this is dumb but**

 **i need to test something with her.**

 **don't have the right to ask for this**

 **but it's important**

 **could you send her to the bridge, if she's there?**

 **the one in waterfall, not hotlands**

 **She doesn't get hurt.**

 **couldn't even if i fucking tried.**

 **i promise**

 **She just left. Should be headed your way.**

 **thanks boss**

Sans growled. He _hated_ when his phone acted up like this. "come on, you stupid piece of shit," Sans muttered, pressing the down button as quickly as his fingers would let him.

He finally stopped pressing, his finger hovering just below the new message.

 **Sans, report.**

 _undies probably wants to know if I'm okay._ "still alive." He hit send.

 _Beep._

 **I take it you met with the human, then?**

 _fuck._ Sans didn't know what to say to that.

 _Beep._

 **How did it go?**

 _fuuuuuuck_. Sans _really_ didn't know what to say to that. He tried to type out a response, then gave up and just jammed the buttons with his fingers.

He accidentally pressed send.

 **ng;sdlkgas'g a**

 _hell, that's as good a response as any._ It was an accurate description of how he felt right now. _screw professionalism._ He put his phone away. _**shit**_ _._ He leaned back against the stand and closed his sockets, taking deep breaths.

Red hair.

Blue eyes.

He didn't resist the thoughts this time, instead letting them wash over him. He liked her. Oh, he _liked_ her. He liked her sense of humor, he liked her smarts, he liked how soft and full her hair felt. He liked her laugh. He wanted to kiss her all over her stupid, dumb, wonderful face. Or punch it. Fuck it, he wanted to do both. _well, you had the opportunity back there, dipshit._ Dammit, he was an _idiot._

The image of her mouth against his popped into his mind. He pulled his hood over his head and tried to push it away.

It didn't work.

 _shiiiiit._ A large, dopey grin spread across his face. He covered it with his hands. _she was willing to_ _ **kiss**_ _me._ He could feel a warmth in his ribcage that swept throughout his whole body. He wrapped his arms around himself and fantasized that he was holding her. Fuck, it felt **good**.

But he knew he was kidding himself.

 _it'd never work out, dumbass._ Sans sighed, letting his hands drop to his sides. _snap out of it._ All of this was stupid. She was a human. She wasn't even _from_ this dimension, and she was going to be leaving soon. _can't believe I let myself fall for the enemy._ He was a sick freak. _what the hell's wrong with me?_

Everything was too much right now.

 _wait, have I had my nap yet?_ No wonder he was feeling like garbage. _all this bullshit can wait until after I've gotten some shut-eye._ He emerged from behind the stand.

There was a small, yellow, scaly child staring at him.

 _dammit, how long were they there?_ Sans bared his teeth at them. "what are **you** looking at?"

The monster kid's eyes were half-lidded. "Why were you hiding under the stand and making weird noises?"

Sans made a _tch_ noise. "I wasn't hiding, I was _napping._ " _how much did they hear? did I do anything embarrassing?_ Besides pretending to hug someone who wasn't there, and having a crush on a fucking human?

"Whatever. I don't actually care." The kid walked away. "Bye, weirdo."

"hey-" He couldn't think of any good comebacks. He clenched his teeth. _lost in a sass-off against a grade schooler. this day is just the fucking…_

Auvie's face popped up in his mind.

He shook his head to clear it. _shit, I need to lie down._ He was a _mess._ All of this stuff would be much easier to deal with when he didn't feel like he'd been steam-rolled. He turned around and fell…

…onto the mattress back in his house. He welcomed the familiarity, squirming as he tried to find a comfortable position. Honestly, he didn't know why he was doing it; he didn't need to, most of the time. _that should do it._ He closed his sockets.

Auvie's face.

 _oh, fuck you, lady._ She'd ruined his life enough in other ways; she wasn't taking away his sleep, too. "go away."

She didn't.

He bopped his head against the mattress. It didn't really do much. _fuck this. fuck this, fuck this, fuck this._ This wasn't helping. He stood up and looked around.

In the far corner, leaning against the wall, his pillow was resting.

Sans walked over to the corner and picked it up. Sheepishly, Sans walked back to his mattress. He flopped over onto the mattress, hugging the pillow close to him.

It was nice.

Gradually, he drifted off into slumber.


	6. Chapter 6: Dinner and a Shower Part 1

**Author's Note:**

Sheesh, you have no idea how hard it was to get through a certain scene in this chapter! I had a nasty case of Writer's Block. Plus, I was getting flustered, which meant my brain didn't work, and... yeah.

Also, annoyingly enough, this website won't let me name the chapter properly. But oh well.

The version of Underfell Grillby in this chapter was designed by ask-grillby on Tumblr. I hope I did him justice!

Anyway, things might get a little... _risque_ in this section.

Bone appetit!

* * *

Auvie's lids opened, but her mind did not fully wake.

Her vision was full of muted colors and shapes.

She tried to move her arm.

Nothing happened.

She tried to move her other arm.

Nothing happened.

A shadowed figure rose beside her.

Auvie could do nothing but stare at them. _Are they going to kill me? What's happening?_

They kept getting closer.

Auvie frantically tried to wake her limbs. _Come on, wake up, wake up,_ _ **wake**_ _-_

Suddenly, a hand slammed down on the couch cushion.

"RISE AND SHINE, PUNK!"

Auvie was jolted awake as she was lifted off the couch and carried through the front door of the house.

ooooo

 _Several minutes later, Auvie stood outside in the cold, sleepily rubbing her eyes and groaning._

" _GOOD MORNING, HUMAN!" Papyrus was as cheerful as ever. "I'M SO GLAD YOU DECIDED TO TRAIN WITH US!"_

Oh, yeah. _It was the day after Auvie had "officially" met Undyne, and Papyrus had talked her into training with them._ I didn't know it would happen **this** early _. She smiled at Papyrus. "Good morning."_

" _I WOULD HAVE WOKEN YOU UP MYSELF, BUT…" A puzzled look crossed Papyrus's face. "UNDYNE WANTED TO BE THE ONE TO WAKE YOU UP, FOR SOME REASON?"_

 _Auvie bit down on a sigh._

 _Papyrus continued on, incredibly giddy. "ANYWAY, THINGS WILL BE EVEN MORE FUN NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE. YOU'VE TURNED OUR TWOSOME INTO A THREESOME!"_

Um. _Auvie wondered if she should say anything._

 _Undyne stomped up to them before Auvie could worry any further. "Here! Eat up!" She was holding two donuts – spider donuts, from the looks of it._

Awww, she got me breakfast? _Maybe things_ _ **were**_ _improving between them. "Hey, tha-"_

Smack.

 _The donut collided with Auvie's face._

 _It stuck there._

" _Whoops!" Undyne was gleeful. "Butterfingers!"_

Yeah, yeah, sure. _Auvie pulled the donut off of her face and took a bite out of it. It was_ _ **delicious**_ _._ I love these things.

 _"THANKS, UNDYNE!" Papyrus took the donut handed to him and placed it on his head. "WHAT WILL WE LEARN TODAY? SPECIAL TECHNIQUES? COOKING LESSONS?"_

 _"Actually, since we have a_ _ **newbie**_ _here…" Undyne linked an arm around Auvie's neck. "I think we should begin with some basic exercises."_

 _"Okay! Basic sounds… good."_ Oh my god, her arm is **muscular**. _Auvie had a really good view of it at the moment._

 _"Yes." Undyne unlinked her arm from Auvie and closed her eyes, nodding sagely. "As a new student, you must be eased into training. We will start off with an exercise I like to call…" She paused dramatically._

Uh… _"What you like t-"_

 _Undyne's eyes snapped open. "DODGE THE SPEAR!" She summoned a blue spear in her hand. "THREETWOONE_ _ **GO**_ _!" Her arm was a blur as she stabbed at Auvie's feet._

Oh, god. _Panicking, Auvie tried to step out of the way._ Oh god, oh god, oh **god**. _This was a mistake. She regretted everything._ Why did I agree to training? Why? _She could barely keep out of the way._

 _Undyne, on the other hand, seemed to be having a blast. "You're gonna have to move faster than THAT! The spear's gonna get-"_

 _"ERRR, UNDYNE?" Papyrus's voice was hesitant._

 _Undyne reluctantly stopped and turned to face him. "Yeah?"_

 _"MAYBE WE SHOULD START WITH SOMETHING LESS… STABBITY." He seemed to be sweating just the slightest bit._

 _Undyne dismissed her spear, annoyed. "Okay, I guess. What do YOU have in mind?"_

 _Auvie took a deep breath, relieved._

 _Papyrus didn't speak for a second. Then his face lit up. "I KNOW! MAYBE SHE SHOULD TRY FACING…" His expression became smug. "ME?"_

 _Undyne's expression became troubled. "Uh, that…" She glanced between Papyrus and Auvie._

Is she worried I might hurt him? _Auvie gave her a smile that she hoped was reassuring._

 _Undyne's eye simply narrowed in response. "Fine." She jabbed a finger at Auvie. "But YOU only dodge! No fighting back! Got it!?"_

 _Auvie saluted her with her right hand. "Okay!"_ Wait, is it the right hand or the left that you use in a salute? _Did it even matter?_

 _Undyne didn't seem to care. She stepped off to the side and crossed her arms._

 _"DO NOT BE INTIMIDATED, HUMAN!" Papyrus walked across from Auvie. "ALTHOUGH MY LEVEL OF SKILL IS GREAT, I WILL GO EASY ON YOU." He placed a gloved hand on his chest. His cape fluttered in the wind, and… were those sparkles? "JUST LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY TO START."_

 _Auvie remembered a previous conversation with Sans. He'd said that Papyrus wasn't very dangerous, no matter how hard he tried._ Well, if he's going to go easy on me… _This should be interesting. She wondered if she should fake getting hit, or if that would be too dishonest._ _"Ready."_

 _"VERY WELL! TAKE THIS!" Papyrus flung out his hand, and a single bone sailed toward Auvie._

 _She easily stepped out of the way of it._

 _Papyrus looked pleased. "NICE!" He sent out a few more bones._

 _Auvie dodged these, too, though it was a bit more difficult._

 _"Come ON, Papyrus," Undyne shouted from the sidelines. "You have to give her more of a challenge!"_

 _"REALLY? OKAY!" A cunning look crossed his face. "TRY TO GET PAST_ _ **THESE**_ _!" And with that, he sent out a whole stream of bones._

Whoa. _Auvie did her best to avoid them, spinning and twisting around._ This is more intense than I expected! _Still, she managed to get through them with relative ease. She turned to face Papyrus. "How'd I d-"_

 _A bone collided with her back._

 _She yelped and stumbled forward._ Huh? When did that…? _She looked over at Papyrus._

 _"WHAT'S THE MATTER, HUMAN?" Papyrus's face was split by a sly grin. "YOU LOOK UTTERLY BAMBOOZLED! NYEH HEH HEH!"_

He totally got me. _A smile broke out on Auvie's face._

 _Papyrus extended his arm. "ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEXT ROUND?"_

As ready as I'll ever be. _Auvie took a stance. "Yup!"_

 _Papyrus brought up another cloud of bones, and then the training_ _ **really**_ _started._

* * *

"Tra la la. Don't fall in."

Auvie realized that she was leaning a little too close to the water. She quickly moved back into the middle of the narrow black boat.

"The water is great for reflection. I myself use it as a mirror when I comb my hair. But we wouldn't want any more…" The river person tittered. "Accidents."

Auvie smiled uneasily. The river person seemed nice, but their sense of humor left her a bit unsettled. They'd been travelling for about twenty minutes now; twenty minutes of silence occasionally punctuated by the river person's… interesting comments. She probably wouldn't be as unsettled if they weren't travelling on such a small boat; if the river person hadn't said anything, Auvie could have easily keeled over into the river. _I must have been really lost in thought._

Understandable, considering that there were so many things to think about.

Much to her dismay, Auvie's mind returned to the same cycle it had looped through so many times already. Her encounter with Sans. The kiss that didn't happen. How upset he'd seemed that she actually said yes, and how he ran away the second her eyes were closed.

Had he actually wanted to kiss her? Or was she misreading the situation, as she was so prone to doing?

 _Maybe he was put up to a dare_ , she thought gloomily. But who would dare him to do that? _Undyne?_ It didn't make sense. _Maybe he_ _ **was**_ _willing to kiss me, but then he got close to me and noticed how badly I smell._ Body spray could only go so far, especially when the user hasn't taken a bath in several days. _Or maybe he was just messing with me._ That seemed like him. He probably didn't think she would actually agree to it; she was really letting her guard down.

 _Come to think of it, there have been a_ _ **lot**_ _of times where I let my guard down._ When Auvie was in the mushroom caves, she didn't consider the possibility of an ambush. When she was drinking her tea, she hadn't thought that it might be drugged. When Sans asked her to close her eyes, she could have been flung off the bridge. _It worked out, but..._ She felt annoyed at herself. _I'm tired and hungry. It must be affecting my concentration._

It might also be because everyone reminded her of her old friends.

"Tra la la. Ten minutes away from Snowdin." The river person's robe fluttered. "The cold is hungry and has sharp teeth..."

Auvie sat up. _Already?_ That was fast. How many hours had she spent trying to navigate Waterfall? _A lot._ And yet, here she was, only about ten minutes away from where things started. _Great. I need a distraction from everything._ She also needed food. And sleep. "Thanks for taking me."

The river person didn't reply. They simply kept humming.

Auvie sat back and tried not to get sucked into old memories for the rest of the trip.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

A scream.

Sans was wide awake, sitting up and gripping his jacket sleeves before he realized what happened.

 _what the fuck was that?_

That was the most painful scream he had ever heard.

 _that… didn't actually happen._ He couldn't remember ever hearing anything like that. _just a dream._ He closed his sockets and took a deep breath. _**fuck**_ _me._ It had seemed disturbingly real and… familiar. _stupid fucking nightmares._ He stroked his jacket in an attempt to soothe himself.

 _holy hell, I never want to hear that sound again._

His bones were drenched in cold sweat. _great. just swell._ Papyrus was always on his case about how much he needed to wash his jacket. _dammit._ If anything, he still felt like crap. _how long did I sleep, anyway?_ He stood up and looked around.

A rumbling sounded.

Sans was **starving**.

 _for fuck's sake._ This was the best. Just super. _I've run up enough of a debt at grillby's. if I tell him to put it on my tab one more time, I'm pretty sure he'll roast me._ There was always the chips, though. Sans teleported down to the kitchen.

Papyrus wasn't there. _thank fuck._ The last thing that Sans needed right now was his brother questioning his life choices. He went over and opened the fridge.

He was out of chips.

 _shiiit._ The only other chips he had were at his bench. _but what if_ _ **she's**_ _there?_ Like hell he'd go back there after what happened. Sans's gaze drifted to the other side of the fridge.

There were several containers of Papyrus's spaghetti. _now that's a tempting thought. pap's spaghetti is fucking amazing._ But he never let anyone eat it, including his brother. The last time he caught Sans eating it… _maybe I could take one of the containers in the back, cover my tracks somehow?_ Who was he kidding, Papyrus would notice immediately. _dammit, why does eating take so much decision-making?_ He was **hungry** -

"SANS."

 _oh, for-_ Sans turned around.

Papyrus stood there. "I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'VE RETURNED. THERE ARE IMPORTANT THINGS WE NEED TO DISCUSS."

Sans's agitation amplified. _I hate everything._ He cracked a forced grin. "bro, now is _really_ not a good time."

Papyrus crossed his arms. "DON'T DODGE THIS, SANS." A smile crept onto his face. "I HAVE GOOD NEWS."

The hunger pain gnawed at Sans's bones. "what?"

Papyrus's finger tapped his arm; the noise it made felt like nails dragging against Sans's skull. "I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT OUR SITUATION, AND I'VE COME UP WITH A PLAN TO DEAL WITH THE HUMAN PROBLEM."

 _oh, fuck this. fuck every single thing about this._ Sans groaned.

Papyrus looked surprised. "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE EXCITED. I KNOW SHE HAS BEEN AFFECTING YOU LATELY."

 _bro, you know I love you, but if I don't get something to chow on right now, I am going to_ _ **murder everyone**_ _._ "tell it to me later. I'm going to grillby's." Grillby was going to let him have it, but-

Papyrus grabbed his arm. "WAIT. BEFORE YOU GO."

Sans wanted to bite that hand off.

Papyrus didn't seem to notice his murderous intent. "I SAW UNDYNE." A small bag was dropped into Sans's palm with a _clink._ "SHE SAID THAT YOU PERFORMED ABOVE AND BEYOND TODAY, AND THAT I SHOULD GIVE YOU THIS BONUS. I'M… REALLY PROUD OF YOU, SANS."

Sans stared at the bag in wordless astonishment. It was _three times_ his usual pay; enough to cover his existing debt with Grillby and more. And Papyrus had said he was… _fuck, pap, stop making me feel bad for wanting to kill everything that breathes._ "uh, thanks. pap."

"GO HAVE YOUR MEAL. AS FOR THE HUMAN…" Papyrus wore a sinister smile. "LEAVE HER TO ME. I WILL MAKE SURE SHE NO LONGER BOTHERS US."

 _okay, sure, whatever._ "love you, pap. see ya." Sans teleported to Grillby's.

The warm, musky atmosphere inside the club only seemed to make Sans' hunger more intense. _damn, I need that food_ _ **now**_ _._ He navigated past the tables and chairs full of patrons and went over to his usual seat. He looked around for the club's owner.

He was nowhere in sight.

 _shit. guess he's busy._ Sans growled. _dammit, I hate having to wait._ He scanned the area for something to preoccupy himself with.

There was a bottle of mustard just a few inches away from where he sat.

 _oh. ohhhhh._ There was justice. Sans reached out-

A hand wreathed in purple flame clamped down on Sans's wrist.

"And just what do you think you're doing, Sans?"

 _aaaaaaand there he is._ Sans flashed his most charming grin. "heya, grillbz. you do something to your flames? 'cuz you look pretty **hot** today. heh."

Grillby stood there, his fine clothes unaffected by the inferno they contained. His broad white mouth wore a smile. "Oh, Sans. You know that line never works on me." His fiery fingers dug ever so slightly into Sans's wrist. "Where is my money?"

Sans winced. _maybe I should just give him the money. ehhh, fuck it._ "but grillbz, I've already paid ya. through my alluring presence." Sans batted nonexistent eyelashes.

Grillby laughed; it was the sound of a roaring fire. "Alluring presence, my ass. You're always annoying my other customers. And as for me…" He leaned in close. "You aren't my type."

Sans felt himself heat up, and he wasn't sure it was the fire. "what is your type, then?"

"The type that pays their **fucking tab**." The fingers squeezed. "Where's my money, Sans? Don't make me ask again."

 _holy shit, all right,_ _ **fuck**_ _._ Sans's wrist was burning. He pulled out the bag. "here ya go, grillbz. paid in full. plus extra." He set it on the counter with a wink. "I was just teasin'."

Grillby didn't move his hand from Sans's wrist. Instead, he opened the bag with his other hand and pulled out one of the coins, inspecting it closely.

Sans's shakes loomed on the horizon. _serves me right for engaging in banter when I'm so hungry._ He couldn't help it; it was a _ritual_.

Grillby took his hand off of Sans. "Sans, you might be a cheapskate most of the time, but I do love it when you speak my language," he purred, depositing the coin back in the bag. He pulled out a plate with a steaming burger from under the counter.

Sans rubbed his wrist, his mouth watering. _oh, you magnificent fire man._ "'course, grillbz. so, uh…" He wiggled his eye ridges. "now that I've paid my tab, does that mean I'm your type?"

Grillby smiled widely. "Fuck no. Try not to use up all of my mustard." He left.

Sans chuckled. _ah, grillbz._ He was the closest thing that Sans had to a friend, aside from Papyrus and… her. _speaking of which, I haven't visited in a while. hope she's not too worried about me._ As unlikely as that was.

His belly was screaming at him.

 _yeah, okay, shit, calm down._ He took a bite out of the burger.

Damn, he needed that.

He devoured the burger, letting the energy from it quiet the angry voices in his stomach. As he did so, his thoughts turned back to the things he'd been avoiding. _auvie._ Even the thought of her, and what happened just… he glanced at a clock. _forty-five minutes ago? I only had a half hour nap? no wonder I still feel so shitty._

Anyway, the thought of what happened flustered him, much to his irritation. _yeah, okay, sure. I've got feelings for her. just because I've got feelings doesn't mean I have to act on them._ This situation didn't make any damn sense. _how fucking_ _ **dare**_ _she make me feel this way._ He ducked his head to hide the blush on his cheeks. _she's gonna pay for this._

But how?

 _every fucking time I antagonize her, she enjoys it._ Sans scraped the tip of his finger across the plate. _every attack that I send her way, she dodges._ Pranks sometimes worked, but only sometimes. Traps were out of the question. _damn, it's like she doesn't have any weaknesses._ But everyone had weaknesses. Right?

Sans's finger paused on the plate.

He honestly didn't know what to do.

 _fuck it, I'm not gonna think about it right now._ He came here to eat, not to mope. Sans picked up the bottle of mustard and chugged its delicious contents. _need to forget about this crap for a bit._ Finished, he set the bottle down and wiped his mouth.

He'd have time to worry later.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

The boat slowed to a stop.

"We have arrived."

Auvie carefully stood up and stepped out onto the dock. She stretched out her back; a cascade of popping noises resounded. _Yeesh._ The ride had _not_ done her back any favors. _It'll be nice to rest in a bed for once._ Assuming that she didn't get killed before then. She turned back to the river person. "Thanks again."

"Any time, as long as there's a fee. Tra la la." And with that, the boat left the dock and floated down the river.

Now that she was standing in the snow, it was obvious just how much her outfit exposed. _I should try to find Grillby's as soon as possible._ Shivering, she started walking. She'd only gotten a glimpse of Snowdin when she passed by it a few days before; she had no idea how different it was from the other Snowdin. _Quite a lot, if the other areas have been any indication_ , she thought, eyeing a broken down shack to her right. She stepped out onto the main road…

And then immediately stopped again.

Different was an understatement. What were warm, cozy cabins in the other dimension were ramshackle wooden huts here. The logs that made up the walls jutted out at dangerous angles. Some of the roofs looked like they were about to cave in. Lanterns lit up the street, but they were very dim; some of the panes were cracked. The street itself was practically deserted, with only one or two monsters that she could see.

It looked like a ghost town.

Auvie stared at the scenery. _This is_ _ **Snowdin**_ _?_ She had spent months in the other Snowdin, long enough for it to become a second home to her. Seeing this Snowdin made her heart ache. _Where are the Christmas lights? The people?_ There should have been this Christmas tree, and this bear, and… _No. This… this can't be Snowdin._

A wind blew through the streets.

It was a hollow sound.

Auvie closed her eyes. _Come on, Auvie. Pull yourself together._ She had seen plenty of messed up things throughout her life; she couldn't lose it just because this town wasn't the same. _I need to eat and sleep._ She turned and headed to her right.

In the place where she expected Grillby's restaurant to be, there was a two-story building made of dark bricks. There were windows on the second story, but she couldn't see anything through them, except for small flickering lights that might have been candles.

A large neon sign that read "Grillby's" hung on the front wall, quelling any doubts that she was in the wrong place.

 _Whoa. This is… fancy._ Considering the state of the houses in this town, that probably wasn't a good thing. _Still, it's a place to eat._ Auvie took a deep breath. _Time to get utterly mangled and die a horrible death._ She walked up to the door.

Outside the door, sitting in a metal chair, was a sleeping wolf man. A string of drool hung from the edge of his mouth.

 _Oh._ Was that a bouncer? Auvie had never been inside a club before; she wasn't quite drinking age. _Uh... should I just go in?_ After all, she _did_ have a piece of paper from Undyne, so she'd probably be let in anyway.

The wolf man turned over in his chair, grumbling.

 _You know what, I'm really hungry._ She'd been through a lot today; she didn't want to deal with the consequences of waking a wolf. Slowly, she walked over to the door and pulled on the handle.

It didn't budge.

 _Right. Clubs with restricted entry. Weird doors._ Auvie wondered if she should risk waking the wolf man.

The wolf man's snore turned into a snarl.

She yelped.

 _Pop._

She was inside.

 _Did I just-?_ She hadn't lost her grip on her powers like that in a long time. That was worrying. _I'm tired._ Hopefully, that was the only reason. She sighed and scoped out her surroundings.

The room was dark, occasionally lit up by neon lights or candles. The walls, tables, and chairs were made of a smooth and glossy wood of high quality. Stairs against the left and right walls led to a well-supported balcony five feet above Auvie's head. The club was full of colorful patrons: talking, playing cards, eating food and drinking. Spoken words melded together into meaningless noise.

This was a small place with a big presence.

Over on the opposite wall, Auvie could see a bar. The few people sitting at it conversed with a very-hard-to-miss entity made of purple flame. He wore fine clothes and a cocky smile.

 _Wait, that's Grillby?_ This dimension never failed to surprise her. _Guess he's the guy I'm supposed to talk to._ She looked around at the club's other inhabitants.

Thankfully, most of them seemed preoccupied. One of the tables was populated by the sentries she'd met when she first arrived; she could see Lesser Dog, Greater Dog, Wolfo, and the dog couple… who were still bickering, by the looks of things.

 _Maybe I can sit with them, if I'm not kicked out._ Auvie took deep breaths, steeled her nerves, then started walking over to the bar.

As she did so, the talking seemed to die down, just a bit. _Just your imagination, just your imagination_. She looked up from the floor to the bar area.

Grillby was staring at her.

Auvie slowed to a halt.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see people stop what they were doing to look at her.

Auvie's eyes darted around.

All the conversations had completely dropped; the only sound was an excited whine coming from one of the corners.

 _Oh. Oh god. I wasn't ready for this._ This was supposed to be a covert operation. _Abort mission._ _ **Abort mission.**_

But it was too late.

She was the center of attention.

Grillby rested his arms on the bar counter. "Who are you supposed to be, hmm?"

Auvie's mind scrambled. "Uhhh… Auvie. M-My name's Auvie." _I sound so stupid._

"Auvie, is it? I see." Grillby smiled sweetly, then raised his voice to a sharp bark. " **Jim!** "

The door behind her flung open, and there was the sound of panting. "Boss?"

Grillby gestured at Auvie. "What's wrong with this picture?"

Feet shuffled. "Jim is sorry. Do you want Jim to throw her out?"

 _Everything is going wrong and it's even worse than I imagined._ Auvie kept her eyes to the floor and tried not to freak out.

"No."

Footsteps.

Auvie looked up.

Grillby had gotten around the bar and was now approaching her, hands steepled. His smile didn't seem friendly. "Ms. Auvie, I don't like it when people don't follow my rules. And you just broke into my club."

Auvie's skin was crawling. She resisted the urge to take a step back. "S…sor-"

"So I'm giving you two options. Option one, you leave. Right now." He leaned over her.

Auvie was frozen in place. Her mind was white noise.

Grillby's… lip? curled. "Well. I guess that brings us to option two." He took a step closer. "You got fifteen seconds to give me a good reason for you to be here…" His smile widened, and the brightness of his flames intensified. "Before I burn your ass to a fucking crisp."

 _What… what do I say?_ Auvie tried to think. _The paper._ She put a fumbling hand in her pocket.

"Well? It's not good to keep me waiting."

The flames grew brighter.

She couldn't find it.

"Tick. Tock."

Even brighter.

 _I'm going to die._

"hey, grillbz, **chill out**." A warm, black, jacketed arm wrapped around Auvie's shoulders. "she's with me."

Auvie's heart stopped.

 _It isn't._

She knew who it was, but… _It couldn't be._

She slowly looked up.

There was Sans, his arm hooked around her. The fur on his jacket was touching her skin; it was surprisingly soft. "sorry, grillbz, should have communicated." He winked at Auvie. "I have a _date_ tonight."

The fire man was no longer the brightest thing in the room.

 _Oh, god._

 _Oh,_ _ **god**_ _._

Grillby's flames returned to their original state. "A date?" He smirked. "Sans, you never date."

"oh, yeah?" Sans pulled Auvie even closer. "well, I am now. Royal Guard member plus one. should check out."

 _Shiiiiizzle fizzle._ This was real. _What._ The edges of Auvie's mouth curled upward. She pulled down her hat to hide it.

Grillby didn't speak for a few moments. When he did, he sounded bemused. "She certainly seems to like you, at least."

Auvie was doing her best impression of a kettle.

"heh. suuuure does." Sans's voice cracked; it was barely noticeable.

After another few seconds of silence, Grillby sighed. "Fine. I'll let this one incident slide. But if anything happens to this bar, or my patrons…" His voice turned into a growl. "I'm holding you **both** responsible. Is that fucking clear?"

"hey, there's nothing to worry about, grillbz. auvie's a total wimp." The arm left Auvie's shoulders, and a hand flipped her hat forward, nearly knocking it off.

 _Oh, crap._ She quickly adjusted her headwear before her face was exposed. She needed something to hide behind. Once she had, she shot Sans a glance.

He didn't look at her; he was sweating just the slightest bit. "see? wouldn't hurt a fly. hell, she wouldn't hurt a fucking mosquito."

Grillby didn't seem very convinced. "Is she ordering anything? I assume you didn't invite her here just to _loiter._ " The last word was tinged with venom.

Sans leaned towards Auvie; the side of his skull was inches from her face. "what do you want?" His voice was a soft mutter.

Auvie was short of breath for a few seconds. _He is… right there. Okay._ "P-pickles. I mean, a burger. With… pickles and ketchup." _Wait, does this place even serve burgers?_

Sans straightened up, grinning confidently. "she'll have a burger with pickles and ketchup. we'll also be sitting up in the balcony, _if you don't mind._ " He took Auvie's hand. "oh, and, uh…" He winked. "put it on my tab." He started pulling her toward one of the staircases.

There was an annoyed grunt from behind them.

Auvie's heart was racing so fast that her mind could barely keep up. _I'm going on a date._ Her first date ever, technically speaking. _Although, come to think of it, Sans is probably just covering for me._ Her heart slowed. After all, he'd run away from that kiss, right? _Maybe he's just… being nice to me now?_ "Hey, thanks for helping me out back there. I'm not sure what I would have done."

Sans waved his hand dismissively. "ehh. you could have just gotten away with your powers or whatever." They started ascending the staircase.

 _Oh._ She totally could have done that. _Whoops._ "Yeah, but I probably wouldn't have been able to get a meal." _Plus, I wasn't afraid of death as much as humiliation._ That sounded weird. She looked behind her.

Grillby was watching them, arms crossed.

It didn't do much for her nerves to see that. She turned back to the stairs. "Is… he going to be okay with this?"

Sans glanced over his shoulder. "grillbz? yeah, he'll be fine. he's just jealous." He blew a kiss and wiggled his fingers.

Auvie felt a twinge in her gut, and it wasn't hunger.

"but seriously. he's not gonna try anything." Sans seemed to be sweating quite a bit. "you're a customer now."

Auvie nodded. "Okay." _Is walking up the stairs straining him?_ She wondered if she should ask him about that. _Maybe not._ "Sorry that you had to pay for my burger. I think that's, like, four or five food items that I owe you now." She laughed nervously.

"owe me? for the burger?" Sans snorted. "why? it's pretty standard for the guy to pay for the date." They were at the top of the stairs.

"Not alwa-" Auvie's stomach lurched. _Wait._

Sans climbed the top step. As he did so, he turned around and tugged on Auvie's hand, bringing her close to him. He was grinning. "what," he said in a low voice. "did you think I was joking?"

Auvie's organs flipped over.

Sans let go of her hand. "so, howzabout you pick the table?" He nudged her with his elbow.

"O-okay." Auvie was incapable of thought. She commanded her feet to move in the direction of one of the booths; much to her surprise, it actually worked. She slid into the cushioned booth seat.

Sans settled on the opposite side. "shit, this is comfy. grillbz has never let me sit up here before. says they're for 'a party of two or greater'."

"Oh." Auvie couldn't think of a proper response.

"yeah," Sans replied.

Then the silence began.

Auvie stared into the wooden grain of the table. _Well. This is off to a great start._ Here she was, dating someone who had been trying to kill her over the past couple of days. _A normal date would be terrifying enough. I have_ _ **no idea**_ _what to talk about with him._ She hazarded a glance at him.

His pupils were shifting around. Sweat was beading on his skull.

 _Is he… nervous, too?_ Auvie kind of hoped that was the case. She looked out the window next to their table.

There was a good view of the street below. Dead trees extended off into the distance. Snow gently drifted down.

 _Snow._ Auvie cleared her throat. "The snow looks really nice this evening." _If it is evening._ It was hard to tell what time it was down here.

Sans's eyes returned to her. "huh?" He looked at the snow. "uhh, yeah. it's nice. I guess."

Auvie's mouth twisted. "You… don't think so?"

"well, honestly, it's kind of a pain in the ass." Sans twirled a hand. "having to deal with it all the time."

Auvie nodded. "It's easy for me to like snow, because I haven't seen a lot of it. Except when I lived with the other Sans and Papyrus." She inwardly cringed. _I shouldn't have mentioned the other dimension._

He raised an eyebrow ridge. "yeah? what kind of place did you grow up in? was it nice?"

 _Huh. Haven't thought about it in a long time._ "It was kind of desert-y, actually. Not many trees, lots of… sun…" She trailed off.

"no kidding." Sans's voice was flat.

Auvie cast her eyes down at the table. _Nice work, Auvie. Just keep bringing up the fact that monsters are trapped underground._ She was an idiot.

"you keep mentioning the 'other' sans and papyrus," said the voice on the other side of the table. "they anything like us?"

 _Ohh, thank goodness._ Though it wasn't much better in terms of topics. Auvie lifted her gaze off of the table. "You mean, you and your brother? Kind of. There are a few similarities. But you're pretty different from them, for the most part."

Sans's grin widened. "heh. damn straight. ain't nobody like me."

Auvie smiled, then her eyes drifted away.

The silence returned.

Auvie became increasingly aware of an emptiness in her belly. _I really haven't had much to eat today, have I?_ That wasn't great; she could get really crabby when she was hungry. _And I'm on a dinner date. Awesome._

"hey, auvie."

Auvie looked up. "Yeah?"

"why can't orphans play baseball?" He was drawing circles on the table with his fingertip.

 _I have a bad feeling about this._ "Why?"

"'cuz they don't know where **home** is." Sans sniggered.

 _Oh. That is… oh._ Auvie smiled politely.

His grin faded. He lowered his eyes.

 _He… doesn't seem like he's happy._ Auvie wasn't sure what to say. "Uh-"

"it's okay." His hands clenched the edge of the table. "that one was fucking terrible."

The mood had been considerably lowered. Auvie tried to think quickly. "It… was a bit iffy, to be honest." She had an idea. "I guess your **heart** wasn't in it?"

Sans looked up at her. His smile slowly returned. "yeah. it wasn't very **humerus**."

She shrugged. "I'm not surprised, though. You didn't really have the **spine** to pull that off."

"hey. telling a joke like that takes **guts**." He adjusted his jacket.

"Fair enough," Auvie conceded. She tried to think of really good pun. "Maybe your audience was just… **artery** -d."

Sans seemed genuinely impressed.

 _Well._ Auvie was pleased with herself for salvaging the situation.

Sans recovered. "that was pretty good." He scoffed. " **tibia** -nest, you're not really _that_ hard to read, though."

"No?" Auvie couldn't think of a pun to respond with.

"nope. you might not be a skeleton…" Sans leaned forward, his voice seductive. "but **I can see right through you.** "

Auvie's face was red. She pulled down on her hat. _We're back here again._ She didn't _mind_ , it just… had a tendency to render her absolutely speechless.

She could hear Sans chuckle. "guess you liked that one."

Her voice was practically inaudible. "Sure."

The silence came back again.

Auvie's insides felt like an oven. _This date is…_ Was it going well? She couldn't tell; she didn't have any other date experiences to compare it to. _What will even happen after this date? Will he walk me over to the Inn, or something? Will he…_ Her pulse quickened. She risked a glance up at Sans again.

He seemed… oddly agitated. His teeth were clenched.

 _Whoa. That's new._ "Are you… okay?"

"yeah. I'm fine." His voice was a growl. He stood up. "food's taking a while. I'mma go check on it." He walked a few steps and then disappeared.

Auvie was mystified. _What was that about?_ He didn't _seem_ fine. The anxiety started creeping in. _Was it something I did?_ She'd been too quiet; maybe he'd gotten bored. Or maybe he'd taken it personally when she said he didn't have a spine? That must've been it. _He really doesn't like being seen as weak. God, he must hate me now._ He was probably ditching her like he ditched her before the-

"hey, I'm back."

Auvie jolted upright. "Oh! Hi!" _He came back._

There was something different about him now; he seemed more confident. He sauntered over to his side of the booth and sat down. "that was enthusiastic. what, you miss me that much?"

Auvie struggled to respond. "A little." _Wow. I must seem desperate._

His confidence faltered for a second. Then he regained it. "sheesh. I wasn't gone _that_ long."

Auvie flushed with embarrassment. "I know. It's just…" _Honesty? I'll go with honesty._ "You seemed agitated earlier. I was worried I'd done something to upset you."

"nah." Sans leaned back in his seat. "I was just thinking of ways to grace you with my _tasteful_ humor."

Auvie snorted. "I imagine it must be pretty hard for a skeleton to have a sense of taste."

Sans's eyebrow ridge rose. "what's that supposed to mean?"

Auvie's brain froze. "Because…" _Shit._ "I mean, skeletons don't have…" _Dammit._

"what? what don't we have?" His grin got bigger.

 _Fuck._ Auvie lowered her eyes. "Never mind." _I can't say it._

"okay." There was a rustle of clothing. "if you say so."

Auvie held her temples. _I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot._ She was making a complete fool of herself. _Whatever Sans might've felt about me before, I'm sure he's having second thoughts now._

Paper crinkled.

Auvie looked up.

Sans was holding a lollipop. The wrapper was crumpled in his other hand. "hope you don't mind. need my daily sugar fix."

Auvie shook her head. "Uhhh, no. I don't mind." _Has he eaten yet?_ She hoped he wasn't starving himself for her sake.

"thanks." Sans opened his mouth.

A long, red tongue came out.

 _Oh my god._

He licked the lollipop. His tongue slowly dragged across the surface of it; Auvie swore she could hear a faint grinding sound. He gave Auvie a casual glance.

Auvie was stunned. She glued her eyes to the floor. _So. Skeletons… do have tongues, huh?_ That was interesting. In a purely academic sense. No other reason. _You… you learn something new everyday._ Skeleton tongues. Real thing. That existed.

Cautiously, she looked up again.

He was going nuts with it, now. His tongue curled and wiggled across the lollipop.

Auvie stared in disbelief, heat rising to her face. _Okay, he's doing it on purpose._ How dare he do that to her, showing off his tongue like that. _This is the_ _ **first date**_ _._ She wasn't _supposed_ to think about that kind of thing yet. _I'm_ _ **hungry**_ _, not th…_ She cut her own thought off. That was a dangerous place she was heading.

Finally, Sans bit off the candy part of the lollipop and tucked the stick away, sparing Auvie any further misery. He finished chewing before speaking. "that was good. welp, I'm gonna go stretch my legs a bit. be back soon." He left the booth again and disappeared.

Auvie slumped. _Good._ She would need time to get that image out of her head. _Can't wait to take that shower later. Maybe it'll wash the sin away._ Probably not. In fact, thinking about showers made things worse. _Oh,_ _ **god**_ _._ She thought she was better than this. She couldn't believe he would do something like that in public-

Something warm and wet touched her shoulder.

Auvie yelped and jumped away, banging her elbow on the table.

Sans stood behind her seat, holding a soggy paper towel. He was cracking up. "you... you should've seen your face just now. holy _shit_."

Auvie's mouth moved, but no words came out. She dropped her fist on the table. _You fucker._ That was actually really funny. She covered her mouth to muffle her laughter. _Stupid jerk._ He'd planned all of it. _What an ass._

Eventually, Sans stopped laughing. He sat back in the booth. "bet you think skeletons have taste _now_."

"Sure," Auvie dryly replied. That might've made her laugh, but she was still annoyed. _I'm too hungry for this nonsense._ She needed food in her immediately.

As soon as she had the thought, Grillby came up to their table, holding a tray. "Here you are. One burger, with pickles and ketchup." He took the plate and set it down in front of her. "I took the liberty of adding the condiments myself. I hope you find it to your satisfaction." He flashed her a smile; it wasn't very comforting. "Have a nice evening." He walked away.

Auvie's mouth watered at the sight of the burger. It looked incredible _._ _Pickles and ketchup… he got it right, right?_ She put her hand on the top bun and started to check.

Sans _tsk_ ed. "hey, come on, now. grillbz has been doing this for years. he wouldn't mess up an order like yours."

Auvie sheepishly smiled. "You're right." _Shouldn't have doubted._ She picked up the burger and bit into it.

At first, it was delicious but… it tasted a bit funny.

Auvie shot Sans a glance.

He was watching her. "well?"

She swallowed. "It's, uh… I like it." It wasn't _bad_ , but…

Then the burning started.

She clutched at her throat, eyes tearing up. _Oh, shit._ Was she dying? She picked up the paper napkin on the side of her plate and coughed into it. It didn't do much; the damage had already been done. She was having trouble breathing.

Sans didn't seem too concerned. "what's wrong?"

The burning went away. Auvie gasped for breath. "What… what was…" _What the hell was in that burger?_

Sans snickered. "damn, that sucks. guess you should've…" He pulled a bottle out of his pocket. " **mustard** more courage before taking a bite."

The bottle said _Spicy Brown Mustard_.

Auvie felt numb.

Sans put the bottle away. "but hey, you know what they say: variety is the **spice** of life."

Her blood was boiling.

"not saying anythin'? shit, guess that burger was a real **bunishment**." He lightly punched her shoulder.

She flung up her arm, sending the fist flying away.

" _ **Don't fucking touch me**_ **.** "

Sans retreated back, sockets wide in surprise.

A very long silence followed.

In the quiet, as Auvie's emotions cooled, she was hit by a wave of guilt. _I could have_ _ **killed**_ _him just now._ She couldn't bear to even look at him. "I…"

There was quiet laughter from his side of the table.

 _Laughter?_ Auvie forced her head to turn towards him.

Sans held his wrist, his expression difficult to read. "you finally cracked." His voice was slightly shaky. "well, fuck me."

Auvie covered her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that."

His jacket brushed the back of the seat. "guess you don't like mustard."

"I… food is just this… thing with me. In general." Auvie's hands were still on her face when she spoke. "I get really crabby and anxious when I'm hungry. And in the past, I had these bad experiences with foods I didn't like that were forced on me." _Kind of an understatement._ She was blabbering now. "That doesn't justify me lashing out, though. I'm really sorry."

Silence.

"no."

 _What… what is he…?_ Auvie peeked through her fingers.

She couldn't see his face; it was turned away from her. "don't apologize. I get it." He got up from the table.

 _Is he leaving?_ Auvie reached out a hand. "But-"

"I'll leave now. sorry for botherin' you." He walked away. "see ya."

She got up. "Wait, you don't have to-"

He was already gone.

She stared at the empty air. Then, gradually, she sunk back into the booth seat. _Oh, god._ She'd screwed up, and he left. _Oh, god, oh god._ She buried her face in her arms.

That was a terrible date.

Tears came out. She let them, trying to cry as quietly as she could. She couldn't believe she'd done that. _I might've had something with him, and I ruined it._ No amount of pranks warranted that response. _I… I just…_

 _Clunk._

"Well, aren't you a mess."

Auvie hastily wiped her tears away before meeting the eyes of the speaker.

Grillby leaned against the opposite seat, his expression sour. "Date didn't go well, huh?"

"No." Her voice was hoarse. She cleared her throat. "I… I screwed things up."

"Oh, really? Interesting. He seems to think differently." Grillby gestured down at the table.

There was another burger.

 _He…_ Auvie lifted the top bun.

Pickles and ketchup.

Auvie felt even worse.

"That's not my business, though." Grillby grimaced. "But if you ever go on a second date, choose somewhere else. My club doesn't need that level of drama."

"I don't think you'll have to worry about that." Her mouth was dry. _I don't think Sans will ever ask me out again._

"With that out of the way…" Grillby sat down in the booth. "There's just one more issue that we need to talk about."

Auvie's skin crawled. "Huh?"

"Sans is a good kid." Grillby's fingers were laced together. "He may be a piece of shit who never pays, but he's my best customer. And I don't appreciate when bad things happen to my customers."

 _His tone is… reassuring._ "Uh-huh."

"He's a huge jackass sometimes. I can see why you'd lose your temper with him. Hell, he needs someone to sass back at him, put him in his place." He tapped his thumbs together. "But… how to put this…"

Auvie rubbed her arm. _I wish he'd get to the point alre-_

 _Slam._

His hands came down on the table, his flames burning a pure white. "If you pull the same shit I saw you do just a few minutes ago to him again, or hurt any of my other customers, **you're fucking dead**."

Auvie winced, shielding herself from the light.

" **I know you're a human. I don't care. I'll reduce you to a black scorch mark on the ground if I see shit like that again**." The flames returned to a violet color. Grillby smiled warmly. "So it better not happen. Are we clear?"

Auvie tried to blink the bright spots out of her vision. "As crystal." _Shouldn't be an issue. Sans won't ever want to see me again, anyway._

"Good." Grillby caught a glimpse of her face and sighed. "Oh, for fuck's sake. Look, Sans doesn't hate you. He wouldn't have ordered another burger for you otherwise."

Auvie started. _Did he read my mind?_ "How did-"

"I'm a bartender. I see a lot of poor lovesick saps like you." He stood up. "If you care so much, find him. Just kiss and make up, or some shit. I don't care." He walked away. "Enjoy your fucking burger."

Auvie watched him go. _Huh_. He was right, she was being melodramatic. _I have bigger things to worry about right now._ She cringed. _Even if that did sting._ She had to settle at the Inn for the night. _I should focus on that right now._ She picked up the burger and carefully took a bite out of it.

It was great.

* * *

A few minutes later, Auvie stepped through the club door and out into the cold air. She shivered, ignoring the dirty look that the bouncer (Jim?) was giving her. _Okay. If I'm remembering correctly, the Inn should be down the street to my left._ Some sleep would do her good. _Once I've rested, maybe I can find Sans and make it up to him?_ The thought terrified her, but-

"Yo, lady."

Auvie turned toward the voice.

It was a short, yellow monster kid with a striped shirt. "I've got a message for you."

 _A message?_ Auvie remembered seeing a similar kid in the other universe. "Okay, what is it?"

The monster kid rocked back and forth on their heels. "He says to come to his house as soon as possible." They stopped. "Oh, and it's from one of the skeleton brothers. The short, fat one."

Auvie felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on her head. _Or we could just talk it out today, without waiting until tomorrow._ She was filled with dread. "Did he say why?"

The monster kid shrugged. "I dunno. Anyway, good luck with that. Bye." The monster kid walked out of sight.

 _This day just keeps getting better._ Auvie took a deep breath. She could easily get over to their house. _Do I keep him waiting until tomorrow, or do I go now?_

The answer was obvious.

She inhaled cold air in her lungs, steeled her nerves, and started walking towards the residence of Sans and Papyrus.


	7. Chapter 7: Dinner and a Shower Part 2

**Author's Note:**

Hey, there! Finals have ended and we are BACK.

I'm particularly proud of this chapter! I hope you like it, too.

Careful, it gets pretty racy near the end.

And now, without further ado...

* * *

As Auvie walked through the cold and empty streets to the skeleton brothers' house, she ran about a hundred scenarios through her mind.

" _Hi. I'm really sorry about almost killing you earlier. What was it you wanted to see me about?"_

" _just wanted to say that I hate you and never talk to me again. also, fuck you. bye."_

 _Door slam._

She knew Grillby had said that Sans probably didn't hate her. But it didn't help her anxiety much.

She tried a different reel.

" _Hey, Sans. You wanted to see me?"_

" _knock knock."_

"… _Who's there?"_

" _lima bean."_

" _Lima bean who?"_

" _ **lima bean**_ _an idiot this whole time and I've changed my mind about killing you."_

 _Energy beams._

To be honest, she was kind of dumb for developing an interest in a skeleton who had attempted to murder her several times. She doubted he would try to kill her now, but… she couldn't really imagine a scenario that didn't end in failure.

She tried another reel.

" _Sans, I'm really sorry about what happened. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I tend to mess things up a lot. And while you've done one or two things that have bothered me, I actually think you're pretty great. And I really enjoy hanging out with you. If you wanted to start over, give me another chance… maybe we could make something work?"_

"…"

" _What… what do you say?"_

"…"

"…"

"…"

" _new phone who dis"_

Auvie sighed. This obviously wasn't helping. _I just need to get there and get things over with._ Whatever happened would happen. No other way to put it. Even if she wanted to find the nearest corner, curl into a ball, and rock back and forth until the bad thoughts went away. _If there are any safe corners in this dimension._

Her walking slowed to a halt.

This was the place.

The architecture was the same, for the most part; multiple stories, two windows, a canopy over the front door. But the materials and the condition of the house were entirely different. The wood that made up the walls was a dark color, and chunks were missing from their edges. The pillars that held up the canopy were stable, but pitted and scratched. Icicles hung from every rim. The windows were cracked.

No lights were on.

The somber feeling she had gotten upon seeing Snowdin returned. She pushed it away. _The lights aren't on. Is nobody home?_ Surely if Sans wanted her to come "as soon as possible", he'd stay at home and wait for her to come by? _Then again, maybe he just likes sitting around in the dark._ She did stuff like that, sometimes. _Only one way to find out, I guess._ Fighting back dread, she walked up to the front door.

The door was similarly scratched and worn. The doorbell was obscured by a piece of tape with the words "OUT OF ORDER" written on it. There was a knocker in the middle of the door.

It had a piece of paper taped to it as well.

 _just come in. don't bother knocking._

 _sans_

Auvie felt even more nervous. _Nope. Just walk away. Too scary._ But she needed to take care of this. _Sans… if nothing else, I should tell him I'm sorry._ Everything would be fine. She'd live. Very, very slowly, she turned the knob – it was unlocked – and opened the door.

 _Click._

Before she could even register it, she was off her feet and swinging above a yellow and red carpet.

 _Shing._

Spikes protruded on both sides of her.

Scrambling, she realized that she was being held by a net – a sturdy, thick one made of black rope.

"NYEH HEH HEH! YOU FELL INTO MY TRAP!"

Auvie's eyes darted down.

Papyrus stood on the second floor balcony, his mouth upturned in a triumphant smirk. "TOO EASY! BUT I SUPPOSE EVEN A HUMAN LIKE YOU CANNOT OUTWIT THE GREAT PAPYRUS."

Auvie leaned her head back into the net and let out a long groan.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Sans wouldn't have sent a messenger. The handwriting on that note was a little too neat, as well. She'd just been such a bundle of nerves that she hadn't noticed either of those things. And the lack of lights… _I'm too tired for this._

"IT IS TOO LATE FOR REGRETS, HUMAN!" Papyrus's smirk faded, and his gaze grew solemn. "I HAVE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS MOMENT."

 _Maybe I can reason with him._ "Papyrus, please, just let me go. I won't hurt anyone. I promise."

" _LIES_!" Papyrus brandished a finger at her. "YOU'VE ALREADY HURT MY BROTHER! HE NEARLY DIED BECAUSE OF YOU! DID YOU THINK I'D FORGET SOMETHING LIKE THAT?"

Auvie grimaced. _He_ _ **did**_ _die because of me, once._ "I'm sorry. I won't do it again." _If I can even avoid it._ This was all a huge mistake.

Papyrus glared at her. "OF COURSE YOU WON'T. I'M HERE TO MAKE SURE OF THAT!" He outstretched his arm. "BEFORE I DO, HOWEVER, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU MUST TELL ME."

Auvie glanced over at the door. _I should transfer over. Escape._ But her focus was drifting; it was hard to get a solid grip. _When I use my powers in this state, things get… messy._ She didn't have much of a choice, though.

"WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS WITH MY BROTHER?"

Auvie jerked her head up, startled. "Huh?"

Papyrus's eyes were… downcast? "EVER SINCE YOU CAME ALONG, HE HAS BEEN ACTING DIFFERENT. THERE IS NOTHING MY BROTHER CAN HIDE FROM ME; I CAN READ HIM LIKE A BOOK." His eyes came up, intense. "I DEMAND THAT YOU TELL ME! WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING FOR HIM?"

Auvie was so taken off-guard that she could barely think. _What am I… planning for him?_ Planning sounded like scheming. _I don't really have schemes or plans, just a bunch of jumbled emotions._

"I'M WAITING!" Papyrus was tapping his foot impatiently.

 _I guess jumbled emotions will have to do._ "I… don't know. I mean, I _like_ him. A lot." _A lot lot._ Auvie felt her cheeks heat up. "I think he's funny. And smart. And interesting. To be honest, I'm not completely sure if he likes me, or he's just messing with me…" _Especially after what happened in Grillby's_. "But I do know that I enjoy spending time with him. And… I'd like to spend more time with him." The words sounded heavy and dumb in her mouth. "That's all I can really ask for."

Papyrus narrowed his eyes at her.

Auvie swallowed the lump in her throat.

"THAT SETTLES IT, THEN!"

He swiftly brought his hand upward.

 _ **Thwumph.**_

Auvie landed on the living room carpet.

 _Wait, what?_

"HUMAN, YOU ARE PRETTY GOOD. BUT YOU'RE NOT ADEQUATELY PREPARED FOR THE RESPONSIBILITY OF DATING SANS."

The voice came down the stairs.

"THAT IS WHY I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, SHALL TRAIN YOU HOW TO COURT HIM."

Papyrus was standing over her.

"ONLY THE BEST FOR MY BROTHER!"

He offered her a hand.

Auvie stared at it. _He's… I…_ He was going to help her? _This is good. I think._ Better than trying to kill her, anyway. She took his hand.

As he pulled her up, his expression became one of disgust. "UGH, YOU ARE COVERED IN FILTH! NO LOVER OF MY BROTHER IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE _THAT_! TO THE SHOWER!" He turned around, toward the television set, and immediately stopped. "AH. RIGHT. I FORGOT. ONE MOMENT." He walked over to it and, grunting, started to push the television set to the side.

Auvie watched him in mute shock. _This… is this actually happening?_ A few seconds ago, she thought she was going to die, and now she was being told to take a shower. _This is not how I thought my evening would go._

Papyrus finished pushing the television and dusted off his hands, satisfied. In the wall behind the TV set, there was a door. "THERE WE GO! IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE MY BROTHER AND I NEEDED TO USE THE BATHROOM." He pointed toward the door and fixed Auvie with an expectant look.

Auvie didn't move. She smiled awkwardly. "Uhh, don't you think it's a bit soon to-"

"I SEE YOU ARE BEING DIFFICULT." Papyrus rolled his eyes. "DON'T PUSH ME, HUMAN! I HAVE YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IN FORCING UNWILLING SKELETONS TO BATHE." He put a hand on her back and nudged her forward. "GET IN THERE AND TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES!"

Auvie put her hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay!" _Sheesh. When he puts it like that…_ She opened the door and stepped inside.

The bathroom was tiny but surprisingly fancy. The walls were black with a red lower trim, and crimson tile composed the floor. The bathtub, sink, and toilet were painted gold. Despite Papyrus's claims that it wasn't used very often, there was very little dust – the regular kind, not the other kind – to speak of. _Maybe Papyrus cleans in here sometimes._

 _Come to think of it, why would a monster house have a toilet anyway?_ She peered at the toilet.

The water inside was frozen solid, but at the bottom there was… a pile of coins? On the wall above the toilet, there hung a sign.

 _make a wish_

Auvie snorted.

"HAVE YOU FINISHED STRIPPING YET, HUMAN?" The door did very little to muffle Papyrus's loud voice.

 _Oh, right._ "Um, sorry, not yet," she replied.

"LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU DO." There was the sound of tapping behind the door.

 _Is he just going to monitor every part of the process?_ The thought gave her a sinking feeling in her stomach. Gingerly, she peeled off her clothing: first her gloves, then her hat, then the rest. She didn't realize _just_ how dirty she'd gotten; dirt particles clung to her clothing and skin like frantic sailors to a lifeboat. _God, I'm a mess._ This shower was a long time coming. She laid the clothes out on the counter, carefully placing the hat on top. "Okay, I've… stripped."

"GOOD." The door opened.

Auvie squeaked.

Thankfully, it only opened a crack. Papyrus's glove emerged from the fissure. "GIVE ME YOUR CLOTHES SO THAT THEY MAY BE WASHED. NEVER FEAR, I WILL TREAT THEM WITH THE UTMOST CARE." The hand gestured.

 _From what little I know about him, he probably will._ Still, it was with great reluctance that she handed the clothes over; her fingers trailed off the hat as it was taken from her. _Come back soon, my love._

The door closed with a snap. "TSK, TSK, TSK." He actually said it out loud. "YOUR CLOTHING ISN'T JUST DIRTY, IT'S TORN TO SHREDS! IT MUST BE REPAIRED. NO LESS WILL DO!" His voice strengthened with resolve. "HUMAN, I AM TAKING YOUR CLOTHES TO THE INNKEEPER. DON'T WORRY, SHE'S GOOD AT FIXING CLOTHES! WHEN SHE'S DONE WITH THEM, YOU WILL LOOK LIKE…" He paused. "SOMETHING VERY FANCY! I WILL RETURN SOON!" There was the faint sound of footsteps, along with a distant "NYEH HEH HEH!"

 _But..._ "Wait, what'll I wear in the meantime?"

Papyrus was already gone.

Auvie stood in the still and empty bathroom, naked and shivering.

 _Well._

 _Guess I should take that shower now._

She firmly locked the door with a _click_.

* * *

A few minutes later, Auvie stood beneath the showerhead, hot water streaming down her body. The curtain was drawn; she wasn't sure Sans was in the house, and she doubted he would come down here, but she didn't want to take any chances. _Especially since he can teleport._

She ran her fingers through her hair, watching as the dirt was washed away. It was _luxurious._ And also a bit mortifying, seeing what had been on her skin. _I'm surprised Sans would even have gotten within ten feet of me, let alone done those… other things._ Then again, Sans was kind of a slob himself. _I wonder how long it's been since_ _ **he**_ _showered._

Not that any of that mattered now. Auvie hung her head below the water. After what had happened, she wasn't sure they could actually make up. _Maybe I should tell Papyrus that._ She'd been a little too overwhelmed to say anything earlier. _Still, he's offered me this hospitality. Might as well take advantage of it._ She looked over the line of bottles on her left.

MTT Brand Hand Scream. MTT Brand Bloody Wash. MTT Brand Sham… Shamboo? _Shamboo?_ She stifled a giggle. _What ARE these?_ Bath products, by the looks of things… She turned over the bottles and read the backs. _There isn't anything that says "Not to be used by humans" on here, but…_ After testing the products to make sure they wouldn't corrode her skin, she bit the bullet and used them on herself.

Once she had successfully washed herself, she turned off the shower and stepped out, her hair and skin soaking wet. She took the large, fluffy towel hanging on the rack and wrung out her hair with it. To her surprise, her hair dried almost immediately. _What, is this towel magic or something?_ She wrapped the towel around herself; it had a similar effect on her body. _Guess so._ How nice.

There was a knock on the door. "HUMAN, HAVE YOU FINISHED YOUR SHOWER?"

Auvie was startled. "Um, yes. Just now." _Impeccable timing._

"GOOD." The doorknob rattled. "UNLOCK THE DOOR. I HAVE TO GIVE YOU YOUR CLOTHES."

 _Oh, thank goodness._ Auvie unlocked the door and quickly stepped to the side, just in case Papyrus decided to open the door more than was necessary.

He didn't, thankfully. Instead, his hand came through and set a pile of clothes in her arms.

They weren't hers.

Auvie stared at the mix of reds and blacks. "Uhhh, Papyrus-"

"THE INNKEEPER SAID IT WOULD TAKE A WHILE FOR HER TO FIX YOUR CLOTHES. SHE OFFERED SOME CLOTHES TO LEND YOU, FOR A FEE, BUT I HAD A MUCH BETTER IDEA." Papyrus's voice turned a touch smug. "YOU ARE LUCKY, HUMAN! I DON'T GIVE OUT MY CLOTHES VERY OFTEN, LET ALONE ONES IN MY SECRET STYLE!"

 _Oh, god._ This wasn't in the plans – then again, none of this was. Auvie held up the clothes.

 _Oh,_ _ **god**_ _._

They looked like Hot Topic squared. A red crop top with a skull on it, a pair of black shorts, fingerless black elbow-length gloves (with fishnet), a black lace choker, _boxers_ , and golden boots with red socks. An excess of straps and studs gilded each article of clothing.

Auvie clamped a hand over her mouth to muffle her noises of amusement and horror. _Who even manufactures clothes like this?_ The Underground's clothing stores, apparently. _Do I seriously have to wear this?_ "This is…"

"EXTRAVAGANT? DEADLY? CHARMING?" Papyrus sounded eager.

Auvie couldn't say no to that voice. "Yep. All three of those things." _Hoooooo boy._ She began putting the clothes on. The straps took some fiddling to get right, but she managed to slip on most of the clothes – including the boxers (egh) – with relative ease. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or dismayed to see that most of the clothing fit her. The crop top was a bit large, however; Papyrus's shoulders were wider than hers, so it draped over her top half.

Plus, there was the fact that she didn't have, uh…

"Hey, Papyrus," she called out. "Do you have anything like a…" _Come on, you're wearing the guy's clothes, you can't be shy now._ "…a bra?"

There was a long silence on the other end, then… "WHAT'S A BRA?"

Auvie grimaced. "Never mind." That was a conversation that she wasn't willing to have. Instead, she simply pulled her hair in front so that it rested on her chest. _Okay._ That would do for now. She looked at herself in the mirror.

Well, aside from the fact that she looked kind of ridiculous, it wasn't terrible. She felt like she could pull the look off. _I don't think I'm going outside in this clothing, though._ If anyone besides Papyrus saw her like this… If _Sans_ saw her like this…

"ARE YOU DONE YET? LET ME SEE!" The skeleton's voice wavered with equal parts excitement and impatience.

"Okay, coming." She took a deep breath, opened the door, and stepped out into the living room into the view of Papyrus.

Upon seeing Auvie, Papyrus's face lit up. "NYEH HEH HEH! EXCELLENT! YOU WEAR THOSE CLOTHES ALMOST AS WELL AS I DO! YOU CERTAINLY _LOOK_ THE PART…" He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "NOW, WE ONLY NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU _ACT_ THE PART, AS WELL."

 _Oh, sheesh._ "Papyrus, I'm not sure I can-"

Papyrus waved a hand at her. "SHUSH! NO NAY-SAYING FROM YOU! THAT IS ONLY FOR DOUBTERS, QUITTERS, AND FINE YOUNG HORSE-MEN." A cunning smile crossed his face. "WAIT THERE. DON'T MOVE AN INCH!" He bounded up the stairs and into his room.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_ Auvie sighed deeply, then examined her surroundings.

Now that she actually had time to look around, she was intrigued by how similar the living room was to that of the other Sans and Papyrus. The wavy blue and purple carpet was replaced with a red and yellow one, though she had seen that when she was hanging from the ceiling. The walls were black with red trim, as they were in the bathroom. All of the furniture, save for the TV, was in the exact same place.

It filled her with nostalgia.

There was even a book on the side table by the couch. _Papyrus said not to move an inch, but…_ Auvie wandered over to the table and picked up the book.

It was basically two pieces of cardboard taped together with some loose leaf. The cover read, _The World's Biggest Joke_. It didn't have an author.

 _Huh._ Auvie carefully opened the book.

There was only one word.

 _you_

Oh.

"HUMAN!"

Auvie jumped.

Papyrus walked over to her carrying an armful of books. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT. TO. MOVE. AN. INCH." He punctuated each word with a jab of his finger.

Auvie smiled guiltily, setting down the book. "Sorry." _I mean, I technically moved_ _ **more**_ _than an inch, but…_

Papyrus nodded graciously. "VERY WELL, I FORGIVE YOU." He took the books in his arms and spread them out on the floor. "HUMAN, I MUST CONFESS SOMETHING TO YOU. EVEN THOUGH I AM A VERY EXCEPTIONAL SKELETON, I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT DATING. I LACK THE PROPER EXPERIENCE." He stood up. "WHICH IS WHY I WENT TO THE LIBRARY THIS AFTERNOON AND CHECKED OUT _THESE_ ROMANCE RESEARCH MATERIALS!" He gestured dramatically to the books.

There were about six different books: a guide to dental hygiene, a guide to "laughing without sounding like a creep", a shoujo manga, a dating sim manual, a shoujo manga based on said dating sim, a catalogue solely devoted to socks-

Papyrus yanked the last one off of the floor and threw it over his shoulder. "EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE! BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY HAVE A USE FOR IT!" He crossed his arms, a blush staining his cheekbones.

Auvie's mouth twitched. "Okay. Do you want me to read all of them?"

"YOU MUST, IF YOU WISH TO DATE SANS! IN FACT, I WILL READ THEM AS WELL." Papyrus snatched the "laughing" guide off the ground. "AFTER ALL, I NEED TO ENSURE THAT YOU ARE DOING ALL OF THESE THINGS PROPERLY!"

 _Right._ Auvie bit back a sigh and picked up the dental hygiene book. _Might as well get the heavy reading out of the way._ She walked over to the couch and began to sit down.

"WAIT!"

Auvie halted, her posterior hovering a few inches above the fabric. "Huh?"

"YOU SHOULDN'T SIT ON THAT COUCH, HUMAN!" Papyrus grabbed her arm and yanked her away from it. "IT IS TOO SCRATCHY. WE PLACED SOMETHING ON IT A FEW MONTHS AGO… WHAT WAS IT CALLED?" Papyrus's mouth twisted in frustration. "ANYWAY, YOU SHOULDN'T SIT ON IT. IT HURTS, AND IT'LL GET ALL OVER THOSE CLOTHES!"

"Uhh, okay." _I have no idea what he's talking about._ She knelt down and sat on the floor. "Is this all right, then?"

"YES." Papyrus sat down cross-legged and started to read.

 _I guess we're going to read now._ After a moment's pause, Auvie opened her book and did the same.

* * *

Five books later, Auvie still had no idea how to handle the current situation.

 _I mean, I didn't think they were going to help that much_ , she thought, twirling her hair around her finger. The dental hygiene book had some surprisingly useful tips, even if the writing was stuffy. The "laughing" guide was not as useful; if anything, it seemed like a parody. The dating sim manual… was not useful in any way whatsoever. And while the shoujo manga books were full of cliché embarrassing situations, none of them came close to nearly killing the love interest.

In other words, Auvie was stuck in the same mess as before.

 _I need to tell Papyrus that we should stop_ , she thought glumly. _Right now, before it's too late._ Before Papyrus did something drastic. Before Sans could tell her to her face just how badly she had screwed up. Before they both got hurt any further. She looked over at Papyrus.

Papyrus's posture was straight as a rod. His eyes scanned the pages of the dating sim manual, absorbing every word.

 _I am_ _ **really**_ _not looking forward to this._ Auvie had always been conflict avoidant. _But this needs to happen. Here goes nothing._ She opened her mouth to speak.

Just then, the ridges above Papyrus's sockets shot up. He slammed the manual shut. "HUMAN!"

Auvie jolted back. "Uh, yeah?"

Papyrus set down the book. "WE HAVE A PROBLEM." He tapped his chin thoughtfully.

 _Yeah, we do._ Auvie didn't think they were talking about the same problem, though. "What's that?"

Papyrus's sockets narrowed. "ACTUALLY, THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. FIRSTLY…" He pointed at Auvie. "YOU DON'T HAVE A GIFT, DO YOU? TO RAISE HIS AFFECTION LEVEL?"

 _Affection level?_ From the dating sim. "Um, no. I don't think so." _Not that there's any gift that could-_

"BUT FAR MORE IMPORTANTLY…" Papyrus gestured at the books. "NOT ONE OF THESE BOOKS HAS INFORMATION ON HOW TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE AS FRAGILE AS MY BROTHER! THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT THE CARE AND ATTENTION NEEDED T-" It was like a light bulb flickered on above Papyrus's head. He smiled and rubbed his hands together. "NYEH HEH HEH HEH! I'VE GOT IT!"

Auvie didn't like the look in his eye. "…What?"

Papyrus stood up and, with a quick jerk, pulled Auvie off of the floor by her arm. "COME WITH ME!" He started pulling her towards the kitchen.

 _Why are we going to the kitchen-?_ The dread was settling in. "Uh, Papyrus-"

"NOT NOW, HUMAN!" Papyrus let go of her arm and started setting out… vegetables.

 _Oh, god, the situation's going to get worse if I don't say something._ "Papyrus, there's really something I should tell you."

The banging of the pots drowned out her voice. Papyrus set two on the stove, and brought out a bowl. "THE STAGE IS SET! AND NOW…" Papyrus spun around. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT SPAGHETTI IS, HUMAN?"

Auvie was speechless for a few seconds. "…Yes. I know what spaghetti is."

"I SEE." Papyrus had a small, sinister smile on his face. "SO I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT, THEN?"

 _Well…_ "I mean, kind o-"

 _SLAM._

His hands came down on the countertop.

" **WRONG**!"

Auvie jumped back a few feet.

"YOU ONLY _THINK_ YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE SPAGHETTI!" Papyrus's eyes gained a faraway look. "SPAGHETTI IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN TRULY MAKE. IT IS AN IDEAL, SOMETHING TO ASPIRE TOWARDS! YOU CAN ONLY DO YOUR BEST AND HOPE IT'S GOOD ENOUGH." His gaze sharpened. "THIS IS THE FIRST THING YOU MUST LEARN WHEN MAKING SPAGHETTI!"

 _I… I don't think I even._ "Papyrus, why are you telling-"

"THE SECOND THING!" Papyrus's arm snapped around, grazing the top of Auvie's head as he did so. "IS HOW TO PREPARE YOUR INGREDIENTS. PICK UP THAT KNIFE!"

Auvie took a step towards the knife, then stopped. _No._ "Papyrus, I can't do this."

Papyrus glared at her, raising an eye ridge. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?"

Auvie shook her head, her heart sinking. "Just that. I-"

"HUMAN, BY LEARNING HOW TO MAKE SPAGHETTI, YOU WILL ALSO LEARN PRECISION, DEXTERITY, AND CAUTION." Papyrus leaned forward. "HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO DATE MY BROTHER WITHOUT HAVING THESE THINGS?"

"The thing is…" Auvie trailed off. _My lack of forethought got me into this._ She had been careless when eating dinner with Sans, and could have seriously hurt him as a result. _If I learned to be more careful…_ It would take more than just one cooking lesson, and the possibility was remote, but…

Papyrus watched her with a smirk. "THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT." He pointed at the counter. "NOW PICK UP THAT KNIFE SO THAT WE MAY BEGIN!"

Auvie did so. _I can't believe I'm doing this right now._

Papyrus walked her through the steps of preparing spaghetti. It probably would have been easier had Auvie's hands not shaken the entire time; she made several mistakes. However, Papyrus was a surprisingly understanding teacher. Each time, he said something along the lines of, "IT'S ONLY NATURAL YOU WOULD FUMBLE. AFTER ALL, THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST LESSON!"

Eventually, the sauce was made and the noodles were ready to be tossed into the pot.

Papyrus turned on the heat. "NOW, IT IS TIME TO PREPARE THE NOODLES." He spun to face Auvie. "THIS STEP IS IMPORTANT! YOU MUST STAND NEAR THE STOVE UNTIL THE WATER IS BUBBLING." He leaned forward. "HOWEVER, YOU MUST _FACE AWAY_ FROM THE STOVE WHILE DOING SO, AND _LISTEN_ TO THE WATER! A WATCHED POT NEVER BOILS. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Auvie smiled hesitantly. "Yes." _I don't think that phrase is meant literally, though._

"VERY GOOD. DON'T MOVE FROM THAT SPOT! FOR REALSIES, THIS TIME!" Papyrus looked out the archway. "UGH, WE LEFT A MESS IN THE LIVING ROOM. HOLD ON, HUMAN, I MUST TAKE CARE OF THESE BOOKS. I TRUST YOU TO BE CAREFUL AND PRECISE WITH THE NOODLES!" He strode out of the kitchen.

Auvie positioned herself in front of the stove. _Well. I'm certainly learning._ She didn't know spaghetti could be made this way, that's for sure. _But I don't think I'm becoming more careful._ In the end, it really was just a cooking lesson. _It was stupid to think that this would change anything._ She groaned. All she could really do now was make sure that the spaghetti would come out all right. _Which isn't much._

"BROTHER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

Auvie's muscles tensed.

 _Oh, shit._

"could ask you the same thing. all this noise is interrupting my sulking. think you could tone it down for once?" His voice was barely audible, but it seemed to be coming from the living room.

 _Crap. Crap, crap, crap,_ _ **crap**_ _._ Auvie looked around. _I can't let him see me, especially not like this!_ She looked around the kitchen. _Could I hide behind the counter?_ But there wasn't enough space.

"YES, W-WELL…" Papyrus was stammering. "I'M BUSY! PREPARING SPAGHETTI! IT'S VERY IMPORTANT!"

Auvie's eyes slid over to the sink. _Of course! I could just hide in there!_ She couldn't believe she didn't think of it earlier. She grabbed the handle and yanked.

Inside the narrow space, a small black dog was curled up, sleeping.

It wore a sign around its neck that said "2 EDGE 4 U".

Auvie slowly closed the cabinet.

"chill, bro, I'm just gonna duck in and get a snack. I'll be in and out."

"OH MY GOD, NO YOU'RE NOT! ESPECIALLY NOT LIKE _THAT_! WE HAVE COMPANY OVER!" Papyrus's voice was a mixture of panicked and livid.

Auvie whipped around.

She was out of time.

His voice came into the kitchen. "yeah, well, 'company' is just gonna have to deal with a face full of… skeleton…" He trailed off.

It was Sans.

He was wearing nothing but a tank top covered in grease stains and black boxers with red hearts on them.

They both looked at each other in mute shock.

 _Come on,_ _ **say**_ _something._ Auvie forced herself to speak. "Uhh. Hi."

Sans stood there for about a second, sweat leaking down his skull.

Then he vanished.

Auvie blankly stared at the space he once occupied.

 _What._

Papyrus came into the kitchen, irritated. "CURSES! THERE GOES THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE! HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE YOU UNTIL _LATER_!" He patted Auvie's shoulder. "MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES. SEEING MY BROTHER IN HIS UNDERGARMENTS… THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE FOR YOU."

Auvie kept staring. "Uh."

He threw the uncooked noodles into the now boiling water. "DON'T WORRY, HUMAN. I WILL FINISH THE SPAGHETTI. YOU GO INTO THE LIVING ROOM AND…" He twirled his hand. "UNWIND. WATCH SOME TELEVISION OR SOMETHING."

Auvie belatedly realized that her mouth was open. She closed it. "Uh, yeah. Okay." She paused. "He… he'll be okay, right?"

"OH, MOST CERTAINLY." Papyrus's voice was dripping with contempt. "I'M SURE YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS BY NOW, BUT MY BROTHER IS A HUGE SLOB. HE COULD CARE LESS HOW OTHERS SEE HIM. HE'LL BE FINE."

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans was going to _fucking dieeeeeeee_

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

 _I guess Papyrus knows Sans better than I do_ , Auvie thought. She went into the living room and flopped down on the carpet, her empty gaze directed at the ceiling.

She just saw Sans in his underwear.

Though, if she were going to be honest, it wasn't much more revealing than his usual jacket-sweater-shorts combination. The only thing she'd seen more of was his arms, which had been covered in a bunch of little nicks and scratches. She wondered how he got them. _Probably everywhere, I'll bet._ She imagined herself running her fingers over them…

Immediately, she sprang up and turned on the television set before that thought could continue. She leaned forward and drank in every detail shown on the screen, burning it into her mind.

It was Mettaton. Well, _a_ Mettaton, anyway: he had two sets of arms and a large crack that ran through his screen. "HELLO, DARLINGS, AND WELCOME TO THE ARENA." His voice was… surprisingly soft, compared to the Mettaton that Auvie had watched on the screen at the other Sans and Papyrus's. There was something about his intonation that made Auvie's hair stand on end. "TODAY, THERE WILL BE AN EXCITING MATCH BETWEEN BREEN THE BARBARIAN AND OUR FAST-RISING ROOKIE, AARON. WHO WILL MAKE IT TO THE SEMIFINALS? I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE!" He let out a disconcerting giggle.

Auvie's nose wrinkled as she watched the ensuing violence. _Ugh._ It figured that a dimension like this would have an Arena. _This… is basically bread and circuses._ It made sense, with how bad everything was down here. Still, she forced herself to watch. She sighed with relief when the fighting stopped short of anyone dying; a defeated Aaron was loaded onto a stretcher.

"OOH, LOOKS LIKE OUR ROOKIE WAS JUST THAT: A ROOKIE." Mettaton swept his arm around. "STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT MATCH-"

Auvie turned off the TV.

"DID I MISS A MATCH?" Papyrus sounded so disappointed.

"Uh…" Auvie glanced at the TV. "Yeah, sorry."

There was a large sigh from the kitchen.

Auvie lay back down on the carpet. With no distraction, her thoughts wandered back to the things she'd been trying to avoid. _Sans_. She was already dealing with the fact that she had nearly killed him earlier; she didn't need to worry about what just happened. It introduced way too many troubling thoughts into her head.

About bones.

She covered her face with her hands and made various noises.

"IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT IN THERE?" From the sound of things, Papyrus was done working with pots; she could hear him clearly.

"Yes," she replied, sheepish. _I realllly don't need those thoughts._ Especially since the chance that things would improve was practically nil. _I am royally screwed._ And the longer she hung around here, the deeper she dug her own grave. _Maybe I should just say bye to Papyrus and take my leave._ That would probably be the safest thing to do.

The sound of approaching footsteps jarred her from her thoughts. "HUMAN, STAND UP! I MUST GIVE YOU SOMETHING."

She'd held off long enough. "Papyrus, this needs to stop."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED. NOW STAND UP!" His hand tugged on her arm.

She resisted as much as she could. "No, Papyrus, listen. I… I nearly killed your brother. There's no chance he'll want to be with me."

He stopped tugging. "I KNOW. I WAS THERE, REMEMBER?" His voice was… very patient, actually.

 _What?_ It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about. "No, I mean a second time. Earlier today. He did something to frustrate me, he reached out to touch me, and… I swatted his hand away."

There was a long silence.

Auvie didn't dare look up. She didn't want to see his face.

"AND YOU REGRET IT, RIGHT?"

The words startled her. She looked up. "Huh?"

Papyrus had his arms crossed. He was holding something in them. "YOU REGRET IT. THAT'S WHY YOU CAME HERE."

Auvie looked down at her hands again. "Well, yeah, but…"

Papyrus kneeled down. "HUMAN, IT IS TRUE THAT MY BROTHER IS FRAGILE. HE MAY ACT TOUGH, BUT HE IS A DELICATE FLOWER WHO REQUIRES TENDER LOVING CARE."

Auvie couldn't repress her snort in time.

Papyrus continued on, ignoring her. "AND I CAN'T SPEAK FOR SANS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'LL SAY OR THINK BY THE END OF THIS." He fixed her with an almighty glare. "BUT I DO KNOW THAT IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOES, I WOULD TRY MY BEST REGARDLESS. THAT IS THE PAPYRUS WAY!"

Auvie sighed. "But Papyrus-"

"BUT NOTHING!" Papyrus stood up. "YOU MIGHT HAVE REGRETS IF WE GO THROUGH WITH THIS. YOU WILL _DEFINITELY_ HAVE REGRETS IF YOU DON'T." He lifted his hand. "NOW RISE, MY PUPIL."

Even in her bad mood, she couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face. _Okay, Papyrus. You got me. I'll try._ She stood and lifted her head.

Papyrus immediately perked up, grinning. "NYEH HEH HEH! GOOD DECISION! HERE!" He handed her the object in his arms.

Auvie took it from him, and looked down at it.

Wrapped in sheets of cooking paper were swirls of noodles, topped by meatballs and surrounded by bell pepper slices arranged to look like flowers.

"IT'S A BOUQUETTI," Papyrus said proudly. "A BOUQUET, BUT WITH SPAGHETTI."

Auvie was speechless.

One of the meatballs shifted with a _squish_.

Papyrus carefully rearranged it. "ALL RIGHT! THE TIME HAS _COME_!" Without warning, he grabbed Auvie's hand and started pulling her up the stairs.

Auvie started. "Wait, _what_?"

"THIS IS WHAT EVERYTHING HAS LED UP TO!" They passed Papyrus's room. "YOU WILL PRESENT THAT BOUQUET TO HIM, AND YOU WILL ASK HIM OUT ON A HOT DATE! "

Auvie's remaining organs sunk out of her body and into the floor. _Oh, no. No no no no no. No._

No.

They stopped in front of Sans's door.

Papyrus let go of Auvie's hand. He gestured to the door pointedly.

Auvie was beginning to hyperventilate. _Shit._ She slowed her breathing down. _Okay. I'm… actually doing this. Okay._ Her eyes were burning. She blinked really fast. She reached out a hand to knock, hesitated, and looked over at Papyrus.

Papyrus gave her a look.

She took a deep breath and, before she could question it any further, knocked on the door.

She wasn't kept waiting long. The door opened a crack, then gradually swung inward. Sans stood there, wearing his usual clothes. He seemed… surprised? Confused? "hi," he said.

"Hi. Um." Her voice was fading. Her mouth was like static, moving up and down. She held up the bouquet. "This is… for you."

Nobody spoke.

 _There was… something else I was supposed to say._ "Also, uh…" She looked up at Sans.

He was staring at the bouquet. His eyes shot up towards hers.

She couldn't take it anymore. She hid behind the bouquet, trembling. _God, I'm an idiot._

More silence.

Suddenly, Sans spoke. "auvie, hang on. I need to talk to my bro for a minute."

Before Auvie knew what was happening, the door was closed and she was inside Sans's room.

Auvie stood rigidly near the entrance of the room.

Alone.

 _Well._

 _That could have gone… worse?_

Something in the corner growled.

She almost dropped the bouquetti.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

"paps, _what the fuck do you think you're doing_?" The words ripped out of Sans's throat before he could stop himself.

They were downstairs in the living room, where Auvie wouldn't hear them.

Papyrus seemed affronted. "HELPING YOU, OF COURSE!"

"this?" Sans gestured at his door. "how the fuck is _this_ helping?"

"I INVITED HER OVER HERE SO THAT I COULD PROPERLY EVALUATE HER AND TRAIN HER IN THE COURTING OF A SANS." Papyrus stroked his chin. "SHE PERFORMED… SATISFACTORILY. THOUGH THERE IS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT."

Sans dragged his hands down his face. This was fucking perfect. Now Auvie had yet _another_ reason to hate him and never want to see him again. _fucking great. just swell._

"HONESTLY, BROTHER, I DON'T SEE WHAT THERE IS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT." Papyrus was doing that belt-tapping thing again.

 _oh, yeah?_ "how about the fact that you just forced her to do a fuckton of things against her will?" Sans growled the words.

Papyrus was startled. "AGAINST HER WILL? HARDLY! SHE WAS VERY WILLING TO DO WHAT I ASKED HER TO." A cunning smile crept onto his face. "SHE REALLY SEEMS TO LIKE YOU, SANS."

"like _hell_ she-" Sans stopped. Heat crept up from the base of his skull. "you… think she likes me."

"I _KNOW_ SHE DOES. AND A PAPYRUS'S INSTINCTS ARE NEVER WRONG! NYEH HEH HEH!" He triumphantly pointed up at Sans's door. "NOW GO TO HER."

 _wow. way to not be obnoxious with the fucking pointing._ Sans grunted. "fine. but this conversation isn't over." He teleported to the upper landing and went into his room.

Then he froze.

There she was. Auvie was just sitting on the floor, near his mattress. She looked up at him as she came in. "Um, hi."

Sans couldn't move. "…hi."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Sans stared down at the carpet. _shit. shit, shit, shit. fuck. shitfuck._ He hadn't thought of what he would say. _I really fucked things up tonight._ He lifted his head. _maybe that's what I should start with._

Auvie cleared her throat. "Your, uh… friend over there has been growling at me."

 _friend?_ Sans followed her line of sight. "oh, that's garby. it's probably just hungry. hang on." He kicked a crumpled receipt over at Garby, who promptly devoured it.

Auvie wore a faintly bemused smile.

The silence returned.

The longer it stretched out, the worse Sans felt. _holy shit, my room is a disaster area. why did I think it was a good idea to shove her in here?_ The room was messy enough to ruin a marriage. _and I left her in here after I had fucked up so many times already._ This situation just kept getting better and better.

"…I'm sorry."

Sans gave Auvie a startled look.

She was staring at the floor, still holding the weird-ass bouquet that Papyrus had given her. "I… really messed up. At the dinner." She tilted her face down further. Her voice was tremulous. "You were just messing around, and I shouldn't have gotten violent. I…" She didn't finish the sentence.

Sans couldn't believe what he was hearing. _she thinks it's her fault. of course she does._ After a few moments, he shook his head. "you're doing that thing again."

Auvie's face turned up toward him. The skin around her eyes was puffy and red. "Huh?"

Sans carefully lowered himself to the floor next to her. "that thing where you apologize for shit that isn't your fault. you did the same thing earlier, right after it happened, too." His cussing sounded more vulgar right now, for some reason. He rubbed the back of his skull. "look, I'm the one who… screwed up here. the fact that I upset you? that was intentional. I was pushing your buttons, testing to see how much you'd put up with. I'm the one who needs to apologize." He couldn't bear to look at her right now. "Sorry."

Auvie didn't respond for a long time. When she did, her voice was low. "Why?"

Sans closed his sockets. "I dunno."

Yet another silence.

The silence was becoming unbearable. Sans clenched and unclenched his fists. "you know, it's okay to hate me. really."

Auvie glanced at him, then turned away, shaking her head. "I don't hate you."

Sans gave her a skeptical look. "like hell you don't."

"I don't hate you," she replied, more firmly this time. She was watching him out of the corner of her eye.

Sans rubbed his temple. "you are way too fucking patient, I swear. it's unhealthy."

"Not patient enough to hold my temper," Auvie answered, her tone sour. "I could have killed you."

Sans raised a brow. "what, that love tap? takes a lot more than that to kill me. couldn't kill a fly with that shit."

Auvie seemed unsure. "I was pretty angry. That matters when it comes to monsters."

 _well, yeah._ It was terrifying, to be honest. "sure, you were angry," Sans conceded. "but look." He held out his hand.

Aside from the little nicks and dents he'd gotten over the years, it was perfectly healthy.

Auvie seemed relieved. Still, guilt was written across her face. "It's… really okay?"

Sans rolled his eyes. "go ahead. touch it. it's fine."

Cautiously, Auvie took one of her hands off the bouquet and put her fingertips on his hand.

 _god, she's acting like I'm made of fine china._ Sans almost wanted to feign dying. _pretty sure that would destroy things between us forever._

Satisfied that her touch wasn't instantly killing him, Auvie took his hand in hers, then slowly and gently explored it with her fingers. The tips of them ran across each surface. Whenever she hit a bump or line, she changed trajectory to trace it. It was like she was mapping his hand, memorizing the shapes and contours.

Sans watched her, his spine tingling. _I tried to kill this lady. she nearly killed me. and yet, here I am, letting her hold my hand. what the fuck is my life._ Not that he had any complaints about the experience. It was borderline euphoric.

Auvie pressed her fingers against the underside of his thumb.

A high-pitched hum slipped out of Sans's mouth.

Mortified, Auvie let go of his hand. "Oh, shit. I'm so sorry."

Sans coughed to cover up his embarrassment. "'s fine. just a sensitive part of my hand, is all. didn't hurt or nothin'." _fuck, can't believe I just made that noise. what am I, twelve?_

Auvie covered her face with her hands. "I am so sorry. I just… I got carried away. I'm sorry."

 _eh, shit._ "and there it is again." Sans nudged her shoulder. "thought I told you to stop apologizing."

Auvie didn't emerge from her hand cocoon. "Sorry," she muttered.

 _it's a vicious cycle. it just keeps going._ Sans suppressed a sigh. Then he noticed her clothing. _I guess she had to change out of the other ones. still, they seem…_ "are those… my brother's clothes?"

Auvie peeked through her fingers. "Uhhh, yeah. He lent them to me. Said, um…" She didn't finish the sentence again.

"color me impressed. my bro never lets anyone see or touch his clothes." Sans would burn in hell before he'd say this, but despite his brother's ridiculous fashion choices, seeing Auvie in those clothes… it was kind of hot. He looked away. "you, uh, don't look half bad."

"Thanks." Auvie's voice was barely audible.

"and he made that bouquet for me, too? can I see it?" Sans held out a hand.

"Uh, sure." Auvie carefully handed the bouquet to him.

It was cold, and one of the meatballs was about to fall out, but it was an impressive piece of food art nonetheless.

 _he made this for me?_ Sans grinned. "holy shit." He looked around his room. "I have no fucking idea what to do with this."

Auvie's hands were off her face, thankfully. "Yeah. I could… ask him to store it in the fridge, or something."

Sans waved dismissively. "nah, I'll worry about it later." _maybe I could heat it up and eat it for breakfast tomorrow, or something._ "by the way, sorry that he put you through all that. I don't know how he gets those ideas in that skull of his."

Auvie shook her head. "No, it was fine!" Her lips quirked into a smile. "It was a lot of fun, actually."

 _fun. my brother. sure._ Sans shrugged. "if you say so."

This time, the silence was more amiable.

Still, Sans found his eyes darting over at Auvie more and more often. She really did look nice. And she was right there. Maybe he could just slip his arm around…? _she'd probably be okay with it._ But how? The fake yawning act? _way too fucking cliché._ Maybe he could make some sort of clever quip. _"excuse me for a sec, but as the constitution says, I have the right to bare arms. namely, yours."_ _oh, fuck no, that was terrible._ Sans gritted his teeth. _I should just do it._ That was what he should do. He started to lift his arm.

Auvie's voice halted his progress. "I… should probably go now."

Sans stared blankly at her. "wait, now?"

"Yeah. I'm supposed to stay at the Inn." Auvie bit her lip. "If I'm too late, it might be full up by the time I get there." She carefully stood up.

Sans slowly rose to his feet. _you don't have to go._ "you know, you could st…" They didn't have any extra beds, and the couch still had fiberglass on it. "I mean, do you need a jack…" All of his other jackets were way too old and filled with holes to be useful. "…okay," he finally finished.

Auvie stared at him for a bit, then smiled. "Thanks. For all this. This was nice."

"yeah," Sans replied.

"I, uh…" Her smile faded. "Sorry again. About earlier. With the hand thing."

 _dammit, don't apologize. get back here and do it again._ Sans didn't voice his thoughts. "you have gone so far past your quota for apologies today. seriously."

Auvie hung her head. "I know, I know." Her eyes met his. "See you later?"

He smiled at her. "yeah."

Auvie turned around and began to leave the room.

Sans's mind scrambled. _come on, you dumbass. do something. she's leaving._ His eyes flew everywhere.

They found her hand.

She was opening the door.

Sans grabbed her hand. "wait."

She stopped. The doorknob slipped from her grip, and the door shut.

Sans was panicking. _fuck it. don't think, just act._ He'd gone too far already. He couldn't back down.

He took a deep breath, stepped behind her, and slowly wrapped his arms around her.

Damn, she was warm. So warm. He wished he wasn't wearing his jacket right now, just so he could feel her against him. The side of his head was pressed against hers. One of his arms encircled her waist, while the other was on her exposed abdomen.

She let out a small gasp when his bony hands came in contact with her skin.

Sans paused for a moment. _shit. what am I doing?_ He hadn't even asked if this was okay. He started to pull his hands back-

Soft palms pressed down on them. Fingers entwined with his.

He felt his entire body go weak. He burrowed his face into her hair, eyes half-lidded.

There was this spot, above where her hair flowed down her shoulder, right below the ear. The edge of her jaw.

Sans leaned forward, closing his eyes, and kissed it.

There was no way to describe how it felt to him, being close to her like this. He could feel her pulse pounding through him. For a few seconds, he felt like he was connected to her – her nervous system, her lungs, her heart.

He had lived as a monster his entire life, yet nothing had felt as magical as this.

Reluctantly, he pulled back, dazed.

She seemed equally stunned. It took her a moment to start breathing again.

Sans's mind fumbled with the words. "I owed you a kiss," he mumbled.

"Okay," she breathed. She was leaning against him.

They stood there in silence.

Sans eyed her jaw, pondering whether he should go back for another round.

There was an inquisitive rumbling noise.

Sans nearly jumped out of his bones before he realized the noise had come from the corner. It was just Garby.

They were in his bedroom.

…

Oh, fuck, they were in his _bedroom._

"get out," Sans muttered.

Auvie turned her head to look at him. "Huh?"

"get out, get out, _get out_." He started pushing her towards the door.

Auvie was sluggish. "What... did I do wrong?"

"nothing. you were perfect. get out." He kept pushing her. He could have just as easily moved her with his powers, but this way he had an excuse to touch her. _I'm fucked. I'm fucked. she needs to leave now._

"O-Okay." Auvie opened the door. Before closing it, she peered at him from the other side of it. "Sans, this… this was amazing."

He had to try really hard to resist the impulse to pull her back in. "likewise. see ya." Sans closed the door shut with a _click_ , then put the side of his skull to the door and listened.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie stood outside Sans's door.

She had no idea what in the world just happened.

 _But whatever it was…_

Her cheeks were still warm.

Her mouth turned upwards.

 _It was incredible._

"HUMAN!"

She nearly jumped out of her skin.

Papyrus stood triumphantly in the center of the living room, holding a stack of clothes topped by a blue hat. "HERE ARE YOUR GARMENTS! I TALKED TO THE INNKEEPER, AND SHE SAID THEY ARE NOW GOOD AS NEW."

Auvie's heart leapt with joy upon seeing them. "Oh! Thanks!" She quickly descended the stairs and took them from him.

"YES. SO." Papyrus watched her closely.

Auvie blankly stared back.

Papyrus tilted his head in the direction of the landing.

Auvie got it. "Oh, yeah! It, uh…" It was hard for her not to smile like an idiot. "It went well." _That's one way of putting it._

Papyrus was pleased. "HA! NATURALLY! YOU HAD _ME_ HELPING YOU!" He pointed to the bathroom. "NOW CHANGE, SO THAT I MAY TAKE BACK MY CLOTHES. FOR THEY ARE MINE. MY CLOTHES."

Auvie nodded and smiled, only half-listening. _Mmmm'kay._ She entered the bathroom.

After she had changed back into her ensemble, she exited the bathroom to find an impatient Papyrus. "VERY GOOD. NOW, WE MUST HURRY!" He ran to the front door.

"Um, could you wait a second?" Auvie crossed the fabric to Sans's door.

She couldn't hear anything on the other side.

"Goodbye, Sans," she said quietly.

She thought she could hear a grunt.

 _I hope I really didn't do anything wrong._

Though he did say she was "perfect."

Blushing, Auvie crossed back to the entrance of the house, head tilted down. Papyrus held open the door for her, and they left the house.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans waited for a few more moments.

They seemed to be gone.

He leaned the back of his skull against the door, breathing heavily.

 _shit. I can't believe that just happened._

His phone beeped.

He ignored sank to the floor, his face in his hands.

He was in too deep.

He was in way too deep.

And yet…

He couldn't help it. His face split into a grin.

 _hot_ _ **damn**_ _, what a woman._

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

They walked through the brisk night air.

"I KNEW IT, YOU KNOW," Papyrus was saying. "I KNEW THAT YOU COULD DO IT. AND I AM NEVER WRONG."

Auvie wasn't paying attention. Her mind was elsewhere. "Uh-huh." _He just kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me._ She had gone in there expecting a death sentence, and instead she'd gotten… _Oh my god, I can't believe he actually kissed me._ It was all she could do not to skip through the snow.

Papyrus stopped. "HERE WE ARE!"

Auvie looked up at their destination.

It was a dingy little inn, that was for sure. It looked pretty well maintained compared to the other buildings in this town, but it wasn't exactly a five star hotel.

To Auvie and her poor back, however, it might as well have been.

Papyrus pushed open the door, the bell tinkling. "INNKEEPER! WE HAVE ARRIVED!"

The innkeeper, a female rabbit, straightened up as they came in. "Oh, you made it in time." Her eyes fell on Auvie, and she stiffened.

Auvie was roused from her warm stupor by the look. She gave a small smile.

The innkeeper didn't seem affected by it. She turned to Papyrus. "So. The human. She's really allowed to stay here, is she?"

Papyrus nodded. "OF COURSE. SHE'S GOTTEN PERMISSION FROM CAPTAIN UNDYNE HERSELF!"

 _Right_ , Auvie thought. _She even gave me a piece of_ -

Her heart plummeted.

 _Oh, crap._

That wasn't good.

Auvie took a deep breath. "Uh, Papyrus, I had a piece of paper-"

Papyrus brandished said piece of paper. "YES! I FOUND IT IN YOUR POCKET. IT'S BEEN TAKEN CARE OF." He _tsk_ ed. "YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO CARELESS! YOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS SANS." He handed it to her.

 _Ohhhh, thank god._ Auvie ducked her head and smiled sheepishly. "Thanks."

The innkeeper watched their interaction, clearly unimpressed. "All right, then. You're allowed to stay one night. No more. Baths cost-"

Suddenly, the door behind her opened, and a small face poked out from behind the counter. "Mom, who's this? Is she the huma-"

Her voice sharpened to needles. "Honey, get back inside and don't come out until I say so. **Now** _._ "

The kid started and ran, slamming the door behind them.

There was a tense pause.

The innkeeper inhaled deeply. "As I was saying. Baths cost 50 G. We don't serve breakfast. Understood?"

Auvie was considerably sobered. _Wow. They… really don't trust me._ "Understood."

"Good." The innkeeper pushed a key across the counter. "This is yours. Don't lose it. Your room is the first door on your left."

Auvie picked it up. "Thanks."

After witnessing the transaction, Papyrus gave a satisfied nod. "I'D BETTER GET GOING. MY, ER, STRATEGIC FIGURES NEED ARRANGING." He turned to leave, flourishing his hand.

 _Wait, I haven't thanked him yet!_ Auvie couldn't go without thanking him, after all that he'd done. "Papyrus!"

Papyrus quickly spun, nearly knocking over a coat rack. "YES?"

"Thanks. For everything." Auvie smiled. "I couldn't have done any of that without you."

"NYEH HEH HEH! OF COURSE!" He crossed his arms. "AFTER ALL, IT WAS A SOUND PLAN WITH MUCH TO GAIN. MY BROTHER NOW HAS A HOT DATE, AND-" Papyrus stopped, brow furrowed. "WAIT. YOU DID ASK HIM OUT ON A DATE, YES?"

Auvie's mouth hung open. _Did I? I don't think I did._ "Uh…"

"YOU _DIDN'T_?" Papyrus stomped his foot. "CURSES! MY PERFECT PLAN, FOILED!" He stroked his chin, eyes shifty. "WE HAVE TO GO BACK AND START ALL OVER!"

 _Oh, god, no._ Auvie held a hand over her mouth to suppress her laughter. "That's okay, Papyrus, I'll just ask him the next time I see him." She cleared her throat. "But really, thank you. It… was a lot of fun. We should hang out again sometime." _Just not tonight._

Papyrus seemed surprised. It was a few seconds before he replied. "YES! YES, WE SHOULD! WE SHOULD MEET AGAIN AS… ALLIES! NYEH HEH HEH! SEE YOU LATER!" And with that, Papyrus bounded out the inn door and into the snowy street.

The innkeeper made a noise of disgust.

Auvie was hit by a wave of exhaustion. _Okay, it's been a long day, I need some sleep._ She turned around, went up the stairs, and quickly made her way over to her room.

Once she was inside and the door was locked, she took a look around.

The room was pretty minimalistic. There was a bed, an end table, an actual table, and a rug. A flimsy pamphlet was by the bed. A dirty painting hung on the wall; it was so smudged, Auvie couldn't make out what it was supposed to be.

 _Oh my god, an actual_ _ **mattress**_ _._ Auvie was about to fling herself onto the bed, but stopped to test it by sitting on it, first.

It creaked, but it was perfectly capable of holding her weight.

Sighing, Auvie took off her shoes and flopped backwards.

 _What a day_.

In the span of twenty-four hours, she had run away from a murderous fish, comforted a distraught dummy, played instruments in the dark, tangled with the mob, _befriended_ said murderous fish, nearly kissed Sans, gone on a disastrous dinner date, learned how to make spaghetti, and then…

The grin that she'd been pushing back ever since she'd left Sans and Papyrus's house escaped onto her face.

 _He actually kissed me._

She couldn't take it anymore. She flipped over and buried her face in the pillow, squealing.

* * *

 **Author's Note:**

Whooo! Bet you didn't expect to see notes at the _end_ of the chapter!

Anyway, I just thought I should let you know, it might take a while before the next chapter is released. Let's just say that it's going to be a bit more difficult than the rest.

Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 8: The Fall, Part 1

**Author's Note:**

Finally, Chapter 8 is done! You know, originally, this chapter was going to cover a lot more ground. But after working on it for a while, I realized that I would need to split it in half.

Then I realized that I would need to split it in thirds.

Pfffft.

So! Here is the first "third". I've kept you waiting long enough.

I should warn you, though: there's some heavy stuff in this chapter. Self-esteem issues, bullying, some mentions of suicide... this chapter deals with depressing things. As does the next one, which shouldn't come for a while.

Stay determined, but only proceed when you're ready.

* * *

 _Jump._

 _The cyan shafts whooshed past her._

 _Step, step, cross._

 _Auvie narrowly avoided getting a new ear piercing._

 _Slide._

 _She could feel the energy vibrating off of the spears._

 _"SURPRISE ATTACK!"_

 _Quickly, Auvie ducked and brought up the shield she'd been given._

 _ **K-chink!**_

 _The spear bounced off, and vanished._

 _Auvie stood still for a few more moments._

 _No more spears showed up._

Whew! _Auvie breathed a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her forehead, which grew colder in the frosty air._ That was even more intense than-

 _"SURPRISE SUPLEX!"_

 _Suddenly, a pair of strong arms clamped around Auvie and flipped her over, sending snow flying everywhere._

 _"Noooooo," Auvie mumbled, a face full of snow._

 _There was a cackle as her assailant stood up. "And you thought I was done! NEVER let your guard down!" A hand yanked Auvie to her feet, and her vision was filled with Undyne's grinning face._

 _Auvie smiled sheepishly._ How many times has she pulled this trick on me? _Only a few times, actually. It was meant to keep Auvie on her toes._ I keep falling for it. Even though she warns me in advance. Ugh.

 _Undyne brushed the snow out of Auvie's hair. "Y'know, you're actually getting pretty good! I'm impressed!"_

 _Despite herself, Auvie had to work hard to keep her glee contained. "Really?"_

 _"YEAH! I only came close to kicking your butt TWICE this time!" Undyne punched her shoulder._

Ow.

 _"WOW, AUVIE!" Papyrus came running down the path. "YOU LOOKED REALLY COOL DODGING THOSE SPEARS! YOU'VE IMPROVED!"_

 _Auvie smiled. "Thanks! You know, you're part of the reason I got this far!" It was true. She hadn't even come close to defeating him, but her practice with him had really increased her dodging capabilities._

 _Papyrus got… misty-eyed? "YOU'VE GROWN SO MUCH! SEEMS NOT LONG AGO THAT YOU WERE-"_

 _ **Click**_ _._

 _Auvie turned toward the sound._

 _Sans was holding a camera. He lowered it, grinning. "heya."_

 _Papyrus looked past Auvie. "BROTHER! WHY ARE YOU AWAY FROM YOUR POST?"_

 _"i'm on break," Sans replied with a wink, stowing away the camera._

 _"YOU WERE ON BREAK TWENTY MINUTES AGO!" Papyrus looked indignant._

 _"heh." Sans turned to Auvie. "hey, auvie. can i steal you away for a sec?"_

 _Auvie nodded. "Uhh, sure." She tried to think of something witty to follow up with, something about stealing, but she couldn't think of anything._ Rats. _One time, she'd had a comeback for one of Sans's puns, and it felt_ amazing.

 _"HONESTLY, SANS! YOU STEAL AUVIE ALL THE TIME NOW!" Papyrus tapped his foot. "YOU TWO ARE TOGETHER FOR HOURS AT A TIME! WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!"_

 _"Sorry, Papyrus." Auvie patted Papyrus's arm. "I'll come back and hang out with you two later, I swear!"_

 _Papyrus's smile returned. "I'LL HOLD YOU TO IT! NYEH HEH HEH!"_

 _Undyne watched the whole exchange with a weird expression on her face. When she saw Auvie looking, her expression changed. "Pfft, yeah, go do your thing with Sans! We'll have time to knock the stuffing out of you LATER!" She lightly jabbed Auvie's arm._

 _Auvie waved goodbye to them, rubbed her arm, then followed Sans down the path. She'd been working together with Sans for quite a while now. They'd go to Waterfall, find the focal point, then take measurements and write equations for several hours. It was really tedious work, to be honest, but… somehow, working together with Sans made things a lot less boring. Just when the work seemed unbearable, Sans would always joke or tell a story to lighten the mood._

 _Auvie put her hands in her jacket pockets. "So, what's the plan for today, Sans?"_

 _"no plan," Sans replied. His face was always hard to read, but it looked the slightest bit strained. "we, uh… need to talk."_

 _Auvie's heart sunk._ That's not a good sign. _Did he know how she felt about him? She'd tried to hide it as best as she could, but… she wasn't exactly great at it._ Or, more likely, he's talking about the work, dummy. Get your priorities straight. _The thought made Auvie feel even worse._ _"What about?"_

 _Sans stopped._

 _They were in a room with light walls and metallic tile flooring. Drawers lined the space below an alcove, which was messy with scattered papers. Against the other wall, there was a large object with a sheet draped over it._

 _Auvie had never been in this room before._

 _"this is my old workspace," Sans said upon seeing her questioning eyes. "haven't come down here in a while." His pupils dimmed. He took a few steps, looking around the room himself._

 _Auvie quietly observed him._ He wants to talk to me about something. _The suspense was killing her, but she knew she couldn't rush him._

 _"auvie, how badly do you want to leave?"_

 _The question startled her. "Hm?"_

 _Sans turned around to face her. "we've worked together for a while now. but you've never told me."_

 _Auvie thought about it. She'd avoided thinking about it for as long as possible. She'd stayed with Sans and Papyrus for over two months now. There were times that she got annoyed with them, or felt hurt, or wished she'd had a place of her own, but she really enjoyed the time she spent with them. Pretty much every day was an adventure. She was even getting used to the cold of Snowdin._

 _But she couldn't stay._ I miss sunlight. I miss my home. I miss rain – **real** rain. _She knew it was selfish, especially considering the number of monsters trapped in the Underground. Still, it was practically impossible for her to take them with her, and Sans had been happy to help her find a way home._ Plus, there could easily be more resets. I don't want to have a life like a skipping record. Not when I'm conscious of it.

 _The thoughts pained her, but she knew she had to get home._

 _She looked up at Sans. "I really do want to get home. A lot."_

 _Sans held her gaze for a few seconds before looking away. "yeah. that's what i was afraid of."_

 _Auvie was filled with dread. "Why? What's going on?"_

 _"i've been talking to alphys. we've looked at all the data we collected." Sans shook his head. "the odds of you making it back home alive, using the best methods we have… are about 45 percent."_

 _Auvie felt numb._

 _"we haven't collected all the info," Sans continued. "but it doesn't look good."_

 _The air filled with silence._

 _Auvie didn't know what to say. Or think._ 45 percent. _Less than half. Not the worst odds, but this was her life they were talking about._ If I tried leaving, there's a chance I would die. _She knew that working with dimensional fabric was dangerous, but this…_

I'll never see home again.

 _Auvie leaned against one of the walls._

 _Sans closed his sockets. "i'm really sorry, auvie."_

 _Auvie tilted her head downwards. She couldn't think of a response._

" _you… don't have to leave, though. you could always stay with us. maybe get a place here in snowdin." His voice was slow and cautious._

 _"Uh huh," Auvie replied dully. She felt like a bird who'd lost its wings._ I'll never see home again. Or the rain. Or the sun. _She'd never see any of them again._

 _"it's a lot to think about," she heard Sans say. "in the meantime, i'll see what else i can find." There was a pause. "we should go upstairs. this place… well, i'd rather not hang around much longer."_

 _"Okay." Auvie followed Sans out of his workshop and into the house. Soon afterward, he went to get something, leaving Auvie in the living room by herself._

 _The house seemed a lot different now that she knew she couldn't leave._

* * *

Auvie opened her eyes.

She lay in bed for a while.

Tears welled up.

 _Dammit, why couldn't it have been one of the happier ones?_

She sat up and put her face in her hands. It had happened a week before she left. She remembered the pain she had felt. _But it's nothing compared to what I feel now._ Because this memory only served as a reminder of what happened next, and what would happen if she continued to spend time in _this_ dimension. _If there are resets, then…_

Her fingers curled.

She couldn't stay.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Blood and dust.

Sans woke up to find himself curled around his pillow, sweating. He tried to calm his breathing. _fuck. dammit._ Eventually, it got to a normal level. He sat up.

"GOOD MORNING, BROTHER."

Sans went rigid as a board.

The door opened, and Papyrus strode in. His brow ridges arched. "YOU'RE ALREADY UP? THAT'S A SURPRISE."

 _ffffucking hell._ "mornin', bro," Sans muttered, dragging a hand down his face.

Papyrus turned around. "WELL, IF YOU'RE ALREADY UP, THEN I'LL JUST TAKE MY LEAVE."

 _wait, what?_ Sans tried to blink away the grogginess. "hang on, bro. we need to talk." About last night, and Auvie, and…

"I'M BUSY, SANS. GOODBYE. I'LL SEE YOU THIS EVENING." He shut the door behind him.

Busy? _busy doing what?_ Most of the time, he was just making spaghetti and building traps. _he's always too busy. doing absolutely nothing._ Sans glowered at the door, then stood up.

His notebook fell out of his pocket.

Sans stared at it for a second before scooping it up. _this thing… I've had it for years now._ Ever since he and Papyrus had left the Capital.

Blood and dust.

Sans shuddered, nearly dropping it again. _this is a piece of shit._ He'd originally kept it around to keep track of the resets and write down his thoughts in. Now, though… now it was just a reminder of his past and a load of other things he'd rather forget.

And that was even without what was probably _his_ dust covering it.

 _I gotta get rid of this thing,_ he thought to himself. Or at least find a place to put it until he could bear to look at it again. He had a job to get to – he'd deal with it on the way.

He teleported down to the kitchen.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Auvie was back at the focal point.

 _Come on, Auvie. Focus._ She willed her brain to turn to steel. She couldn't think about how she felt right now. She couldn't think about the fact that she couldn't stay. She couldn't think about the wonderful people she was leaving behind.

She couldn't think about what she'd say to Sans.

Except that she was. Right now. She groaned and lowered her face into her hands. _I can't do this._ But she had to. She just had to stop thinking about what not to think about. _Why am I so bad at this?_ She took a deep breath and touched the fabric with her fingers.

Her arm was enveloped in white hot pain.

She shouted and stumbled back, pressing up against the wall. She gritted her teeth and held her arm.

The pain faded surprisingly quickly, but it felt like every cell in her arm was jiggling. She inhaled and pulled off the glove to assess the damage.

She couldn't see any.

She sighed and stood up, dusting herself off. _Well. I shouldn't do that again._

A red light caught the corner of her eye.

Undyne stood a distance away, on the boardwalk. She was staring at Auvie, still as a statue.

Auvie gave a weak smile and waved.

Undyne nodded and turned around, walking away.

Auvie's smile faded, her hand drooping. _What do I do now?_ She could keep hammering away at the focal point, but that would only get her so far. She didn't have the technical or theoretical knowledge that she'd probably need to deal with this mess. She needed help.

And in the other dimension, there were only two people that were able to help her.

She held her face in her hands.

 _I'm going to have to talk to him._

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

Sans surprised himself by freshening up a bit and having cold spaghetti for breakfast before heading in to work. _heh. guess auvie is having an influence on me._ It simultaneously disturbed and enthralled him. He took a shortcut to his hangout bench.

The place was pristine – hadn't been discovered by anyone else yet. g _ood._ He pulled out his notebook. The sight of it sickened him. _fuck it, I'll just toss it under the bench and leave it there until I feel better._ He did so; it bounced off of the other book in the process, landing in the dirt with a _thwumph_.

 _good enough._ He teleported back to his station.

 **xxx**

* * *

 **xxx**

There was only one route to take, really.

She couldn't go back to his house in Snowdin. For one, it was too far away for her liking, and for another, she didn't want to risk running into Papyrus. She was having a hard enough time working up the nerve to talk to Sans; she couldn't face disappointing Papyrus, especially since he now considered her an "ally."

Going to the forest beyond Snowdin was also out of the question, for obvious reasons.

Which is why, minutes after leaving the focal point, she found herself at the bench. Sans's hideaway.

He wasn't there when she arrived; Auvie couldn't help but feel relieved. _I guess I'll just have to sit here and wait for him._ That wasn't ideal, but… she had always been a procrastinator. She sat down on the bench. _What do I say to him?_ What _could_ she say to him? Last night had been wonderful. She couldn't think of a time where she'd been so happy. And she wanted to be with him. _But I can't. I was deluding myself._ She guessed she hoped that this dimension was different from the other one – that the same risk wouldn't apply here. _There's still a chance that it doesn't_ , thought Auvie, a glimmer of hope in her mind.

Oh, who was she kidding?

Auvie covered her face with her hands. She couldn't do this. She couldn't sit here in agony, waiting for Sans to arrive. _I need something to distract myself with._ She'd already read his book, and she doubted it would provide much more distraction. Still, it was better than nothing. She fumbled around under the bench.

Her fingers brushed a dusty cover.

 _Wait, what?_

Her fingers crawled around until she found an edge of the book. She pulled it up and looked at it.

It was Sans's notebook.

Auvie was half tempted to throw it out at the body of water in front of the hideaway. Instead, she forced herself to slowly put it back under the bench.

About an inch away from the ground, she froze.

 _The other Sans wrote everything in his notebook._

He wrote equations, theories, ideas… _everything_ inside of it.

Auvie pulled the book back up and stared at it.

The dusty cover shouldn't have looked that inviting.

 _I shouldn't._ She bit her lip. This was important to Sans. _But then, why did he leave it here?_ He was probably coming back to get it later. _If I look at this book, it'll be a breach of trust. Any respect he'd have for me would be gone._ If he knew. There was a possibility that she could read it before he returned for it, then pretend she never saw anything. _But…_

She kept staring.

With a sigh, she opened the book. _If there's something in here that can help me, I need to see it. It's possible that it's just loaded with puns, anyway._ Auvie started reading.

She was right.

It _was_ loaded with puns.

Auvie turned the pages, eyebrow raised. _Well. That was a lot of suspense for nothing._ But even if this book had nothing but puns in it, she shouldn't have read it in the first place. _I should stop._

Her hands paused.

The next page didn't have _any_ puns on it.

Auvie leaned forward, her eyes drinking in every word.

 _okay, papyrus shouldn't look at this now._

 _anyway, this is sans. writing in one of the few remnants of the Lab._

 _it's been a week since the incident. what incident? fuck if I know. all I know is that something happened a week ago, and nobody but me seems to be aware of it. the project closed down suddenly, without warning, and_

 _I'm writing down everything about anything that I can remember. well, not everything. too lazy for that. but enough._

 _for one, I can remember being a kid. let's see…_

 **ooooo**

Sans looked through the ball on the shelf.

It was an orb, with tiny lines running through it, and it glowed a golden color. It was made from one of the crystals in Waterfall, then worked with magic and shaped into a sphere.

It was small and fragile, but full of power and potential.

Sans took it from the shelf, carefully holding it in his hands. He'd heard his desk neighbor say that the crystals in Waterfall could make a monster stronger, just by holding one. _this could work_ , he thought.

But he'd need help.

He ambled through the rooms and hallways of the house, the sphere cradled in his hands. He avoided any couches or steps; he couldn't risk breaking the ornament. Eventually, he arrived at Papyrus's door. He could hear Papyrus talking from inside – probably playing with his action figures again. _he doesn't like being interrupted._ Still, Sans was holding the ornament, and this was really important. _he'll understand, right?_

After struggling to hold the ornament in one of his hands, he gave up and, instead, bumped his head against the door three times.

No response. Papyrus was still playing.

Sans tried again, louder this time.

Papyrus's talking stopped, and his tone grew sour. "…WHAT."

Sans didn't let his brother's tone curb his excitement. "bro! i need your help!"

"GO AWAY. I'M BUSY." Papyrus's talking started up again.

Sans frowned. "bro, pleeeeaaase!"

The talking stopped.

There was only silence.

 _did he not hear me?_ Sans didn't know what was going on. He knocked on the door with his head a third time –

\- only for it to open, sending him off-balance and nearly keeling into Papyrus's bedroom. He stopped himself in time and straightened up, orb still safely in his hands.

Papyrus was glaring at him.

Sans sheepishly grinned back.

Papyrus glanced down at the orb, and leapt back. "WHY DO YOU HAVE THE GLOWY THING? WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH IT!"

Sans nodded. _it's okay! he's going to think this is_ _ **so cool**_. "well, see, you know how these things enhance magic? i thought-"

"GET TO THE POINT," Papyrus interrupted, clearly irritable.

"uh, okay." Sans held up the orb. "i think that maybe i can finally use magic if i use this! but…" He looked pleadingly up at Papyrus. "i need someone to teach me. please?"

Papyrus gave it a thoughtful look, then closed the bedroom door behind him. "VERY WELL. FOR I AM THE BEST TEACHER! COME WITH ME!" He walked down the hallway.

Sans followed him, grinning. "okay!" _my bro is the_ _ **best**_ _._

A few minutes later, they were both in the living room. They sat on the floor, the orb resting between them on a pillow.

"NOW, AS YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A SKELETON," Papyrus said.

Sans nodded, looking at the orb. "yes."

"THAT MEANS THAT THE BEST WAY FOR YOU TO USE MAGIC IS TO SUMMON BONES. LIKE THIS!" Papyrus summoned a small line of bones. They zigzagged until they spelled a name: SANS.

Sans stared at them, awestruck. "whoa." _my bro is so great!_ "it's my name!"

Papyrus looked embarrassed. "O-OF COURSE! FOUR LETTERS ARE SIMPLE!" Papyrus waved a hand, dismissing them. "NOW YOU TRY!"

Sans grinned. "uh, okay! i can do that!" He squeezed his sockets shut and concentrated. A few seconds later, he cracked open an eye.

Nothing.

Sans wilted in disappointment.

Papyrus's eyes narrowed. "AGAIN."

Sans tried again, but to no avail.

Papyrus scowled. " _AGAIN._ "

Sans began to perspire, his head spinning. "bro, it's not working, i can't–"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE _DOING IT WRONG!_ " Papyrus slammed his hand on the floor. "IT'S EASY! LIKE THIS!"

A bone shot up underneath the orb, sending it flying through the air.

For a moment, everything seemed to go in slow motion. The orb hovered, casting its glow on the ceiling.

Then it plummeted to the ground.

Sans snapped out of his stupor. "i got it!" He dove to catch it.

"NO!" A gloved hand reached for Sans.

The orb bounced off of Sans's hands, shattering on the floor with a musical tinkle.

There was a long silence.

Sans looked at Papyrus.

Papyrus was shocked. "YOU BROKE IT." His expression morphed into one of pure rage. "YOU _BROKE IT_! HOW COULD YOU BREAK IT?! YOU KNEW IT WAS SPECIAL!"

"it was an accident! i didn't mean to!" Sans's voice was tremulous.

Papyrus stomped toward his room. "THIS WAS A WASTE OF TIME! I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER WITH YOU! YOU ALWAYS RUIN _EVERYTHING_!" He slammed the door shut.

Sans ran up to the door. "i'm sorry! i didn't mean to! please, papyrus, come back!"

" _GO AWAY_ ," Papyrus snapped, his voice muffled by the door.

The tears started welling up. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm sorry," Sans whispered, leaning against the door. "i didn't mean to break it. i'm sorry." His brother wouldn't come out now. "please don't leave me alone. i'm sorry."

He cried and he cried and he cried.

For what felt like hours.

But no one came.

* * *

"it was important to you, and i broke it. i'm really, really sorry."

"It's fine, Sans. Accidents happen. I'll wait Until Gerson makes A new One. Just don't Leave the Pieces lying Around in The future, Okay? Someone could Get hurt."

"i'll never be able to use magic, will i?"

"…You come From a Family of Late bloomers, Sans. Give it Time."

* * *

Sans was weak.

Everyone said so.

He heard it when his classmates called him "brittlebones" at recess. He heard it when his teacher whispered behind his back about his "oversensitivity". Even his brother, when he didn't say it to his face, said it with his eyes.

"You're weak."

And he couldn't change it, no matter how much he tried.

* * *

Papyrus and Sans walked down the stone streets to the school.

"hey, bro," Sans said, grinning. "i think i've gotten stronger lately."

Papyrus gave Sans a sharp glance. "REALLY? HOW SO?"

"i'll show you! look-" Sans went over to a rock by the street. He wrapped his arms around it and, straining, picked it up off the ground. "look at me, i'm doing it!"

Papyrus glowered, unimpressed. "ANYONE COULD LIFT A ROCK OF THAT SIZE!"

A voice came from the rock. "Young man, put me down this instant!"

"huh? oh, sorry…" Sans slowly put the rock down. He ran back to Papyrus, panting. "but see? i've gotten better!"

"GOOD FOR YOU," Papyrus replied, staring ahead. Suddenly, a surprised smile split his face. "OH LOOK, IT'S MY FRIENDS! HELLOOOO!" He waved.

Ahead of them, a group of kids were walking and chatting. They looked back at the sound.

Papyrus waved so hard his arm threatened to come off.

They turned away, walking faster.

Papyrus's face fell, hand drooping. Then his eyes hardened, becoming determined. He ran towards them.

"bro, wait!" Sans started running to keep up with him. It was hard – Sans's legs were much shorter than Papyrus's. _i don't think i can do this._

"HURRY UP, SLOWPOKE," Papyrus snapped, still running. "OR I'LL LEAVE YOU BEHIND!"

"i… can't…" Sans's chest hurt. It was becoming hard to see straight. _i can't do it. i can't keep up!_ But if he didn't, he'd be all alone! Sans forced his legs to move.

He tripped.

 _Fwump._

Nothing but silence.

He was lying face down on the stone road. Nothing was hurt, thanks to his jacket, but he was so spent that he couldn't even muster the energy to get up. _i failed. i'm alone now. i couldn't do it._ He started crying, his tears turning the dirt on the street to mud. _here i am, a weak babybones, crying into the street._

A pair of hands grabbed him, lifting him up.

Sans opened his sockets.

Papyrus stared intently at him. "ARE YOU HURT?"

Sans stared back, startled. "n-no…"

Relief flashed across Papyrus's face, only to be quickly replaced with irritation. He set Sans down and grabbed his hand, briskly walking down the street.

Sans trailed behind, eyes wide with awe. _he said he'd leave me behind._ He smiled. "you came back for me."

Papyrus didn't even look behind him. "YOU'RE SO USELESS, SANS."

Sans's smile faded.

* * *

"HUMANS! Everyone get on the floor!"

Sans dove under his desk as his classmates did the same. He held perfectly still, waiting.

Waiting.

Waiting…

"ACHOO!"

 _SMACK!_

A riding crop whacked the desk next to Sans.

Sans flinched, but didn't make a noise.

More waiting.

Finally, after about five minutes, there was a tapping on the desk at the front of the classroom. "All right, drill over. Return to your seats."

Sans got back up into his seat. He rubbed the spot where his chin had been pressed to the ground. _ow._

The teacher tapped the riding crop on a nearby desk. "Loox, if there really were humans invading, you and everyone in this class would be dead."

Loox, an eyeball wearing a single lens, glared. "Yeah? What if I just attacked them with my magic?" He sent out a stream of white circles that twisted and turned like snakes.

The teacher pointed the riding crop at Loox, eyes livid. " _Don't talk back to me like that again, or else you'll get a lot more than a detention._ " The teacher lowered the riding crop. "Humans are sturdier than us. They can't be so easily defeated by such _cheap parlor tricks._ Even the Royal Guard…" They paused. "You cannot hope to defeat a human, not now. Your best chance is to hide."

"E-Excuse me, teacher…"

The teacher turned to look, as did the class.

At the back of the room, a Whimsun's hand wobbled in the air. "Could we just… talk to the humans? Maybe- maybe we could convince them not to kill us."

Silence.

The teacher smirked. "You think we should apply to their reason? Rely on their mercy?"

The Whimsun wobbled. "Ummm-"

 _WHACK._ The teacher struck another desk. " **HUMANS HAVE NO MERCY**. They are ruthless, killing machines. They cannot be reasoned with, they cannot be bargained with, they cannot be bought. When you are up against a human, you either fight, or hide. You cannot properly fight yet, so _you must hide_." The teacher swept the room with their gaze. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, teacher," the whole class spoke, the phrase engrained in their minds.

 _Ring._

The bell announced the end of school.

The teacher walked to the front of the class. "That's enough for one day, children." Their mouth twisted. "However, because some students need to learn the meaning of 'quiet', all of you will have to stay for five more minutes. In _silence_."

Everyone groaned.

* * *

It was the first time Sans was walking home by himself.

Papyrus wouldn't leave school for another hour.

Sans's pupils darted around, wary of potential threats.

"Hey, _brittlebones_."

Sans spun around.

There were three of them – all kids from Sans's class. They sneered, and one of them spoke. "You know, you'd be dusted the second humans invaded."

Sans turned back around and kept walking, his shaking hands hidden in his jacket pockets. He knew they didn't like him. They'd whisper mean things behind his back in class. They didn't normally approach him like this. _just keep moving. they'll get bored._

They were on both sides of him now. "It's a wonder you're still alive," another kid said. "Your brother has to protect you all the time." The kid's smile widened. "Hey, where _is_ your brother?"

 _just. don't. respond._ Sans gritted his teeth and walked faster.

"You need your brother to do _everything_ for you. Why don't you end yourself and leave some space for the rest of us? Good-for-nothing."

Good for nothing. "that's… not true," Sans found himself saying.

The bullies stopped. "What?"

Sans turned to face them. "i'm not good for nothing."

Laughter.

"Yeah?" One of the kids wiped a tear from their eye. "What _are_ you good for, then?"

"i'm good at dodging." Sans could feel his cheekbones heat up.

More laughter.

"Then **dodge this**!"

Pain.

* * *

 _Tink._

 _Tink._

 _Tink._

There was an angry voice.

It was fuzzy and unintelligible, like interference on a radio.

"Pipe down, will yeh," Gerson grumbled, bent over the table with a tiny hammer in hand. "Unless you want me to mess up and start over."

Sans looked around the room from his seat, hand clutching his mouth. They were in Gerson's forge. Apparently, he had something that could help? All Sans knew was that his mouth hurt.

The voice turned apologetic.

 _Tink. Tink._

Then it turned angry again, and a touch smug.

"Got the kids punished, hmmm? Good for you. Those connections must have helped." The ancient turtle chuckled, shifting something on the table. "So they can't lay a hand on him now. But you know, there's more than one way to hurt someone."

The voice replied morosely.

 _Tink tink. Tink tink._

The voice returned, this time sounding anxious.

"If you're REALLY worried about him," Gerson snapped, "then you'll shut yer trap and let me WORK!"

The voice was gone.

Gerson sighed. "You have an interesting feller there. Quite the rambler. Never heard him so angry."

 _is… he talking to me?_ Sans couldn't think of a reply, so he just nodded. _i've never heard him so angry, either._

Gerson turned around, holding something shining between two fingers. "Move your hand, boy."

Sans obeyed, hand trembling.

Gerson inspected him, then shook his head. "Nasty work." He turned back to the table. "Sadistic little brats. I HATE children."

Sans didn't know how to respond to that.

 _Tink._

"So, what did you say to make them so mad, hmmm?" Gerson held the shining thing up in the light. "Must've been a whopper."

"ummm…" Talking made everything hurt more. "they called me good-for-nothing. i said i could dodge."

Gerson cackled. "WRONG response. If you make a claim like that, make sure you can back it up, or bluff well enough that you won't have to. You'll look damn foolish otherwise."

Sans's head dropped. "shouldn't have said anything. should've kept quiet."

"Is that what _he_ told you?"

Sans lifted his head.

Gerson was looking at him from over his shoulder. "Staying quiet won't always make them go away. Sometimes, you need to fight back. Show them you're somethin' to be reckoned with."

Sans returned his hand to his mouth. "but i'm weak, and i got no magic. can't fight back."

Gerson made a _pfft_ noise. "Not with that attitude, you can't. Fists and firepower aren't your only options, hmmm?"

"…huh?"

" _Words_ , boy. You're a smart kid, aintcha? Use whatever's in that skull of yours." Gerson kept working.

 _Tink._

 _Tink, tink._

Sans frowned. "wouldn't they just want to beat me up more?"

Gerson let out a bark of laughter. "HA! Maybe. But it'll be because whatever you said _really_ got stuck in their craw. That's somethin'." He held up the thing to the light again. Looking satisfied, he turned around to face Sans again. "Move your hand again. And stop touching it – it's not gonna get any better if you do that."

"m'kay." Sans obliged again. His hand wasn't shaking as much this time.

Gerson's eyes flickered over Sans's mouth a few times, then he nodded. "Hold on, boy. This won't _hurt_ you, but it'll _hurt_." He moved his hand up.

"wha-" Pain exploded in Sans's mouth. It was white hot and blinding in its intensity. Sans could barely even think.

And just like that, it was gone.

Sans closed his sockets, then opened them again.

Gerson looked at him appraisingly. "No scream. Not so much as a gasp. You're tougher than you look, kid."

Sans felt his mouth where the pain once was. There was something smooth there, something… cold? No, hot. It was hard to tell. _is this…_

"It's gonna be sensitive for a while, so be careful with it. Try not to get into any more fights. And if ya do, try not to get hit." Gerson snorted. He went to a nearby shelf and started rummaging through it. "Other than that, you should be fine. It'll grow along with the rest of ya. Strong magic. One of my finer works." He held up a mirror, turning it over. "Here we are." He returned to Sans. "Take a look."

Sans looked into the mirror.

Right where his missing tooth had been, there was a golden one. It glistened in the light of the forge, standing out from the rest.

Sans touched his face. It looked so _weird_ , so out of place. _this... would look better on one of the other kids, not me._ On him, it looked ridiculous.

"I put a lot of work into that tooth. You better take care of it!" Gerson laughed. Then he took the mirror from Sans, put it on the table, and knelt down. "Okay kid, now you have to make that tooth count. Repeat after me: 'I'm the best, and I'll never go down without a fight.'"

"i…" Sans's cheeks were warm. _that sounds stupid._ "i'm the best, and i'll never go down without a fight…?"

Gerson was unimpressed. "What was that? I couldn't hear you. Speak up."

Sans's brow furrowed. _this is dumb._ "i'm the best, and i'll never go down without a fight."

Gerson nodded. "Again. Say it like you _mean_ it this time."

Sans clenched his fists. "I'm the best, and _I'll never go down without a fight._ "

The words echoed throughout the forge.

Sans loosened his fists, surprised. _did that come from me?_ "but… i don't-"

"You'll grow into those words one day. You just have to fake it 'til then." Gerson nudged Sans toward the door. "Now scram, kid. I've got work to do."

Quietly, still feeling his mouth, Sans left the forge and entered the outside cavern.

* * *

The bullies were punished. They couldn't physically harm Sans anymore.

So they resorted to words.

"Hey, ugly. What, did you think that tooth would make you look cool?"

But Sans hadn't forgotten what Gerson told him.

"least it's still better than any of yours."

It didn't make them go away, but at least he was fighting back.

"You're so short, I could use you as a step stool."

And little by little…

"you're so full of hot air, you wouldn't need one."

He got better at it.

"You should move to Snowdin 'cuz you're such a ' _flake_."

"and you should move to Hotland because… wait, no…"

Though there were misfires.

"You're such a weak punk, I could wipe the floor with you."

Still, eventually...

"nah, I wouldn't make a good mop. I don't have the hair for it, like you."

It was practically an art form.

* * *

Today had been a bad day.

Sans leaned against the wall next to the classroom. Eventually, he'd have to leave, and the bullies would follow him and insult him like usual. Normally, he would take it as an opportunity to get better at his comebacks.

But today… it felt like too much.

 _I have to leave eventually_ , he thought, trembling. _I have to face them, and I have to fight back._

So why did he feel so weak?

 _'cuz I_ _ **am**_ _weak._ He buried his face in his arms, sliding down the wall. He was still weak. He would always be weak. It didn't matter that he had a new tooth, or could insult people. _I'm still a brittlebones._

He stood up and walked down the hallway. _I wish I was at home,_ he thought. _I wish I was at home, and I didn't have to deal with any of this._ He rounded the corner…

…into his living room.

Sans stared at the scene. He turned around and looked where he'd come from.

It was still his house.

Sans couldn't believe it. _did I do that?_ No, he couldn't have. He didn't have any magic. _I must have blacked out, or something._ Sans walked back where he came from.

He was at school again.

Sans turned around and ran around the corner into the hallway-

He tripped and tumbled over onto something soft.

It was his couch.

He let out a whoop and flipped over. _I've got magic! I've got magic!_ He reached out and tried to summon bones.

Nothing.

He let his hand flop down. _was it… a fluke?_ It felt too real. _just teleportation?_ He felt disappointment settle in his chest. Teleportation was a neat trick, but it wasn't attack magic. _so I'm just a little more than useless._ Sans looked down at his hands.

Teleportation was only good for running away.

* * *

"Sans, you Know you Are capable Of teleporting Now. So why Do you Still walk Home from School?"

"is there something wrong with that?"

"No, it's Just that… You don't Seem happy. I thought You would Be happy About your Magic."

"it just gets me places faster. it's not like I can summon bones or anything."

"Magic is So much More than Summoning bones."

"…I just like walking."

"…Sans, if There's something You're dealing With, I want To help."

"no. i… I can handle it. I'm fine."

* * *

A kicked stone bounced along the road.

"You think you're some kind of big shot because you can teleport? Big deal. It's not even attack magic. You're still a wimp."

Sans kept his eyes on the road ahead. "well, at least I can leave if I ever get tired of staring at your ugly mugs." _doesn't matter if they're right, doesn't matter if they're right…_

"Yeah? Say that to my face, then."

Sans stopped. _fine._ He turned around, then instantly recoiled. "ewwww. they're even worse than I remember."

Suddenly, hands grabbed both of his arms.

Sans stiffened. "wh-what are you doing?"

A grinning face was right in front of his. "Not so tough now, are you?" Its owner backed up. "We're gonna teach you a lesson you _won't forget._ "

Sans gritted his teeth. "y-you can't hurt me. you'll – you'll get in trouble."

The bullies laughed at him. The one in front of him spoke. "You think we _care_ about that? If you're so scared of getting hurt, then just 'magic' yourself home. C'mon, you big baby!"

"it- it doesn't work like-" Sans was finding it hard to breathe. He couldn't stop sweating and shaking. _they're gonna kill me. I'll die._ He was weak, and he was going to die weak.

The kid summoned magic. It shimmered around them like an aurora. "You see this? This is what _real_ magic looks like!"

Sans couldn't focus on it. He was so scared, he could barely even think.

The kid lifted their arms. "If you're so great, then dodge THI-"

"Hey, PUNKS! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"

 _Shing._

The arms let go of Sans, and his world went spinning into blackness.

There were noises. Sounds of violence, yelps of pain. Eventually, he heard crying and retreating footsteps.

"Yeah, you BETTER run!"

Sans realized he was lying face down on the ground. His hood was over his head – he couldn't see anything.

 _i'm weak._

Gradually, he pulled back his hood and got up to his knees.

A pair of feet walked over to him. They were covered in scales. "Hey. Need help?" A hand entered his view.

Sans growled. He couldn't believe he had let himself get into that position. He glowered up at the hand's owner. "I **don't** need anyone's-"

Standing over him was the most incredible girl he had ever seen. She had brilliant red hair and large yellow eyes. She looked like a warrior goddess forged in the belly of the Earth.

"…help," Sans quietly trailed off.

His savior pulled her hand back with a scowl. "Sheesh. FINE. See if I ever save _you_ again."

Sans got to his feet. He tried not to stare in awe at the deity in front of him. "why'd you do it?" He rubbed his skull. "stick up for me, I-I mean."

The girl shrugged. "Why not? It's what the Royal Guard does! They PROTECT monsters." She puffed out her chest and grinned.

Sans looked at her in surprise. "you're a member of the Royal Guard?" _she looks like she's just a year or two older than me!_

"Not yet! That's why I'm practicing!" She shot a glare over her shoulder. "What better way to practice than to beat up some bullies?"

Sans had never thought of it like that. "oh." He stuck his hands in his pockets. "w-well, like I said, I didn't need any help. I was _fine_."

The girl rolled her eyes.

Sans glanced to the side, cheekbones warm. "…thanks, though." His gaze returned to his rescuer.

The girl seemed surprised. Then she gave a crooked smile, extending her hand. "I'm Undyne."

Sans carefully took her hand.

It was callused and rough.

"What's your name?"

He looked up and returned the smile.

"…sans."

* * *

The bullies didn't bother him anymore.

They didn't dare when Undyne was around.

Now, every walk home was something Sans looked forward to. He would stare at the classroom clock impatiently, waiting for the bell to ring.

And he never felt like he was running away.

* * *

They walked along the road.

"how's the training coming?"

Undyne sighed. "Blehhh. Teacher tells me I should stop kicking jerk butt. Says that I'm 'preventing weak monsters from growing stronger.'" She made a face.

Sans watched her. "but… aren't you, though?"

Undyne glared at him. "Don't _even_! Just 'cuz some people get tougher from fighting doesn't mean _everyone_ does!" She threw her hands up in the air. "And if they don't get tougher, then there's no point beating them up! It's just… useless."

Sans frowned. "yeah, but then… the monster beating them up would get stronger. right?"

Undyne's eyes were half-lidded. "Not really. I can easily beat up those butt-faces."

Sans grinned. "you're so _weird_."

" _You're_ one to talk!" Undyne reached into his bag and pulled out a book. "What nerd thing are you reading about THIS time?"

"Hey, careful!" Sans took the book back. "It's called _The Aeons of Greatness._ It's this story where-"

"Borrrrinnnng." Undyne snickered. "You're such an egghead."

"aw, c'mon." Sans tucked his book back in his bag. "the only reason you say that… is 'cuz I tell such good _yolks._ " He wiggled his brow bones.

The response was instantaneous. Undyne clamped her hands over her mouth. "Oh my god. Shut up, that was horrible."

"yeah, you're right." Sans's grin widened. "that one was _rotten_."

"OHHH MY GODD." Undyne lightly shoved him. Her shoulders shook with suppressed giggles. "Just stop. Right now."

"why? I have another one _cooking_."

Their laughter echoed down the streets.

* * *

He didn't feel weak with her.

He felt… happy.

…

Maybe that was why it couldn't last.

* * *

"Sans… I'm sorry. I can't be your girlfriend anymore."

"why? you don't like me? is it the puns? I can stop-"

"No, it isn't you. I just… don't like guys."

"…as in-"

"As in like-like."

"…"

"…"

"…that's fine. we can be friends. we can always be friends!"

* * *

"We can't hang out anymore."

"wh- _what_?"

"King Asgore… His Majesty is going to train me."

"that… but…"

"AND I CAN'T SEE YOU ANYMORE! OKAY?!"

"…fine. _fine_! I was sick of being your friend anyway! _good riddance_."

"Sans?"

"I'm going. since you don't want to _hang out_ with me anymore."

"…"

* * *

"hey."

"…Hi."

"…i didn't mean what i said. earlier."

"..."

"that's all i wanted to say. see ya."

"Sans?"

"huh?"

"He- he said it was okay if I wrote letters. We can still… write to each other?"

"…right."

* * *

And they did, for a while.

But even then, it wasn't the same.

It wasn't long before the letters stopped coming.

Sans was alone again.

* * *

"I'm sure all of you new students are excited."

Murmurs.

"But this isn't like elementary school. We're not going so _easy_ on you."

The murmurs stopped.

"You're becoming adult monsters now. We expect you to act like it. We expect you to finish your homework on time. We expect you to listen in class. And, most importantly of all, we expect you not to _waste our time_ if you aren't capable of the above. Failure is _not_ accepted here."

Silence.

"That goes for outside of class, too. We don't want to hear any complaints about 'bullying' or 'cruel behavior.' If you're truly monsters, _you'll deal with it yourself._ You'll never be useful to the Kingdom if you aren't capable of self-defense. Humans are a _lot_ more powerful than monsters. Is that clear?"

Sans's head was bowed. His "protection" from bullies would still last in middle school. But it wasn't any comfort to him.

"You are not here to lollygag or whine."

He was still weak.

"Either toughen up…"

Sans's hands tightened into fists.

"Or go home."


	9. Chapter 9: The Fall, Part 2

**Author's Note:**

Wow, has it been a long time! The more I attempt to get through this section, the more I end up having to split it in more parts. Uggghhhhh.

By the way, I read all of your comments and reviews, and I appreciate every single one! Please don't think that, because I don't respond, I must not care - I just can't always think of something clever to say in response. I love you all!

This chapter is a little shorter than the others. Be warned, though, this chapter is even more depressing than the last one. Those sensitive to subjects such as low self-esteem, bullying, suicide, and the like should brace themselves before reading this chapter.

I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Rest assured, I don't plan on giving up on this story.

So, without further ado...

* * *

ooooo

Some things changed.

Many things didn't.

The three bullies from elementary school were replaced by many others, kids who just wanted an easy target to pick on.

But Sans had learned his lesson. He wouldn't make it easy for them; he'd fight back with his words.

Plus, Sans had another tool in his arsenal.

* * *

Sans stood in front of his floor-length mirror, sweat trailing down his skull.

He took a deep breath.

 _I'm gonna do it._

Just to be safe, he quickly glanced down the hallway outside his bedroom.

No one in sight.

He called out. "hello?"

No response.

He was alone.

 _okay._ He returned to the mirror. _but do I really wanna do this? what if I get caught?_ No, he couldn't think about that; he had to be ready. _okay. okay. let's do this._

He took another deep breath.

Then he said it.

"fuck."

The word vanished into the still air.

Sans glanced around furtively. The ceiling, to his relief, didn't cave in, nor did anyone rush into his room, shouting. He tried another one. "damn."

Again, there was no response.

He grinned. _this is fun._ "piss."

The word bounced off the walls.

He snickered. He was into it now. "ass-"

A disapproving glare appeared around the door frame. "BROTHER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Sans flailed back. "oh, _shit!_ "

* * *

The bullies were even worse than they were in elementary school, equipped with better insults and harsher words.

"Nice jacket. Where'd you get it, the dumpster?"

Sans was ready.

"hey, at least in a dumpster, you don't have to pay for _trash_."

His reply wasn't always great, but when he had so many of them, they didn't all have to be winners.

"You're so fat and round, I could use you as a bowling ball."

"it's funny you say that, 'cuz you kinda look like a pin."

Eventually, people stopped seeing him as a weakling.

"You're a dumbass."

"well, I don't think with my ass. somethin' you wanna tell us?"

In fact, they almost _respected_ him.

"HEY! That… that was actually pretty good…"

Sans became less of an outcast and more of a curiosity. People actually wanted to hear his insults.

They thought they were funny.

* * *

It was between classes.

There were a group of kids crowded around Sans's table. They laughed and talked.

Sans casually leaned back in his seat. He didn't really consider himself the popular type, but he didn't mind the attention. _feels nice, being in the spotlight._

"Hey, Sans!" One of the kids pointed to another in the group. "What do you think about Froggit?"

"froggit?" Sans shrugged. "well, he's funny. but looks aren't everything."

The group of kids laughed. Froggit frowned. "Oh, yeah?" He pointed at another kid. "Well, what about Migosp? They have a weird face!"

Sans gave an exaggerated shudder. "that's their _face_?"

Everyone roared with laughter; Migosp was, by far, the loudest.

Sans just grinned and closed his sockets.

"Okay, now do Whimsun!"

 _whimsun?_ Sans opened an eye socket and scanned the crowd. Whimsun wasn't there. He sat up and looked around the classroom.

There, sitting in the very back of the class, was Whimsun. The same Whimsun who spoke up that one time to the teacher, if Sans was remembering correctly. Their eyes were glued to the paper on their desk. Their antennae were drooping. For all intents and purposes, they were in another world.

A kid cackled. "Yeah, do Whimsun! They're a total wimp!"

Slowly, Whimsun looked up and faced Sans.

In that moment, Sans's brain seemed to quiet. He couldn't find anything funny to say, anything smart or cutting. His mind drew a complete blank.

"Well? What's taking so long?"

Sans snapped out of it. "yeah, yeah, I'm thinking." He glanced back at Whimsun.

Whimsun was still looking at him.

 _it's easy to defeat Whimsun. all you need is a light breeze._ It was right there.

"Come on! Sans! Sans! Sans!" All the kids were chanting his name. They banged their fists on the table.

 _it's easy to defeat Whimsun._ The words were there. Sans shook his head. "there's nothin' to say."

The kids fell silent. One of them said, "Huh?"

Sans shrugged, trying to inject confidence in his voice. "nothin' to say about whimsun. whimsun speaks for themself."

Silence. Then…

"Boooo."

"Lame."

"Weaksauce."

"Boring."

Gradually, the kids left his table and sat at their own.

Sans scowled. _fine. didn't like you jerks anyway._ He leaned over his own table, shooting a quick glance at Whimsun.

Whimsun had returned their attention to their own things.

 _it wasn't worth it, anyway_ , Sans thought.

* * *

It was lunchtime.

Sans lugged a tray through the halls outside of the cafeteria, avoiding any outstretched limbs that sought to trip him. _finally._ He didn't know how the teacher managed to make the War between Humans and Monsters boring, but somehow they managed. _can't wait for this day to end._ He turned around a hallway and disappeared.

The roof of the building was inaccessible through ordinary means. Which was why it was so good for eating lunch in peace.

Sans rolled his head around his shoulders, stretching his neck. The gravel _crunch_ ed underneath his feet.

He slowed to a halt.

He wasn't alone.

Whimsun was there, eating their lunch. They looked up upon hearing him.

Sans blinked. _how'd they get up here?_ Whimsun could fly. _right._ "hey."

"Is this your spot?" Their voice was so quiet, Sans could barely hear it.

"uh, yeah, but you can stay." Sans walked over. "just didn't expect to see anyone else up here."

Whimsun continued eating their lunch.

Sans sat down and, quietly, started eating his lunch.

They both ate in awkward silence.

"Do you really think… there's nothing to say about me?"

Sans looked up, mouth full of food. "mmm?"

Whimsun didn't look at him. They stared down at their food.

Sans swallowed. "oh, you talkin' about that thing I said the other day?" He waved dismissively. "I just said that to get 'em off my back. y'know."

"But… there isn't anything to say about me, is there…" Whimsun bent over their food. "Nothing good, anyway…"

 _oh, c'mon, that can't be true._ Sans's brow creased. _there has to be_ _ **something**_ _._ But he couldn't think of anything to say.

"I'm not a real monster," Whimsun continued. "That's what the others say. I'm too sensitive… my attacks are weak… even the gym teacher…"

The gym teacher was a jerk. _at least you can use attack magic_. That was it. "hey, at least you can use attack magic. all I can do is get places faster." Sans remembered something. "you can use healing magic, too, right? that's important. most monsters can't do that."

Whimsun stared down at their food. "I'm not good at it. I don't like seeing monsters get hurt… I freeze up."

Sans shrugged. "you just need practice. I wasn't good with comebacks until I started practicing."

Whimsun shook their head. "It wouldn't matter anyway... even if I got good at healing, I'll never be considered a real monster…"

"is that what the other kids told you?" Sans rolled his eyes. "you can't let 'em get to you. they're all a bunch of losers, anyway."

Whimsun was silent, their gaze leveled upon their tray.

 _Ring._

It was the bell.

Lunch was over.

Whimsun floated off the ground, still holding their tray. "I have to go… thanks for letting me eat up here."

"sure." Sans flashed a grin. "hey, you can eat up here anytime. don't let those jerks push you around, okay?"

Whimsun didn't reply. They simply floated away.

The food on their tray was untouched.

 _they didn't eat anything?_

Sans frowned.

Maybe they just weren't that hungry.

* * *

Whimsun didn't show up to class the next day.

Nobody really noticed. The teacher didn't even say their name during roll call.

 _they probably got sick._ Whimsun wasn't exactly unhealthy, but they had a frail constitution. They likely got a cold and couldn't come to class.

* * *

Whimsun didn't show up the day after that, either.

 _must be a pretty bad cold._

* * *

Or the day after that.

* * *

Or the next day.

* * *

Or the next.

* * *

They found a note.

* * *

There was a school announcement the next day.

Nobody cried.

* * *

"…"

"…I'm sorry, Sans."

"for what?"

"I know You cared About them."

"…it's my fault."

"What?"

"I talked to them, the day before... if I said the right things-"

"No! No, no, No! Sans, this Is… nobody's Fault…"

"…"

* * *

That was when it began.

Every year, at least one monster… would disappear.

And there would always be a note.

Any absence caused a flurry of speculation. Were they gone for good? Did they just get sick? Did they get in a fight, and were they offed by another monster? The distraction was so intense that the students hardly learned anything.

The parents of monsters demanded the school do something. The school responded by enacting greater punishments for monsters skipping school. Any sick monster, instead of staying at home, was to report to the school infirmary. Those who were too sick to come to school were instructed to send a note to the school that they couldn't come. Anyone found to be faking sickness was given detention for a week.

It didn't stop it from happening.

It just made the announcements that much more shocking.

* * *

Sans exited from the classroom.

There had been another one.

The hallways bustled with students, but there was no talking. Their faces were always impossible to read – were they sad? Angry? Sans initially thought that all of the other students just didn't care – that it was a school ritual by now. But now that so many had happened, he understood.

It was numbness.

Everyone felt numb.

Monsters weren't allowed to cry in school. If they did, they'd be made fun of, or be sent to detention for creating a disturbance. There were occasional exceptions, like if a family member had passed, but they only had a day to grieve openly. After that…

Sans narrowly avoided someone's elbow. There wasn't time to think about these things. He'd forgotten a part of his homework. He'd have to-

His feet froze.

Like any school, there were bulletin boards scattered throughout the halls. Most of the time, it was the usual: upcoming events, exams, advertisements for clubs, and the like. Whenever a note was found, however, the monster's school photo was posted on the boards. They only hung there for a day before they were taken down.

Sans slowly walked up to the board. He hadn't heard the name in the announcement; he was too worried about how much homework he had to complete. He'd been so anxious that the name had fuzzed like static in his head.

He stopped, staring.

Staring back at him from the photo was one of his childhood bullies.

And he couldn't feel anything.

* * *

"Another one Today?"

"…yeah. it was… nevermind."

"…"

"…"

"…Sans. I want You to Promise me Something."

"huh?"

"Promise me That, no Matter how Bad things Get, no Matter how Terrible you Feel… you Won't do The same Thing they Did."

"…"

"Promise me. _Please_."

"…okay. I promise."

* * *

Sans didn't eat on the roof anymore.

He couldn't.

Instead, he ate anywhere _but_ the roof – always changing locations, making it hard for any bored monsters to find him and pick a fight. He preferred being alone.

He didn't need friends.

But the bullies seemed to find him anyway. _dammit._ He was tired of having to change where he sat. Scratch that – he was just tired.

 _you know what, maybe I_ _ **will**_ _eat on the roof._

 _just one last time._

With his food tray in hand, he turned down the hallway and took a shortcut he hadn't used in months.

In the past, he had looked forward to lunchtime. It was the only time he really got to be by himself, besides at his own house. Now, however, it just felt like a chore – eat food, get to class, repeat. He couldn't even bring himself to enjoy the food.

He just felt empty.

 _whatever. doesn't matter anyway._ At least by coming up to the roof, he felt truly alone. He stepped out onto the roof…

And stared.

Attached to the fence bordering the roof were pieces of paper.

They fluttered slightly in the wind.

 _When did they get there?_ Sans didn't remember seeing anything like this – they must've been added there after he stopped going.

They seemed to be magicked to stay on, because they didn't have anything else tying them to the fence.

They had writing on them.

Sans stepped forward to look at them, then stepped back in shock.

 _I'm sorry._

The notes.

The notes left behind.

Copies of them, anyway.

 _Forgive me._

 _I wasn't strong enough._

 _It's better this way._

 _No one will miss me._

 _I'm sorry._

 _I'm sorry._

This wasn't some art project.

This was a memorial.

 _how did they get up here?_ Sans's eyes scanned the notes. _you'd either have to climb the building, or fly, or…_ There were a few other monsters who could fly. Maybe one of them di-

Sans's eyes stopped moving.

A particular note in the center of it all kept his attention.

 _It's true._

 _I'm not a real monster._

 _A real monster wouldn't falter like me, wouldn't tremble like me, wouldn't be such a failure like me._

 _They wouldn't hesitate to fight anyone, let alone the humans who trapped us._

 _I wouldn't last in a human invasion._

 _I can't even last in everyday life._

 _I'm not strong._

 _Sorry._

 _We are all trapped in the Underground._

 _But maybe this way, I can be free._

 _That's selfish, isn't it?_

 _But there isn't anything else I can do._

 _I'm nothing._

 _I hope monsters are freed one day._

 _I'm sorry I couldn't wait._

 _Goodbye_

 _Whimsun_

Tears started flowing down Sans's cheeks. He couldn't stop them. Words poured out of him. "you aren't selfish. you aren't selfish. I'm the one that's sorry. if I'd known… I… I…"

He collapsed, sobbing.

Minutes passed.

Eventually, Sans sat up. He wiped the tears from his face.

 _A real monster wouldn't falter like me._

That wasn't true.

 _I'm nothing._

Not true.

 _I wouldn't last in a human invasion._

Sans became motionless.

The words echoed in his mind, like a clarion call.

Humans.

He didn't know why he hadn't seen it before.

The bullies.

The fighting.

The need to get stronger.

All of it.

It was because they were trapped underground.

Afraid.

Waiting to be slaughtered.

Sans's fist tightened.

 _this…_

He stood up.

 _ **this is all the humans' fault.**_

Deep within him, where there had previously been emptiness, there was a smoldering rage.

Sans welcomed it.

* * *

Not much changed after it started happening.

Sans was still insulted daily by his classmates, and he still had his comebacks.

The small, sadistic pleasure that he gained from it was one of the few things that brightened his life.

Sometimes, though, he felt like his insults were too harsh. That maybe he was going too far. _nah, they're all jerks. they deserve it._ Anyone who picked on monsters just because they were weak didn't get any pity from him. He was just defending himself.

Overall, the insults were a welcome part of his routine.

Maybe that's why he didn't see it coming.

* * *

It was gym class.

The gym teacher stood up straight, holding a whistle. "All right! You have a minute to climb up the rope after I blow this whistle. Anyone who doesn't make it in time has to do forty sit-ups! Ready?" The teacher blew the whistle.

Sans sat on the bench, casually watching from the sidelines. His attendance in gym class was basically a formality at this point; most of the activities were too strenuous for him to participate in. It irritated the hell out of his classmates to see him just sitting there while they were pushed to the brink. _not my fault._ After all, he was a "weak" monster.

"Hey, weakling."

Sans glanced up at the source of the voice.

It was Astigmatism. They wandered over to Sans. "It must be nice, having the connections you do. Having an excuse to sit on your fat ass all day."

 _they think they can get me with that?_ Sans grinned. "sure is."

Astigmatism sat down next to Sans. "You're just hiding behind the fact that you're weak so you don't have to work as hard as the rest of us."

 _fuck you. I work plenty hard._ Sans didn't say that. "y'know, I thought you were coming over here to tell me something _new_."

Astigmatism didn't seem fazed. "I bet you couldn't climb that rope in a thousand years."

Sans just shrugged. "you're probably right."

Astigmatism didn't relent. "Prove me wrong."

"nah."

There was a long silence.

Finally, Astigmatism stood up. "I guess you really don't care about how bad you look in comparison to your brother."

Sans's bones felt like stone. "what about my bro?"

Astigmatism turned toward him with a wide grin.

Sans mentally kicked himself. _shit. I fell for it._

Astigmatism sat back down. "At least your brother works hard. He always stays behind at school, doing work, trying his best, telling everyone how he's going to get into the Royal Guard. It's cute, really."

"my bro is always a hard worker." _dammit, shut up._ He was digging himself even deeper. _I actually_ _ **should**_ _ignore them._ But he couldn't, not when they were talking about his brother.

"Yes, he is." Astigmatism's grin faded. "Though… that's basically _all_ he is, isn't he?"

Sans felt cold.

"He gets a good grade, but not the best in the class. He runs fast in gym, but he's always bumbling and tripping over himself. And no matter how hard he tries, he can't even make friends. He's just so _clueless_. Always saying the wrong things at the wrong time… who would want a Royal Guard like _that_?" Astigmatism faked a sigh. "So sad." Then the grin returned. "I was wrong before. Your brother's worse than you. _You_ know that there's no point in trying."

Sans wanted to slam his fist into the center of that ugly eyeball. But he'd probably hurt himself doing so. _piece of shit._ He counted to five. It didn't make him feel any less angry, but it gave him time to think. _what can I say to that?_

"What's wrong? Nothing to say?" Astigmatism leaned in. "I'm surprised. You're usually so _eloquent._ I guess you can't beat the truth, even when it's about your brother."

It came to him. "guess so," Sans coolly replied. "by the way, how's your mom's drinking problem?"

Astigmatism became wide and bloodshot.

"yeah, you let me know how that goes." Sans turned away.

There was a sharp pain in the back of his head.

* * *

His sockets felt crusty.

Sans slowly opened them.

He was in a hospital bed.

 _what happened to me?_ He was flooded with panic.

There was a dull ache in the back of his skull.

Then he remembered.

 _oh. right. said that one thing to astigmatism._ He probably should have left it alone. _screw it. it was worth seeing the look on their face._ Though when he thought about it-

"YOU _IDIOT_!"

Sans started, sending a jolt of pain through his body.

A glaring, disapproving face loomed over him. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, PICKING A FIGHT LIKE THAT?!"

Sans blinked. "…bro?"

Papyrus paced around, agitated. "YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY PHYSICALLY OUTMATCHED! YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED SILENT!"

Sans frowned. He hadn't had a real conversation with Papyrus in weeks – usually, he was too busy focusing on school. _and now he's yelling at me._ "hey, bro."

Papyrus pointed a finger at him. " _DON'T DISTRACT ME WITH YOUR GREETINGS_!" He resumed his pacing. "IF YOU'RE GOING TO ENTER A FIGHT, YOU MUST BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE THE STRATEGIC ADVANTAGE! OTHERWISE…" He kept going on.

Sans laid back in bed, feeling stung. _right, because the fact that I fucked up is the biggest problem here._ "bro, could you lay off? I have a headache right now."

Papyrus walked over to the side of the bed and gripped the railing. "CLEARLY YOU AREN'T TAKING THIS SITUATION SERIOUSLY! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU WERE IN?! YOU WERE COMPLETELY UNCONSCIOUS FOR HOURS! YOU WOULDN'T TALK TO ME OR ANYONE ELSE! WE… WE…" His voice wavered. "WE THOUGHT YOU HAD _FALLEN DOWN_!"

Sans blinked, the realization dawning on him. _he isn't angry because I messed up, is he?_ His mouth widened into a grin. "you were **worried** about me, weren't you?"

"WORRIED?! _OF COURSE I_ – " Papyrus looked sheepish. "I MEAN – I SUPPOSE I WAS. A LITTLE. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

Sans only smiled wider. "love ya too, bro."

Papyrus flailed. "SH- SHUT UP!" There was a hint of a smile on his face. He cleared his throat. "ANYWAY, IT CAN'T BE HELPED. YOU CLEARLY HAVE A BULLY PROBLEM. I WILL HAVE TO ACCOMPANY YOU TO AND FROM SCHOOL FROM NOW ON. IN ADDITION…" He continued to lay out his plans.

Sans closed his eyes and let his brother's voice wash over him. It felt kind of nice to have Papyrus fussing over him. He really did miss spending time with him. Maybe Papyrus wouldn't think of him as a burden anymore.

"… SET TRAPS ON THE DOORSTEP EACH DAY. WE CAN'T RISK BULLIES ATTACKING YOU WHEN YOUR GUARD IS DOWN. YOU CLEARLY HAVEN'T IMPROVED MUCH SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL."

The words pierced Sans like an arrow. _haven't improved-? since_ _ **elementary school**_ _?_ Sans glared at Papyrus. "the hell's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Papyrus crossed his arms. "YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. YOU USED TO BE BULLIED BACK THEN, AND YOU STILL ARE."

"whatever." Sans rolled over and pulled the blankets over his head.

Papyrus stamped his foot. "HEY! DON'T IGNORE ME! DON'T GO BACK TO SLEEP, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SEEN BY THE DOCTOR YET!"

"not sleeping," Sans grumbled. _things_ _ **have**_ _changed since elementary school._ He'd developed tricks for avoiding bullies, he'd come up with better insults…

He'd…

Papyrus was right.

Nothing had changed.

Sans curled into a ball under the sheets, the words burning through him like acid.

It was the last month of the school year. He was about to go into high school.

And he still was weak as ever.

* * *

"Sans, I'm disappointed In you."

"join the club."

"I know You are Often bullied. I wish I could Do more To help You-"

" _I can take care of mysel_ - _"_

"-But just Because your Peers say Awful things To you Doesn't mean You should Stoop to Their level."

"this about astigmatism? didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"Astigmatism's mother Is a Talented woman With a Serious problem. By making Light of Her situation, You caused More harm To them Than they Did to You."

"…fine. I get it. it was wrong. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize To me. I'm not The one You hurt."

"…ugh."

* * *

The door opened.

"y'know, I appreciate the concern, but I don't need a bodyguard to go grocery shopping." Sans entered, rolling his eyes in his sockets.

"IT'S GOOD PRACTICE FOR WHEN SCHOOL BEGINS." Papyrus closed the door behind him. "NOW I MUST GO. MY, ERRR, _STRATEGY_ FIGURES BECKON!" He strode off into the house, turning into a nearby hallway.

"see ya, bro," Sans called out.

"GOOD DAY," Papyrus replied, slightly muffled by the house's walls.

The distant _click_ of a door closing.

Sans shook his head. If you had told him a couple months ago he'd be spending more time with his brother, he'd have been elated. But now, it just served as a reminder of how weak he actually was. _he thinks I can't handle myself. that's why he follows me around._ To say that he had mixed feelings would be an understatement. He entered the living room with a crooked grimace on his face.

Sitting on a nearby shelf was another orb, just like the one that had broken when Sans was young. Golden, lines running through it. It had been there for a couple of weeks now – apparently, it was a gift from Gerson. _great. another reminder that I suck._ It had been over ten years, and Sans hadn't developed anything even _remotely_ like strength. _fuck this._ He considered going to his room, but decided against it and instead flopped onto the couch with a _whumpf_.

The shelf shook with the impact. The orb was jarred off its stand.

It rolled toward the edge.

Sans stared in horror. _oh, fuck no._

It fell off.

Sans reached out to grab it…

And then the bones came from the walls.

Red bones burst out of the floor and wallpaper. They narrowly avoided the furniture, piercing the air like the sun's rays.

Startled, Sans closed his eyes.

He waited for pain.

He waited for the sound of glass hitting the floor.

But neither of them came.

Slowly, Sans opened his eyes again.

There had to have been dozens of them. Red bones were jutting from practically every surface, ranging from a couple feet long to the length of the living room. All of them extended towards a single point.

Perched perfectly on that single point, without so much as a scratch, was the orb.

Sans stared with wide eyes.

 _did… did I-?_

He looked around.

There was no one else there.

He stared back at the orb.

The bones hadn't gone away.

 _those bones… are mine._

 _ **I**_ _did this._

His astonished expression was replaced by a face-splitting grin. _I did this._ "I did this," he said to himself, as if to confirm.

And then he laughed.

His laughing was loud, echoing around the house.

 _I gotta show papyrus!_ "paps!" Sans shouted over his shoulder, afraid to take his attention off the orb. "paps, come here! you won't believe this!"

The sound of footsteps, and then his brother entered the living room. He stared at the scene with disbelief.

Sans grinned back at him. "big bro. I have _magic_. I stopped the orb from…" He trailed off.

Papyrus didn't look happy for him. He looked scared. "SANS. CAN YOU UNDO THIS?"

"huh?" Sans lowered his hand, and the bones disappeared. Thinking quickly, he caught the orb before it hit the ground. "yeah, sure. sheesh, bro, thought you'd be proud of me."

Papyrus came over to him and put his hands on Sans's shoulders. "BELIEVE ME, I AM. BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS."

Sans furrowed his brow. _can't tell anyone?_ "the hell? why not?"

"PLEASE." His brother's grip tightened. "THIS MUST BE OUR SECRET. YOU CAn't tell Anyone, even Papyrrrrrrrrrr

((1rqA)

#%

* * *

^&*($ans walked out of his first class, frustrated.

He had powers now. It was the best thing to ever happen to him.

And he couldn't tell _anybody_?

"dammit," Sans growled under his breath. He didn't care if it was important, or if there was a good reason for it – it still pissed him off. "stupid vague-as-fuck piece of-"

"You really shouldn't talk about yourself that way, Sans," drawled a voice to his left.

Sans turned toward the source.

Astigmatism casually strolled towards him, though their eyes glinted with a subtle anger.

 _oh, great. fuckin' perfect. can't even use my_ _ **powers**_ _._ "hey, stigs," Sans said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice. "about what I said last time we met… it was fucked up. sorry." _you waste of fucking space._

Astigmatism seemed startled for a second, then they rolled their eye. "Yeah, I'll bet. How's your head feeling?"

Sans knocked on it. "still works. didn't turn into dust or anything like that."

Astigmatism sighed wistfully. "A shame. Oh, well." They grinned viciously. "I'll just have to do better this time."

Suddenly, Sans was surrounded by white rings. They floated around his crown.

"You move, you die." Astigmatism's voice was cheerful.

Their classmates stopped what they were doing to stare.

 _shit_. Sweat crawled down Sans's skull. "you think you can get away with this? we have witnesses."

"So?" Astigmatism grinned even wider. "They don't care. I'm just providing entertainment for them."

The students had crowded around the two of them. Some of the students in the back were chanting "fight".

"yeah, well, how are the teachers gonna feel about this?" Sans was just buying time, and he knew it. "I still have that immunity, remember?"

"Punishment isn't immunity, Sans. I hurt you before, and no amount of punishment could ruin the satisfaction of _caving your skull in_." The circles got even closer.

Sans was out of time. He didn't know what to do. Insulting Astigmatism was out of the question. He couldn't teleport away.

His left hand clenched and unclenched.

His vision was blurring.

"Aw, what's the matter? You scared, Sans?" The mocking voice bounced around his skull.

 _it… it would be so_ _ **easy**_ _._

Sans started to lift his hand.

"What's that? Are you actually trying to fight back?" Astigmatism laughed.

 _I wanna wipe that ugly smirk off their face,_ Sans thought. He lifted his hand a little more…

Then stopped.

Before he knew it, the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"damn, Astigmatism. I didn't know you liked to play so _rough._ "

The chanting stopped.

Astigmatism took a step back, confused. "What?"

Sans was equally confused. _just roll with it._ It was the only thing he had at this point. "t-to be honest, I suspected you had a thing for me for a while now." His voice turned seductive. "I just didn't expect _this_."

Astigmatism's eye widened. "Oh, no. God no." They scowled. "Are you kidding me?! I don't like you, I _hate_ you! You're the _worst_!"

"hey, no need to be shy. I don't mind." Sans licked the front of his teeth and winked. "to be honest, this is kinda hot."

The crowd made various noises of disgust.

Astigmatism dismissed the rings. "Whatever. Whatever. I'm not even interested in this anymore." They didn't look directly at Sans. "Just stay away from me, _freak_." They started to walk away.

 _gotta keep the pressure on._ Sans shrugged. "m'kay. but if you ever change your mind-"

"Go to hell!"

"suit yourself." Sans lowered his shoulders.

The crowd began to disperse, muttering.

"That was so gross."

"I can't believe he likes that shit."

"Ugh... what a masochist."

Sans didn't care. He just stared down the hallway that Astigmatism had left through. He'd been frustrated that he couldn't use his powers before.

But that had felt kind of amazing.

* * *

"Sans… have You shown Anyone your Powers?"

"no. been hiding them like you asked me to. and you _still_ haven't told me wh-"

"Are you Absolutely sure?"

"yeah. I'm _sure_."

"…"

"geez, what's eating you, anyway?"

"…The King wants To see You."

"…the what?"

* * *

The king's palace felt… emptier than he had expected.

Maybe he just felt that way because he could hear the sound of his bones rattling.

 _the king wants to see me and I have no fucking clue why. except that it **might** have to do with my powers._

That thought alone would turn most monsters into nervous wrecks. A skeleton with anxiety? Forget it. It didn't help that the king had been secluded in his palace for years – he rarely ever came out to communicate with his subjects. Any decrees were usually relayed by the council of advisors and officials beneath him.

So why the hell would he suddenly have the urge to talk to someone like him?

The doors to the gardens opened.

Sans jolted back and became very, very stiff.

What emerged through the doors was a tall, muscular figure clad in black armor. Under one arm, they held a helmet. They had blue-green scales. Their yellow eye was cast downward, and their red hair flowed out behind-

No.

It couldn't be.

Could it?

"undyne," Sans whispered.

The figure halted in their tracks, cast in shadow. They looked back at him with that one eye.

It was definitely her.

Sans felt his shocked expression lapse into a wide grin. _holy **shit**_. He hadn't heard from her since they were little! _and now she's a royal guard. just like she said she would be._ The thought left him with such a giddy and warm feeling that he was almost left without words. He put his hands in his pockets. "heya. been a while, hasn't it?"

Undyne stared back at him. Then, wordlessly, she turned around and walked down the corridor.

Just as quickly as they'd come, those warm feelings faded. _not even a word for an old friend? great. nice to know that I matter to you._ Sans scowled at her retreating form. He should have known better by now, but… it still hurt. _guess our friendship's officially dead._

"The king will see you now."

The voice startled him – he hadn't seen the guard in front of the door. "uh, yeah. okay." His anxiety returned. Taking a deep breath, he entered the throne room of his Royal Majesty.

* * *

They both sat in complete silence, surrounded by a bed of black flowers.

The king looked the part – Sans wouldn't have expected anything else. Tall, solemn, a gold crown resting on top of his head. The only thing that seemed different were his eyes, which didn't stare at Sans but were instead downcast.

That was probably for the best; Sans was a mess. He had worn his best shirt and a clean jacket, and it was already sullied by the streams of sweat that were pouring out of him. _fuck. shit. fuck. just… don't think. don't think._ Over the years, Sans liked to think he'd gotten better and better at hiding his fear. Showing anger usually helped. Being polite, though? Completely out of his comfort zone. _just answer his questions. do whatever he says. don't fuck this up._

"Forgive my silence."

Sans nearly jumped out of his seat.

"I was merely… pondering," the king finished. He picked up his tea cup and saucer, sipping from it. "I hope the tea is to your liking."

"yea-yes. thanks." Sans had barely taken a single sip from it. "sorry, I'm, uh, not much of a tea person." Though it was more that he didn't want to show how much his hands were shaking. He was pretty sure if he attempted to pick it up, it would shatter in his hands.

"I understand." The king put the cup down in the saucer. It was a few seconds before he spoke again. "You know about the Barrier, I presume."

Sans tried not to laugh. Every monster in the Underground knew about the barrier. "yes, your majesty. it keeps monsters underground. needs seven humans souls to get ri- to remove it." _fuck, I'm really bad at this politeness thing._

"Seven," the king repeated. "And you know how many we have?"

"uh… five, right?" As soon as he said the words, it hit him how close that actually was. Five out of seven. If they captured only two more souls, then… they were basically free. _though who knows when the next human will fall down._

"Yes. Five. It is only a matter of time, now." The king's eyes glazed over. "But we do not really know what is waiting for us up there. How the humans will react to our arrival."

It took Sans a second to find his voice. "well, uh, that's what all of the training has been for, right? so we're ready for them."

"We will never be ready for them." The king's voice was dark. "We were not ready for them millennia ago, when they first trapped us down here. We were not ready during the War."

Something inside of Sans broke, just a little. _years of hardship, of being told how I gotta get stronger, and even the **king** doesn't think it'll make a difference._ "well," he grumbled. "what's the fucking point, then?"

 _wait._

 ** _shit._**

He'd just cussed in front of the king.

The king stared at him in surprise.

"I-I, uh, didn't mean to say that," Sans said, backpedaling as fast as he could. "it, um-"

"That is a very good question."

Sans peeked up.

The king wore a sardonic, bitter smile. There was something in it that was slightly terrifying. "What is the point of growing stronger if we have nothing to show for it? What is the point of breaking the Barrier if we are slaughtered as soon as we leave? There is no point." The smile slowly faded. "There might be a way, however."

Sans looked at him, his sweaty nervousness subsiding. "huh?"

"Whoever absorbs a human soul will gain tremendous power. Whoever absorbs _seven_ … magnitudes greater. But there are severe consequences. We do not know if the monster in question will retain their sanity, or will continue to work for the benefit of monsters. It is… unpredictable. And with that power… it is a risk better not taken." Asgore fixed Sans with a steady look. "This brings me to the reason I summoned you."

Sans gulped. "that so?"

"Indeed. Your powers, from what has been reported to me, are unprecedented. They are far beyond what is considered normal for a skeleton of your age – for any monster your age." His gaze did not falter once. "If we were to examine you, research your potential, and train you to use that potential to its fullest, it is possible we could duplicate those results in all monsters – building an army that might not fall. There would be no need for human souls aside from shattering the barrier." The king paused. "Do you understand?"

Sans was having trouble taking it in. The words fuzzed like static in his head. "so, basically," he said, very slowly, "you want to make me into a soldier. teach me how to use my powers, and study me. is that it?"

"Yes." The king sipped his tea, carefully watching Sans's face.

This clarification only made Sans more overwhelmed. _me? a **soldier**?_ That had to be the dumbest idea he'd ever heard – he was always the weak kid. Yeah, he might have developed powers, but that didn't mean he would make a good soldier. Hell, he didn't think he was even much of a _monster_.

 _It's true. I'm not a real monster._

Sans's breath caught.

Whimsun.

Whimsun and so many other monsters had lost faith. They thought they would never stand a chance in an invasion. They'd spent their whole lives underground, in fear and darkness, afraid of their fellow monsters and the humans above. And even the monsters who had bullied them, who had preyed on the weak – Asgore didn't think they'd make it, either. None of them would.

All because of the fucking humans.

He felt his rage smolder inside him.

Suddenly, he knew the answer.

"It will not be easy." There was that kingly glare, the one thing missing from Asgore's countenance – a gaze that could pierce through steel. "You will be pushed to your limits. You will be tested mentally and emotionally. What you have gone through up to this point is nothing compared to what you will be put through should you agree. At times, you may even wish you had never existed. Knowing this, would you still take on this task, for the sake of monsterkind?"

"yes."

The king's brow furrowed. "This is not a decision to be made lightly. Perhaps you should think on this. You can take a week."

"oh, you can ask me in a week, I'll just say the same thing." Sans met the king's gaze without hesitation. "hell yeah. I'll be your soldier, your majesty." A fierce grin crept across his face, the rage burning inside him. " **you're on**."


	10. Chapter 10?: (Not Really)

…As in, the thing that seems to be a chapter but is actually just a quick update.

Hi! Sorry if the title is deceptive. I just wasn't entirely sure you'd look at this if I labeled this as an "author's notes" sort of thing. And I was feeling mischievous.

Actually, I _have_ updated the fic. It's just that, instead of beginning an entirely new chapter, it's the end of the last one. I'd meant to write it in earlier, but I was so exhausted once I'd finished the previous scene that I couldn't wait before putting it out. The scene I've added is a really important one, though, so I hope you'll enjoy it!

Again, sorry for deceiving you. Still working on that new chapter!

Take care of yourselves, everyone!

(blows kisses everywhere)


	11. Chapter 10: The Fall, Part 3

**Author's Note:**

Hey! Sorry this chapter took so friggin' long. Things have been nuts on my end.

Honestly, it was gonna be quite a bit longer, but I eventually realized that I'm at a good stopping point and I didn't want to keep you all waiting.

We'll have to see how long the next chapter takes me. I have no idea when it'll come out.

Before I forget, in case you didn't see it earlier (as in, months and months ago, apparently), I updated Chapter 9 and added a segment to the end. It is _crucial_ to understanding this chapter - be sure to read it before you start this one!

Warning: This chapter has an intense scene featuring death. Viewer discretion is advised.

Love you all! Take care!

* * *

Deep breaths.

"Are the blasters set up?"

"Yes. We're ready."

Deep breaths.

 _you got this._

"You ready, Sans?"

The room was too dark for them to see his grin. "yeah."

"Very well. Beginning the test."

It was quiet.

Sans stood in the darkness. He listened carefully.

ooooo

"pretty sure my magic doesn't work like that."

"In the past, there've been monsters with similar magic to yours who developed the ability to teleport instantaneously. We think you could develop that same potential if you were pushed far enough."

"pushed in what sense?"

"Nothing that would physically harm you. We are well aware of your specific limitations. We just need to provide an incentive for you to move fast enough."

* * *

They had started with Nerf guns and foam pellets.

This was a top secret, classified experiment. The idea that they were using toy guns was almost insulting to Sans. But they had to start somewhere.

Sans hadn't expected it to work. He'd expected to disappoint them.

And the first few times they did it, he'd only dodged physically.

But then…

ooooo

 _Click._

The left wall.

Sans easily dodged the magic attack.

 _Click._

Behind him.

Sans dodged again, this time teleporting to the far corner.

This process repeated multiple times. Each time, Sans managed to get out of the way.

Eventually, the attacks stopped.

"Phase one complete."

"We have the data?"

"Yes. It's loading right now." Pause. "We've got it."

"Good. So, Sans… ready for round two?"

Sans smiled and cracked his neck. "you b-"

 _Click._

Sans just managed to dodge an attack from one of the corners. He glared in the direction of the viewing window.

"Nice work. Let's see if you can keep it up." They just sounded amused.

 _damn them._

Multiple clicks sounded at once.

There wasn't time to sulk. Sans continued to dodge the attacks.

ooooo

Sans got to the point where he could easily dodge most of the foam pellets – out of about sixty, he would only get hit once or twice. That was impressive on its own.

Still, these foam pellets weren't for fun. They were stand-ins for bullets. It would only take one to kill Sans. So it was decided that he needed further reason to dodge – punishment for failure.

Sans was physically weak, though. They had to get creative.

They did multiple things. Sometimes, they fed him something called "gross pills", which tasted like they were fished out of the dump. Sometimes they gave him chores, or other things to do. Sometimes, they sat him in a chair in an empty room and played people screaming at him for ten minutes straight.

Honestly, Sans didn't think the punishments helped much, at least when it came to dodging. He improved his technique, however, and didn't run into punishments as often.

Of course, his training only got harder and harder.

ooooo

The attacks stopped again.

Sans slowed his breathing. He had to admit, all the teleporting was starting to catch up to him.

"Should we stop, Sans?"

"nah." He straightened up and took a few more deep breaths. "let's keep going."

"All right."

Sans heard the sound of panels opening in the walls and ceiling. _the targets._ This part was fun. Something about being able to get his aggression out.

"Beginning phase three."

Silence.

 _Click._

Sans dodged out of the way and sent an attack back at the source.

 _Thunk._

He'd hit something, at least.

 _Click._

ooooo

Of course, there was more to Sans's training than just dodging.

Instead of going to school, Sans came to the lab. His schedule was made up of multiple "exercises". There was dodging practice, which happened at least once every day. There was target practice, which had only recently been combined with dodging practice. There were a couple of really fucked up activities meant to desensitize Sans to the kinds of things that would happen while fighting – activities involving explosions, surprise attacks, simulated blood and dust. Those were always fun to go through.

Then there was the intellectual side – physics, math, biology, first aid. Things Sans might need to know to use his powers, or remember in the heat of battle.

Some of it was useful, and fascinating. Some of it was boring.

Other things…

* * *

Sans stared dully at the teacher.

The teacher looked back at him, a mischievous glint in his eye.

Sans's gaze lingered on him for a few seconds longer, then flicked over to the screen.

Projected on the screen was a large anatomical drawing of a human male member.

 _this is what my training has led me to._

"So," the teacher finally said. "Any questions so far, Sans?"

"why the fuck am I learning about this?"

"Multiple reasons!" The teacher paced near the screen. "The most obvious reason would be for interrogation or distraction purposes. Most studies indicate that torture doesn't work – however, you might need to capture a human for information purposes, and you may not have many methods available to you. So, one potential way for you to harm a _male_ human without permanently disfiguring him – and this method can work on some monsters, as well…" The teacher pulled out a pointer stick. "Is to aim for-"

"yeah, yeah, okay, I get it." Sans ran a hand down his skull. "sheesh."

"Another reason," the teacher continued. "Is that it's important to know your enemy. In general."

"don't think I need to know them _this_ well," Sans muttered.

"Sans." The teacher grew solemn. "Humans are living beings. You'll be fighting them, but you'll see other parts of their lives, too. They're not just ruthless killers. You must understand this."

"and you're doing this…" Sans's eyes flicked back to the screen. "by showing me-"

"Yes," the teacher cheerfully replied.

They stared at each other for a while.

Sans rolled his eyes. "you sure this isn't 'cuz you don't want me in this program and you're trying to scare me off?"

The teacher was silent. "This is Your choice, Sans," he finally replied. "I can't Take it Away from You. BUUU_ _+++t I can make sure that the choice you make is an educated one."

 _educated, huh?_ He didn't think this really counted as "education", at least when it came to fighting humans. _whatever. if it gets him off my back, I'll deal._ Sans sighed. "yeah. okay."

"Good." The teacher started walking over to the computer. "Now, let me go over the _female_ human anatomy and some of its unique weak points."

There was a knock on the door, then a scientist entered. "Hi, sorry to interrupt, but I really need-" They stopped. "Uh."

ooooo

A row of clicks sounded along the wall.

Sans dodged all of them and, with one sweep of his arm, sent attacks flying toward them.

He waited for the next sound.

Nothing.

"Lights on."

The lights came on.

The test was over.

Sans blinked, the light burning in his sockets. _damn, that always gets me._ No matter how many times he did it, he was never prepared for how bright it was afterwards.

The door opened, and a couple scientists came through. "Congratulations, Sans," one of them said. "You've had the best reaction time so far. And not one of them hit you."

Despite his exhaustion, Sans grinned.

"Excellent work." The booming voice came from the doorway. King Asgore strode over to the three of them. "You are clearly making progress. It is good to see such improvement."

"wh-" _asgore? when did he-_ Sans spun to look at the two scientists.

"He wanted to see your results directly," the other one explained. "We thought it would impact the results if you knew ahead of time, so we didn't tell you. Sorry."

"uh, okay. no problem. good to see you, your majesty." Despite cussing in front of him when they had first met with no backlash, Sans still felt nervous around the king.

"Indeed." The king turned to one of the bullet dispensers built into the wall. "What is this device?"

"It shoots magic bullets, Your Majesty. It was designed by one of our interns. If it hits, it won't injure the target, but it'll turn their soul blue."

The king's brow furrowed. "So. There is no real danger, then?" His voice had something on the verge of disapproval.

"Yes," the first scientist said, then quickly added, "Of course, we've been using many methods of simulating danger. We've used several measures for desensitization, and the speed of the magic, while not quite the same as that of a metal bullet, is still significant…" They trailed off.

The king waited until it was clear the scientist was done. "That is all very well and good. However, Sans cannot be relied upon as a soldier if he does not hold under pressure. That includes the presence of actual danger." His voice was soft, but firm. "He must have experience of danger firsthand. I will let you decide when that is, but I advise against putting it off."

"We understand, Your Majesty." The scientists bowed.

Sans tried not to scowl. _presence of danger? how about every fucking day of my life?_ Still, he knew the king had a point. _I'm doing this for whimsun and the others._ A fierce grin spread across his face. "I hear ya, your majesty. don't worry about it."

The king held Sans's gaze for a long time, then nodded, turning away.

Despite the king's criticism, Sans couldn't stop a bit of pride from worming its way into him.

 _getting there._

 _not there yet, but I'm getting there._

* * *

They had changed a few things after the king's visit.

For one, there was a new simulation called silent mode. In them, Sans couldn't rely on his hearing, his sight _or_ his magic – he had to sense nearby attackers using just his other senses. It was both easier and harder for Sans than the others – easier because he didn't have to dodge bullets, but harder because he had to use different methods that he didn't usually rely on. Still, he adapted.

In addition, with much reluctance, they started using harder ammunition, stuff like BB pellets or paint balls. Sans had to admit, he was a lot more prone to freezing and skittishness, even if First Aid was nearby. Knowing that they would hurt if they hit him made it harder to move, apparently. Sans fought against it as much as he could, but it was difficult.

As time went on, more and more pressure was heaped on Sans to succeed, and it was getting to him. Sure, he was doing this for the sake of the monsters who had passed, but that inner rallying cry only worked so many times when he had to use it daily. His anxiety got worse. _I have to succeed at this. I have to get this right. what if I don't? I'll be a huge fucking disappointment._ The scientists were fairly easygoing outside of the exercises, and most of the time Sans was able to hold it together, but he didn't know if he could last.

He might not have been able to, if it weren't for one fateful evening.

* * *

It was after hours.

Sans had finished the last of his exercises about forty-five minutes ago. But he wasn't ready to go home – he had fucked up badly at the very end, and nearly had a mental breakdown because of it. He knew if he went back, there would be the usual conversation – "you know, it's okay to step out if it's too much", "no, I've got this, leave me alone"… he couldn't deal with it this time. So he was hanging out in the cafeteria, flicking a straw across the table.

His cell phone buzzed, and he groaned. He couldn't type out a response now. But he knew he had to get home eventually. Sighing, he stood up and walked out into the dark hallway.

As his footsteps echoed throughout the empty hall, he tried to think of things that he could say. His mind came up blank. _fuck. I don't want another argument, I just wanna lie down and forget about everything for a while._ That wasn't too much to ask, was it?

 _Click_.

Sans teleported back and summoned a magic attack.

The door near where he had been opened, and a long yellow snout poked out. Its owner turned to face him, and it wrinkled with a snort. "Wow, were you seriously gonna brain me? Rude."

Sans lowered his hand, his face flushed with embarrassment. "uh, _yeah_. could have made an effort not to startle me so much. who are you?" He remembered seeing her somewhere, but he couldn't recall exactly.

The snouted one pushed her glasses up. "Please. If you're going out into battle one day, you could at least make an effort to know the rest of your _team_. We met once, remember?"

"you…" It slowly came back to Sans.

ooooo

"Sans, I'd like you to meet the intern responsible for designing the machine used in your exercise." The top scientist gestured to a short lizard woman in a lab coat. "I have a feeling you two will get along well with each other."

"nice to meet you." Sans stuck out a hand.

"Likewise." The lizard woman shook his hand. "Sorry if my hand feels slimy. I forgot to wear gloves in the lab today."

Sans flinched back in horror.

"That is a huge breach of protocol-" The top scientist began saying.

The lizard woman smirked. "n00bs. I was _joking_. Anyway, my name is-"

ooooo

"Alfredo," Sans said.

It didn't entirely sound right.

The woman looked at him in disgust. "It's Alphys, _dumbass_."

Sans scowled. "whatever. what are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same thing. You should be long gone by now." Alphys peered at him. "What's keeping you?"

"just felt like sticking around," Sans muttered.

Alphys stared at him a moment, then let out a bark of laughter. "That's right, you screwed up, didn't you? Talk about embarrassing. Good luck going home after _that_."

Sans growled at her, then made to leave. He had enough problems without this asshole making fun of him.

In the darkness of the room behind Alphys, something glinted.

Sans stopped, his head tilted. "what's even going on in there?"

His view was blocked by a lab coat. "None of your business." Alphys adjusted her glasses again.

Sans gave her a half-lidded look. _she can't be a very smart scientist if she thinks that'll stop me._ He teleported into the dimly lit room and immediately recoiled in shock.

Humans.

Humans everywhere.

Well, technically, human merchandise. Human posters, human films, DVDs, VHSs, all neatly stacked against the far wall. In the middle of the room were several metal folding chairs, and projected onto a screen was a still image of a human's head exploding.

Sans stared at the bizarre surroundings.

"the _fuck_?"

The door closed behind him and Alphys rushed in front of him. "You can't tell anyone about this," she said. "If you do, I-I'll- I'll-" She winced at her own stutter.

Sans ignored her, staring at the scene. "how the fuck did you even get all this? human media is _banned_."

"The ban was lifted a month ago. Don't you follow the news?" Alphys didn't sound very confident.

Sans almost laughed. Honestly, he couldn't give much of a fuck about someone owning banned media. _but…_ He walked over to a shelf and picked up a DVD. On the front was a man in red walking up to a motorcycle. _why would anyone even watch this?_ Because it wasn't allowed? Humans were cruel and merciless beings. The things they made – at least creatively – couldn't be all that good. So why would anyone watch them?

Sans had to admit… he was curious.

"Look." Alphys sounded irritated, but Sans didn't look up to confirm. "What do you want to keep quiet? Gold? I've got about forty gold pieces on me if you want th-"

"I want in."

Alphys didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then… "What."

Sans took his eyes away from the DVD. "sure, people might collect this kind of shit just to break the rules. but that's not why you're doing it. you _like_ watching this stuff. for some reason."

Alphys looked uncomfortable. "Maybe. What's your point?"

"so, I want in." Sans grinned. "on whatever this is. that's my price for staying quiet."

Alphys's snout wrinkled in dismay. She seemed to think about the idea, though. Finally, she said, "Fine. But if you blab about this to anyone…"

Sans shrugged. "I'd be out of the club, too. I don't want that either."

Alphys's eyes weren't really visible from behind her glasses, but he had a feeling they were narrowed. "I'll have to start the episode over, then." She gestured to the screen. "Unless you want to watch something else, Your Highness?"

Sans held up the DVD. "what's this?"

Upon seeing it, Alphys relaxed a little. "That's a good movie." She smirked. "Lot of human death."

"Violence?"

"Oh, yeah. Tons of it."

Sans looked at the cover again. "I wanna watch this, then."

"Okay, but let me make some ramen first. That's what I was doing _before_ you tried to brain me." Alphys went over to the door and, with one last glance backwards, exited through it.

 _huh. well, this is one way to occupy myself for the evening._ Sans wasn't exactly sure why he was doing this. Boredom? Curiosity? Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he'd soon be fighting humans, and he thought this would give him a better idea of what they were like. He guessed it didn't really matter right now. He pulled out his phone and fired off a text: **won't be home for a while. hanging out with a friend.** Alphys wasn't a friend, but it was easier to explain than ally-formed-in-crux-of-moment. He pocketed the phone. He wouldn't be returning home as a disappointment.

He had a movie to watch.

* * *

Those evenings with Alphys were one of the most important parts of Sans's day. It gave him something to genuinely look forward to. The exercises all had things he could enjoy about them, but they could drive him to the fucking brink. With Alphys, however, he could just sit back, relax, and laugh at whatever grisly death was depicted onscreen. It was also a challenge to Sans – sometimes, he could feel himself relating to the characters struggles. If he could distance himself to the point of laughing at their deaths, well… one step closer to being a better soldier.

In addition, all the nights he spent with Alphys had made them closer, to the point that he could almost call her a friend. He'd never do it to her face, of course, because she was a shitstain and she'd probably just laugh at him, but it was a relief to have someone to shoot the breeze with that wasn't quite as attached to the project.

It wasn't too long before they were found out, however. A scientist walked in on them between episodes. But to the surprise of both Sans and Alphys, they were given permission to continue, as part of "human research." Sans had a feeling there was another reason, though.

In any case, it didn't matter.

All he knew was that, in a weird way, the movie nights kept him sane.

* * *

Things were a little different tonight.

Alphys hadn't been able to acquire the usual violent anime or thriller that they usually watched. There hadn't been anything like that at the dump, and there wasn't anything that Sans wanted to rewatch. So instead, they'd put in an older movie, a type that Sans hadn't seen before.

Two of the main characters, cowboys, were hurrying across the desert after blowing up a bridge.

"Ish movie ish too duamn long," Alphys mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn.

"yeah," Sans muttered. Still, he couldn't quite take his eyes off of it. Even though it was packed with action, there were a lot of quiet scenes where not a lot happened. He found it weirdly intriguing.

Things were quiet now. The two characters had approached the ruins of a building. One of the characters, however – the one Sans happened to relate to the most, even if he could be kind of a fucking idiot – had shifty eyes, and was clearly planning something. He walked away from the other and disappeared behind the crumbling walls.

 _if blondie doesn't catch on quick, he's gonna lose all the gold_ , Sans thought with a grin.

Then the grin quickly turned into a frown.

Blondie wasn't hurrying to go anywhere. He was approaching a man inside the ruined building – a dying soldier with a gray uniform. Not long ago, Blondie had been helping soldiers with blue uniforms when he blew up the bridge.

 _that man's definitely dead._ Blondie would probably put him out of his misery, or something.

But he didn't. Blondie was draping his coat over the man, and sharing a cigarette.

 _what?_ Sans's brow furrowed. That didn't make any goddamned sense. _now I know what I'm watching is fictional._ Humans were killing machines – if there was anything Sans knew, it was that. Sure, Blondie had done one or two more good things, but there had always been a benefit. This was nonsense. "what a load of bullshit. a human would never do something like that."

"Not necessarily."

Sans glanced over at Alphys, surprised. "Huh?"

Alphys shrugged. "Humans are a lot like us. They're both good and bad." She stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth, chewing and swallowing it before continuing. "It's not completely ridiculous that he'd do something like that."

Sans stared at Alphys as if she'd grown another set of eyes. "are you seriously defending humans? humans, who trapped us down here in the first place?"

"Hey, I never said they were _all_ good." She ate another handful. "A couple bad apples ruin the bunch. So it doesn't matter if there's some good in them. They'll all succumb to their worse natures, in the end."

Sans's frown deepened. What she said had made a lot of sense, but… _fuck no. I refuse to believe that there's even an ounce of good in any creature who would trap monsters underground for millennia._ Still, her words stuck in his mind, bothering him. He was silent the rest of the movie.

He didn't really pay attention to the ending.

* * *

It had all happened so quickly.

The first thing he remembered was that there had been alarms ringing throughout the whole facility. It had been in the middle of an exercise – it had startled him so much that he nearly ran into the path of a bullet.

The experiment had quickly been shut down, and the lights had turned on.

There were scientists behind the glass – they were approached by more scientists. Sans could see them talking through the window – they looked frantic, eyes wide.

 _shit, what happened? did the core malfunction?_ The thought made Sans's insides crawl with dread. If there was a Core malfunction, the consequences could be catastrophic. There were countermeasures meant to prevent it, but…

The door to the test chamber opened, and a scientist ran in. "Sans, there's no time to waste! We have to hurry!"

"what happened?" Sans gritted his teeth. "is it the core?"

"Nope." The scientist's eyes flashed. "We got one."

* * *

Sans stood in a different test chamber, trying to use every technique he was familiar with to keep his breathing under control.

A human had been captured.

And Sans was on his first test run.

Fuck, it had taken so much to even walk into the test chamber. Every inch of him had been trembling in fear – fear that he thought he'd driven out of himself a while ago. It had been Asgore's words that pushed him in there – it hadn't taken the king long to arrive to the facility.

"Sans, you may wait here as long as you like. But you will have to face a human eventually if you wish to help all monsters. I will leave the choice to you."

The king's eyes were dark, somehow.

The words had woken Sans up.

 _I'm doing this for Whimsun, and all the monsters trapped Underground._

He strode into the chamber.

And now he stood in place.

Waiting.

Sans didn't look over to the scientists. They were probably still preparing. Which was fine with Sans – he'd take every extra second he'd get.

"All our preparations are finished. Sans, are you ready?"

 _fuck, they're already done?_

They were waiting on him to answer.

"yeah." _no._ "just do it." Sans took a deep breath.

"Beginning sequence.

A hole opened in the middle of the chamber, and there were the sounds of mechanisms coming from the hole.

As he waited for the platform to rise, he lied to himself. _I'm not scared. I'm_ _ **excited**_ _._ That's why his limbs felt shaky. _all I've ever done has come to this._ He remembered Whimsun. _everyone's gonna be free, soon._ He was going to be facing a human – he had to be ready. He summoned a bone attack and aimed for the hole. _I'm not gonna let them even get a foothold._ It would be over before he even knew it. His eye was glowing a blazing red.

The platform reached the top…

And just as soon as that light had entered his eye, it immediately died.

His hand fell from its raised position.

He stared ahead, confused.

It…

It was just a kid.

It was a little boy. He was dressed up just like Blondie from that movie.

Sans stared at him. He didn't get it. This… this had to be a mistake, right? _all humans are dangerous._ He knew that, but this…

"Sans. What's the holdup?"

Sans jolted upwards. "n-nothing."

The kid was holding a gun.

A metal revolver.

 _that kid's gonna grow up to become a killer._ He would grow up to be selfish and awful and probably kill other human beings, just like all the others. He'd probably killed some monsters already. Sans raised a hand to summon a bone attack.

But he couldn't quite manage it.

The kid was looking around now, movements jerky and sudden. The gun was pointed at the ground. The kid's eyes flicked over to Sans.

He was just as scared.

Slowly, Sans let his hand fall.

The kid was startled. He pointed his gun at Sans.

Sans held both his hands up. "whoa. hey, hey, hey." _the fuck am I doing?_ This wasn't any part of his training. He should be attacking right now. _it's what I'm supposed to do._ Still, his hands were both in the air. All of his attention was on the boy.

The scientists were saying something over the intercom, but he didn't hear it.

The boy held the gun up for a few more seconds, then lowered it. He was sweating, a cautious look in his eyes.

Sans's hands lowered to his sides. _fuck_. He didn't know what he was doing, but everything seemed a bit… calmer.

A loud sound pierced the air.

Sans teleported to the side instinctively, eyes darting around. _the fuck was that?_ He looked over at the boy.

The boy was pressed up against the wall. He was looking around as well – the sound hadn't come from him.

"Attempted breach!"

"What? By whom?"

"It's – sir, it's-"

The intercom shut off. Sans looked up at the observation window.

The scientists were speaking frantically again. Some of them were working frantically at the console. In the back, Sans could barely see the king's silhouette, leaving the observation room.

There was another loud sound, and the chamber door opened. It was one of the top scientists – he leapt through the door, and it immediately closed again. "This can't go any further!"

Sans was so shocked, he couldn't even speak.

The intercom crackled. "Doctor, leave the area immediately. It's not safe!"

"No. I'm not leaving until this stops." The scientist crossed his arms. "This is too far! We can't keep going like this! Not with him, not with Anyone! We have To STOP."

Sans looked away from the scientist for a second.

His breath caught in his throat.

The kid's face was contorted in a frightened grimace. His hands were shaking. The gun was back up.

And it was pointed right at-

" _get down!_ "

There was movement, and then

* * *

.

.

* * *

.

* * *

.

* * *

Red.

An entire sea of red.

And floating above it…

A glowing, yellow heart.

Sans stared at it. He was numb. Too numb to say or do anything.

The heart floated in front of him.

And then, it was behind glass.

Then it was gone.

Things were blurry now. People were saying things to him. He couldn't hear them. He just stood there.

He didn't want to look down.

He couldn't look down.

"I'm sorry."

Those were the two words he could understand. Someone was saying them over and over. He didn't know who it was – it came from right next to him.

There was no yellow now. Just red. Seeping across the floor.

Red…

A large, warm hand rested on Sans's shoulder. It woke him up. He looked at its owner.

It was the king. His eyes were dark, just as before. But it was only this time that Sans saw the pain in them. "It is hard, I know." His voice was low, and soft. "It gets easier over time." He paused – he seemed almost as if he didn't believe the words himself. Eventually, he turned and walked away.

 _easier._ It would get easier. Sans didn't even understand the meaning. He turned his attention back to the scene, not looking directly at it. Gradually, though, his eyes were drawn downward.

The gun was lying on the ground.

Slowly, he picked it up.

It wasn't even loaded.

He simply stared at it, holding it in his hands.

He would have stood there for hours if someone hadn't led him away.


End file.
